Happy Birthday, Li'l Empress! {F.I.V.E.}

I thought you might enjoy a little look back with me at the Li'l Empress,

while we celebrate the wonderful amazing day she was born.

February 2008

This isn't the earliest picture we have,

but it is the first picture we ever saw of her.

Her referral picture at about 6 months old.

And already stealing our hearts.

 I think this is the closest pic I have to her actual

1st birthday. Or the closest I have saved on disk, anyway!

Turning 2 in grand summer style!

Mmmmm, corn on the cob.

Three years old.

Really getting into the Gang's tradition

of birthday balloons by now!

Four years old and so excited to celebrate!

And now, five.

FIVE? Oh my goodness.

Truthfully, she wasn't all that excited about turning five

this morning...

After a somewhat rough start to the planned morning surprises and what we thought would be a low-key way to kick her special day off and celebrate with her, she's smiling now and embracing the joy of pink sparkly balloons, flower-patterned bike helmets and big girl bikes. One thing we know for sure: there is NEVER EVER a dull moment with this girl of ours.

Happy Birthday, Li'l Empress!

The gift of your life and your presence in this family has enriched us all.

And we are soooooo grateful God saw fit

to place you in our home and hearts. We love you sweet girl!

I'm Under The Big Oak Tree!

Just wanted to mention to you all that my guest post at Under The Big Oak Tree is going live today.  I'd sure appreciate it if you'd stop over there and leave a comment. Surf around her site a bit. Check out some of her awesome recipes and menu ideas. And leave a comment. Take some time to look over the cool organizational tips and the weight loss challenge she has going on. And leave a comment.

Yes, please. Leave a comment. Encourage others to think about adoption. Cheer Alison on for being a voice for little ones who wait for mommas like me. Tell the other readers how much you love your Wild Olive tee. Tell them which one you've already ordered. Leave a comment. You get the idea!

And by way of updating you about our Wild Olive tees fundraising project, I wanted to say thanks to those who have ordered already. We are a little less than half-way to the crazy goal we set for ourselves. But we know that God loves to blast crazy goals out of the water. And the gals over at Wild Olive have graciously extended our sale to allow us to "go for it!" So we are!!!!!

If you are interested in purchasing your own Wild Olive tee, click on the pretty little button to the side of this post, the one that says "Help Bring Our Child Home." And when you get to the Adoption Fundraising Tees pages, put our family code (WHITNEY407) in the coupon code button at check out.

But first, go read my guest post at Under the Big Oak Tree. And leave a comment. Pretty please?!

More Partying than Olympic Village!

I'm back. Did ya miss me? I've been soaking in family time and getting my love tank filled to overflowing by hosting my side of the family for the weekend. We planned a big get together just to celebrate our family and the great things God is doing in and through all of us.  It's becoming a bit of an annual tradition that we enjoy, usually in August since we have soooo many August birthdays.

I wish I had thought to snap some "Before" and "After" pics of the refrigerator and pantry to show you all. Use your imagination when I tell you that I prepared well for the 25 bodies that descended upon our home for a family Sunday of grilling and swimming and hanging out. Here's the spread we all put together for Sunday dinner.

And that most of those same bodies came back again on Monday. D*min*e's Pizza was running a special for on-line ordering so I chose that option for the evening meal and made it easy on all the mommas. My poor dishwasher ran 4 times on Monday alone, even with paper plates and disposable utensils!

Sigh. I've said it before and I'll likely say it again. Those are THE.BEST.DAYS. of the year to me. THE.BEST. bar none.

Are these not the best looking kids ever?! We're so numerous now that we had to have one table for the teens, one for the "youngers" and one for the adults!

2012 has already been quite a milestone year for just our family here in the Gang's household, but it's also been a big one in many respects for my whole side of the family. Big moves from state-to-state, new jobs, graduations, missions trips, retirements, and other big life changes to celebrate in addition to the birthdays. I'm so grateful to navigate those changes and this journey with them.

And it certainly didn't hurt that we gathered to celebrate our family around big platters of juicy steak. Mmmm, steak.

Guest Posting for Adoption!

I'm very excited to be a "featured mom" on the online magazine called MomColored Glasses today.  If you aren't reading over there, really, you need to. Not just cuz you like me, although heading over there and sharing some comment-y love is so appreciated. But also because they are doing a great job highlighting all kinds of issues that affect us moms.  It's a really great read, no matter what day you head over there, no matter what topic they are tackling.

It's an honor to be sharing a re-post of one of my favorite posts ever. It's always an honor to share my heart and our story in this way. I pray that you are blessed. And if you are, please share it with someone else!

In addition, I am set to be a guest blogger on another resource-type blog next week, called Under the Big Oak Tree. The owner of the site is a member of the online yard sale community that I joined this winter. She was very intrigued by our adoption journey and the purpose behind my new "part time job" of online selling. So she offered me an opportunity to share a different part of our story.  When that one goes live, I'll be sure to let you know. In the meantime, head over to her site and check out the great meal ideas and de-cluttering challenges she runs! She's a gal after my own heart, for sure.

In Between

In between the moments of greatness and inspiration that the 2012 London Olympics have already provided for our Gang's viewing pleasure, we've had a couple other moments worth noting.

Friday night, for the Opening Ceremonies, we feasted on a plethora of international delights. There was Italian sausage and German franks on the grill. In between bites of old-fashioned American baked beans and Italian pasta salad, there was plenty of good laughs and shared memories over about the Beijing Opening Ceremonies and Li'l Empress' 1st birthday celebration. It was all followed by ice cream (the origin of which many nations claim!) and red, white and blue rocket pops as we watched London strut her stuff.  

Apparently all the excitement proved too much for Li'l Empress. Somewhere in between Team China's appearance and the Maldives' stroll through the Parade of Nations she crashed on my lap.

Sigh. I love it when she falls asleep on me like that.

I know it won't last much longer.

After all, she is almost five. Sigh.

On Saturday, I took the day to help a friend tackle some purging of possessions and re-organizing of rooms and spaces in her home. She's been working the "one room at a time" process on her own for a few weeks and I really enjoyed helping her see her rooms with a slightly different perspective. In between the purging and the re-purposing, she fed me and plied me with iced tea and great conversation. THEN, she blessed me with a trunk full of donations for our on-line yard saling efforts.

There's about 6 garbage bags full of stuff under there!

So all the new stuff coming in inspired me to pare down my current inventory and freshen up my sale album. I went from this, in the living room, 

and, this, in the garage

to just this, in the garage in between breakfast, lunch,

and a few Olympic profiles and errands to W@lmart.

Meanwhile, the youngest members of the Gang are oooh'ing and aaaah'ing over the Men's synchronized diving competition. Which I am watching in between loading pictures and formulating sentences.

If multi-tasking was an Olympic event, I'd get at least a bronze for Monday's labors alone!

My Apologies, In Advance

The kick-off to the London Games of the Olympics is finally here. I'm so excited. I'm a total Olympics junkie. Counting down the days till today. Tearing up all summer long at every ad and every interview. Stalking the sites for the feel good stories. All of it.

Well, admittedly, not all of it. I was planning to have a big international bash here at the house tonight with all kinds of like-minded friends joining the fun. But with everything that's gone on here this summer and the crazy schedule we've kept, I felt the need to go a little more low key. So we're celebrating the Opening Ceremonies with friends. The same friends, in fact, who allowed us to turn our Opening Ceremonies dinner into a dual celebration of Li'l Empress's 1st birthday on the opening night of the Beijing Olympic Games. This could be the start of a fun tradition with our friends. Team USA, Team China, and Team Russia will all be well represented tonight, between the two families!

Given all the fervor and single-minded focus I plan to indulge in over the coming weeks, I'm apologizing in advance for what is sure to be spotty blog updating over the duration of the games.

As one friend so eloquently put it, (hat tip to Heidi!), there's about to be an outbreak of couch potatoes, nation-wide and CERTAINLY here at The Gang's Headquarters. So, I'll see ya when I see ya.

Go Team USA!!!!!

Can You Pray?

Many of you may have heard of the terrible flooding and subsequent damage in the Fangshan district of Beijing city over the last weekend. If you haven't, check out this link for details:

http://www.digitaljournal.com/article/329320

The Gang and I are asking that you please, please join us in prayer for the many who have been affected. This region is particularly close to our hearts. The sister organization of our adoption agency, called Living Hope International runs one of their two homes there in Fangshan. You've read here numerous times of our love and passion for the work of LHI. (Like, HERE or HERE and more recently, HERE, for example!) We are proud sponsors of the young lady below, named Lois.

They are truly changing lives and doing the work of God in the communities of Fangshan and Fuzhou. And with the wide-spread devastation that these storms and flooding have left behind, they really need our prayers and our support like never before.

I've been in touch with the contacts for LHI here in the States and right now, the best thing we can do is pray for safety, for minimal losses, and for health for those working in the rescue and clean up process. You can bet that when I know what else they need, I'll be sharing the information with you all here.

On the Living Hope International home page, you'll notice a section about the China Angels. This is a dance troupe of students from the Fangshan and Fuzhou homes that is currently touring here in the States, all over New Jersey, Pennsylvania, Virginia, West Virginia and North Carolina. Their purpose in coming is to raise awareness of the ministry of Living Hope International, as well as raise support and funding for the children who live in these two homes.

If you click HERE, you'll be able to see if there is a performance scheduled near your home. We took the kids last weekend and it was such a wonderful experience for all of us. There are always beautiful souvenirs for sale and opportunities to interact with the staff who travel with the kids. The Boss picked up a snazzy tie, since his new job requires a suit and tie every day now.

Please, keep Living Hope International and all of its leadership team and workers and students in your prayers. Keep our sweet Lois in your prayers. Our hearts are heavy for those sweet people who care so deeply for the children in their community.

Thank you.

The Wait

We knew when we started this journey to our Brynna girl (seriously, still taking suggestions for a bloggy name for this girl!) that it was going to be a long haul. I'm not sure when we sent off that application that we thought it would be quite this long,(Remember this post?! Yes, that date does read 2010. Sad, but true.)

We were okay with the idea of the long wait After all, we'd done it before. We knew we could do it again.

Even in the midst of the delays we couldn't avoid (Remember the bathroom project? The one from the upstairs toilet overflowing into the relatively newly-done kitchen project?) and the obstacles we have chosen to plow through in the process (re-vamping our finances to further reflect Godly principles of stewardship thanks to Financial Peace University at our church?), I rarely felt myself growing impatient or antsy.

I settled into The Wait kind of like one does a comfy old chair on a lazy Sunday afternoon. I had kind of taken on a "it'll happen when it is supposed to" kind of perspective. Which, given the frustrations we've faced, has served me well. In fact, I've been able to And believe me, we've already faced our share of difficulties the most frustrating of which occurred only more recently, minor though they may be in retrospect.

Lost a social worker 3 interviews into a 4 interview process

(Resolved very well with a GEM of a new Social Worker

and a partial refund that blessed us beyond words)

The Boss's job loss and subsequent financial changes and stressors,

certainly too numerous and now tedious to enumerate

(Also resolved well but definitely a difficulty

that I don't wish on any paper-chasing family)

Authentication and Sealing snafus both at 

the state level and at two consulate offices

(Resolved, certainly not huge hang-ups but only after a 

three - four week delay we hadn't really counted on)

Four files reviewed and returned

(The first one was a vague inquiry, the next two were sweeties

but older than we can handle. The fourth one was a really

hard choice but definitely the right one for the family.)

And now the wait. Oh. The Wait.

Yes, we are full-fledged into The Wait. And I'm finding something very curious happening in my heart since we got our LID notification. That "it'll happen when it's supposed to" thing has flown right out the window. It's gone. And it took with it any sense of perspective I might have had given that this is our second adoption and I "know" the dealio.

In the last 6 months of this journey, I've talked a couple waiting friends of the ledge of insanity and desperation. :)  LOL.... you know who you are!  I've studiously avoided any "day counting" between milestones for the sake of my sanity. I've only occasionally checked the forums and "rumor" sites, and mostly only to connect with other BTDT mommas over specific needs I've been researching. I've been okay with it all.

Until this week.

I am not sure if it's that I've finally had a relatively quiet week as far as my daily pace is concerned. Or if I've been feeling more pressed in my prayer time to dig in for the wisdom and discernment we need to "know" our Brynna when we see her. Or if it's even a sense of impending-ness that I'm not totally aware of yet. Or what it is. But I am no longer "okay with it all." At all.

(I'm not on the ledge of insanity or desperation or anything. I promise!)

I'm starting to feel an urgency in my heart and mind in the last couple days. I am stalking sites and forums, searching for tidbits of information and details of timelines for other waiting families. I'm paging through pictures of babies, some who are waiting for their mommas and some who are not, and crying at the drop of a hat. I'm fighting a sense of being consumed with the need to find my daughter. To see her face. To start the process of "knowing her" even if it is only via a medical file and occasional updates while we wait.

I'm THERE again. I remember it well. Opening the file that held Li'l Empress's little life story to date. Looking into those eyes, knowing that I get to spend the rest of my life taking JOY in looking into those eyes.

And I'm not okay with The Wait after all.

Your prayers for us as we prepare our hearts and our minds

for the next release of the Shared List would be appreciated.

Estimates put the release at either the 23rd-ish or the 30th-ish.

We'd love this list to be The One on which our Brynna girl waits.

But we want to be ready if it's not.

Wordless Wednesday {refresh}

Waiting with bated breath.

That little button is gonna see a lot of action today.

For more Wordless Wednesday fun,

head over to 5 Minutes for Mom.

To find out if I was chosen as one of the three

GRAND PRIZE WINNERS of the 

2012 Mary Kay Get Beautiful and Give Back

make-over contest, come back here.

*Update: I didn't win. I'm sad. But I'll get over it.

Sigh. I really did think my story was more compelling

and very focused on the "Give Back" part of the contest.

Yup, We're Still Doin' "That Sale Thing"

The other day, someone rather randomly asked me if we were still doing "that sale thing."  I was confused, at first, because I wasn't sure that this person had ever heard me talk about my online yard saling (my new "part time job" on F@cebook). But then, they said, "Ya know, those tee shirts with the Bible verses on them?"

Oh. That sale thing.  Heh. Heh.

Yeah. We are still doing that sale thing. We're so grateful for those of you who have purchased tees already (from as far away as AUSTRALIA! Can I get a WOOT WOOT?!). I'd love it if you could snap a picture of yourself, sportin' your fancy schmanzy Wild Olive Tee and send it to me. It's such fun to see the beautiful variety you all choose.

And for the record, we are actually still doing that book sale thing, too.

And I'm still doing the F@cebook Yard Sale thing, too. I had originally planned to phase it out by July and think and pray about re-starting it in the fall when the kiddoes go back to school. But I have some seriously cute inventory of kids' summer clothing and even some cute ladies' clothing (sizes Small 4/6 all the way up through Medium 10/12) that were recently donated so I've been keeping it up and running.

I never really saw myself as a fund-raising type, even for something as important to my family as adoption, but I've actually really enjoyed these particular ventures. And recently, I believe the Lord gave me a pretty cool idea for a potentially exciting and profitable opportunity that can benefit our adoption as well as many, many others within the adoption community. I'm praying over it and trusting Him to make it all happen as He sees fit. In the meantime, pray for me as I tiptoe into the early prep work of it, if you think of it, please?

If you happen to be interested in any of the items mentioned above, please check out my sidebar to the left of this post or feel free to contact me by commenting here or by emailing me. I'm thrilled to share the details with you. If you desire to support our efforts further, please feel free to share our information or posts and give folks the low-down on the family code for the tees or our family name for the book. That'd be awesome, too.

My Drummer Boy

On Saturday, Shaggy left for Argentina. With 11 other members of our church, he is spending this week helping a pastor in Las Flores (south of Buenos Aires) plant a new church to serve the local community. He will be helping to lead worship as a drummer on whatever drum set or makeshift drum set they can put together. He also gets to preach, act in some dramas for street ministry, and do whatever else the Lord has for the team to do to support the new church.

So we started the day with a family brunch. The Boss went all out with a new recipe for French Toast and eggs. Mmmmmmm....

This is what it looked like while Shaggy was trying to decide if he needed a bigger suitcase or less clothing. After all, it is winter in Argentina right now. He settled on the smaller suitcase. I sure hope he stays warm on those cold nights of tent ministry!

Of course, before he left, he had to spend time with his drum kit. He calls them his babies. I love hearing him going after the presence of the Lord as he drums in the basement. And I love that he's getting to use his gift and his passion to bless another church family, in another nation!

I am so grateful and proud to be part of a church where OUTREACH is our culture. Especially among our young people. Last week, one of Shaggy's best friends left with another gal from our church and the local Christian radio station to minister in Ecuador. Two weeks before that, a brother and sister from our church family spent a week serving in a ministry in Texas. And just yesterday in church, we commissioned off in prayer yet ANOTHER young lady to minister for a week in Alaska.

Here is Shaggy with another really good friend and drummer chick, and his beautiful cousin, Sarah, who are also going on the trip. This team has a total of 5 young people on it. I think that's a pretty darn cool ratio - 5 young people with 7 adults.

I'm not too proud to admit that the fact that his Uncle Paul is going along for the ministry experience made it much easier for this momma to nudge my boy to go and take it all in. Knowing that Shaggy has family to rely upon while he's traipsing around the country of Argentina helps me sleep a wee bit better!

Of course, we couldn't let him get away without a hug and a pose or two for the Momma, now could we? Sigh. I just love being the momma to this gang.

We are very excited for our son and very proud of his diligence to follow the Lord's promptings to consider this mission trip. Please pray for our whole team as they seek to influence the community they are serving. Pray for safety and good health. Pray for an outpouring of the Holy Spirit that will change hearts and lives, including their own. And pray for this new church to take root and thrive, that the Kingdom of God be glorified and expanded in that town!

Playdoh Art

This is how the younger members of The Gang occupy themselves on summer nights.

Look at all the GREEN sports paraphernalia.

My little Eagles fans :)

Li'l Empress was baking strawberry muffins to share with Momma.

LadyBug got all artsy and did her rendition of "The Scream."

Ummm, and apparently, this is how The Boss

occupies himself on a lazy summer night!

Happy Friday, Folks!

Oh, Yeah. One More Thing To Celebrate...

Heh. That's the danger of writing your posts in advance. I set up a visually pleasing and fun post several hours in advance of my bedtime, scheduled it to go live first thing Wednesday morning and then something else noteworthy happened. But in my excitement of our evening of festivities, I forgot all about coming back and editing my Wednesday wrap up o' celebrations.

So. LEST I forget to document this exciting and very forward-movement moment in the journey to our Brynna (seriously, I need to take suggestions for a name for this little chickie!), I give you.....

Yes. The Gang has a Log In Date.

Get it?

L.I.D.?

Lid?

lid?

Hello? Anyone?!

Anyhoo. Yes, our dossier was sent to China on June 27, 2012.

And our dossier was logged in to the waiting queue

at the CCWA

on July 9, 2012.

Pretty quick, huh?! Yay, God!

So that means that we are now eligible to review any file that our Social Worker Extraordinaire thinks might be a good match for our family, from any list published by the CCWA. (Remember, previously, DTC allowed us to only view files that were specific to our agency or part of the Special Focus listing.)

Please pray with us and for us as we review files and seek the Lord's plan for our family with regard to just exactly WHO our sweet Brynna will be.

Pretty cool, huh?! Yay, God!

On a Happier Note!

This week, there's been lots to celebrate here at The Gang's house.

As opposed to the "just get me through the day" of last week.

So celebrate we did.

Daddy's first day of the new job warranted a big rib dinner.

Li'l Empress has settled nicely after several intentionally quiet

and slow-paced days and a focus on routine.

Shaggy's car is back on the road after many longs weeks of DIY repairs and some SERIOUSLY AMAZING time, generosity, and dirty, greasy, sweaty hours of help
from multiple folks who know their way around axels, struts, brake lines, and so on.

Momma started a new "household management" weapon tool.

Hat tip to a fellow adoptive mommy blogger!

 And Baby BlueEyes got the honor of being first to pick a job to redeem his "stuff.

SERIOUSLY... THAT's the first thing he picked. That smirk says it all, doesn't it?!
It's a darned good thing he's so cute.

So we had cake, ice cream, and night time swimming to commemorate it all.

Unplugged

If you didn't read yesterday's post, please head there first. It'll all make so much more sense when you read this one :)

After Li'l Empress's traumatic Tuesday and Wednesday, we tried really hard to resume as normal a Thursday as we could. We had kids to taxi around, bulletins to write, jobs to catch up on, laundry to fold, and friends coming in and out all afternoon to swim. The weather was still brutally hot and Li'l Empress was still super clingy and whiny and anxious. Her restlessness was evident in her hair-twirling and myopic focus on various things throughout the day. Heh, by lunch time if I'd heard one more request for a freezer pop, my head would have exploded. We managed most of the day by tools of re-direction, distraction, and short-term goals and little rewards along the way. We gave her short periods of time on and off the hearing aide throughout the day but didn't push it when she was ready for a break. We just re-introduced it later, as per the parameters of the trial.

Earlier in the week, friends had extended an offer of a free trip to Hershey Park for The Gang on Friday. We spent most of our down time on Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday debating the merits of going or not. I knew in my gut that it would not be the best choice for Li'l Empress, given the continued heat and her still-lingering anxieties. So I decided to take advantage of the opportunity presented and made the choice for Li'l Empress and I to unplug for the day while the rest of the Gang enjoyed the sweet (pun intended) treat.

The Gang headed out bright and early Friday morning, water bottles and iPods in hand for the trip out to our friends' house and all things Hershey Park Happy. And as soon as they pulled out of the drive, the unplugging began. I let Li'l Empress sit quietly with her dry cereal and juice to watch a couple of her morning kid shows. I sat in the other room and folded towels and watched the news.

When her shows were over, the tv went off and she got dressed, made her bed, brushed her teeth, did her hair and started her day. Unplugged.

No hearing aid.

No tv.

No music.

No Wii.

No swimming.

We occupied ourselves all day long, sometimes together, sometimes separately. We played the Memory Game. (I got beat soundly!) We read books. We had a couple snacks. We ate lunch together.

She colored. She did puzzle after puzzle. She played with her wubby. She read books. She had quiet time in her room with just her stuffed "buddies" and her blankie. No sleep, but she rested quietly. 

I cleaned the hall closet and the game cupboard. I re-organized the crafts and consolidated them into one tidy cupboard. I made blueberry cobbler. I folded lots of laundry. I read a suspense novel.

We ate dinner quietly. We read more books. She colored and made love notes for the whole family. She took out the window markers (a rare treat usually reserved for really rainy days).

And slowly but surely over the course of the day, I could see her relaxing. She was no longer hobbling between rooms. She was laughing. She was forgetting about the band-aids. She was finding peace again.

It wasn't perfect, by any means. She freaked out a little when she first woke up and found out that she couldn't watch tv till all the kids and Daddy were gone. But I reminded her that she wouldn't watch anything if she couldn't improve her attitude and she chose wisely. She did melt down at lunch when one of the band-aids fell off. But I quietly and matter-of-factly just replaced it with a smaller, clean band-aid and moved on. So did she, after a couple prompts.

By the time she headed off to bed, I could see a huge improvement in her eyes and her posture. So much less fear, and certainly less anxiety. She was able to giggle during bedtime snuggles and prayers and was happy to crawl in for the night. Such a marked difference from the previous night even.

I'm so glad I listened to my gut instinct. I'm not a huge fan of amusement parks, so the decision wasn't going to cost me anything personally, beyond missing out on some time with our friends and watching the big kids enjoy themselves. But I knew by then (heh, again, slow on the uptake!) it could and would cost Li'l Empress dearly. A LOT more than I was willing for her to pay at the end of that difficult week. I am blessed to be married to a man who trusts my gut when it comes to our kids and this time was no exception.

And you know what? It was worth it. Though it definitely took some doing, some cajoling, and some bargaining and a couple missteps along the way, Li'l Empress was able to get in the pool and play with her sibs and her cousins for a little while on Saturday. She steered clear of the diving board, but she did it. And did it on her own terms. Considering how much she loves our pool and how much she NEEDS the activity and movement that it provides, I'm really glad she conquered that on Saturday.

Now, if we can just get past those darned band-aids. Loves them. Hates them. Can't stop thinking about them or talking about them. Sigh.

Wow. I'm Really Glad THAT is Over.

It's been QUITE the wild ride here since I last reported in on Li'l Empress’ trial with the bone-conduction hearing aide. Here's some of the highlights (ahem, low-lights?) of the experiences we faced - the good, the bad and the ugly.

• Huge, erratic, illogical, and consuming emotional melt-downs multiple times a day – reminiscent of this post
• Hyper-focus almost to the point of obsession on minute issues that normally are easy-peasy for our girl 
• Grossly out of proportion, anguish-type crying and sadness over issues that she normally handles with just a bit of guidance or re-directing (and that's even taking into account that she is pretty sensitive by nature)
• And thankfully, on a positive note, long, healing and refreshing naps and overnight sleeping, without which I am certain we would have ALL melted down right with her

Here's the "thing." Or, rather, the several things:

• We were in the middle of a 9 or ten day heat wave.
• We are in the middle of a brand-new hearing aide trial.
• We haven't had a "regular" daily schedule since the kids' last day of school. Remember, The Boss has been out of work since March, so all 7 of us have been home with a very irregular "Saturday" kind of feel to the household particularly since June 13th.
• And last week, after I wrote Day 5's summary, company came for two days.

Taken separately, none of those things were enough to warrant Li'l Empress’s extreme reactions. But. Then. One more thing. The icing on the already sliding and melting multi-layered cake o’ drama.

Early Tuesday morning Li'l Empress took a tumble off of the diving board onto the concrete. Normally, that's not that big a deal. I mean, she has a long and dramatic history of being overly traumatized by any.little.teensy.tiny. boo-boo. And a serious love/hate relationship with band-aids. But this?! OH. MY. WORD. This set off an ENTIRE day of literally unbelievable drama (NO exxaggeration on my part, you can ask ANY of The Gang OR our lovely, patient, and oh!SO!tolerant houseguests. REALLY). Trauma. Shreiking. Yelling and trying to hit me. CRAZY child out of control behavior. So NOT our sweet, bubbly, funny girl.

As I've said before, I'm rather slow on the uptake and I foolishly didn't connect all the "things" together as a major overload for our girl and I am totally embarrassed to say that I lost my cool a couple times AND still tried my darndest to keep some sort of consistency with the hearing aide trial. Looking back, I'm not sure what I was thinking. Except that I was so completely dumbfounded by it all. I’m STILL not sure just exactly how it all got to those levels of insanity....

Seriously. I've never, in my almost 18 years of parenting, seen anything like it. Except for that one time that Dr. D broke his leg and cried all day long while in Grandma and Grandpa's care. He wouldn't walk, he couldn't talk, and he wouldn't be put down. At all. Which got me remembering.

And then I was seriously nervous and concerned all through Tuesday night into Wednesday morning. The whole time, she wouldn't let us near her boo-boos, couldn't let us straighten her legs to check for bruising or swelling, wouldn't walk upright, and pitifully hobbled in a crouched-over, old lady-with-osteoporosis type of shuffle/hop thing. (THAT lasted from Tuesday till Thursday afternoon. Seriously, ya'll it was pit.i. full.)

I am so incredibly grateful for my awesome visiting friend. True to her very wise and compassionate nature, she totally affirmed that what we were experiencing did NOT appear to be tantrums or manipulation or mean-spirited behavior. Rather, she observed that there was definitely some pretty serious fear and anxiety being expressed. So we started asking the kids more questions and trying to figure out exactly what happened.

Turns out, she actually somehow cracked her chin in the fall, too. And of course, by then we realized that the fall off the board was obviously terribly jarring to her whole body. Her poor joints and muscles must have been in agony, given the extent of her reactions. This was confirmed when bruising appeared on her knees, the tops of her feet, and her chin (oh, so sad, I know!) by Wednesday lunch time.

Through Wednesday and Thursday, we tried to just love on her, relax with her, and reassure her that she was safe and secure. On her terms and when she could let us. The real struggle on Wednesday and Thursday was holding the line with her with regards to speaking respectfully and kindly even when she was sad or angry. I think that was a pretty good instinct, as she seemed to take comfort in the consistency of Mommy's insistence on manners and kind speaking words. Even if it did frustrate her in the middle of a crying fest.

From the little commentary that's been leaking out ever since, we figured out what else must have happened. It sounds as if she actually fell close enough to the edge of the pool that she thought she might fall in. She had her swimmies on and jumps in regularly off the board but FALLING in with no control is very scary, for sure! I kept hearing about the very hard ground and the ouchy on her chin and saw the trembling fear at the thought of getting anywhere near the deep end of the pool. Poor girl was totally shaken.. It was enough to make me just curl up on the couch with her and cry for her. When I finally "got it" and connected with what all must have been going on in her heart and mind and body, I was sad for my girl.

So, on Thursday afternoon, I made the decision to unplug for all of Friday. And I am so glad I did. Come back tomorrow and I'll share the rest of the story with you then.

Day 5

Today is Day 5 of Li'l Empress's soft band

bone conduction hearing aid trial.

I know. No warning, no updates along the way to let you know what was coming. Just those little teasers that leaked out at the end of last week. Bad blogger. In my defense, our sweet audiologist kind of sprung it on me quite suddenly at Li'l Empress's 6 month hearing check. The day before Shaggy's big huge graduation party. That rolled right into a big huge June Birthday/Father's Day party. That rolled into two days of Momma Coma while I attempted to recover from the huge adrenaline high I'd been running on for a week or more.

And then it was time for the appointment to start the trial. Whew. I'm still not totally recovered from all of it, I suspect.

Anyhoo!

Li'l Empress has been wearing the soft band for short periods of time for the last four days. We are definitely noticing some things during the trial period that are noteworthy and I'd LOVE to hear from other folks who have done this with their kiddoes to help me understand and gage our experiences.

The most noticeable thing is the funny, almost robot-like way she speaks for the first few minutes it is on her head.  I know it's that she is hearing herself in a new way for the first time in her little life but it provides GREAT comic relief around here. Which is a good thing cuz the other things we are noticing are well, not as much fun.

The other most noticeable thing is how tired she is.  Now, we know that our household has been very busy since mid-May and it's likely catching up to her in many ways. But we have noticed a marked change in the last 4 days - she doesn't fight nap time at all. She is very cranky around 1 every day and falls asleep quite easily. And bedtime seems to be a welcome relief to her for these past four nights. I totally understand why and we've purposely structured our days since Thursday to make sure she is home for nap time and able to "crash" during the day with books or a kid show as needed. I'm so glad our Miss Laura (the audiologist) told us in advance to expect this.

Finally, the other thing we've noticed is that she has definitely been advocating for herself by doing things like relying on visual cues, asking to have the tv turned up or down, and learning how to ask for a break from the band when she's feeling "done." This has come after some serious melt-downs (particularly the first two days) but she's really improving in just the last 24 hours with her choice to speak up for help as opposed to breaking down in a puddle of tears. That emotional "limit" seems to be expanding. That's a very good thing now, but man, Thursday and Friday and most of Saturday were challenging for The Boss and I to manage and talk through with her.

We are loving how she is testing things out for herself. It's so fun to see her testing and questioning and trying to learn for herself. For example, she likes plugging up her hearing ear with her finger and asking us to talk to her to see if she can hear us.  She's testing volumes all the time. Which is kinda cute but also kinda loud on occasion. I'm okay with that, most of the time. We've also noticed that she loves blocking the little microphone on the conductor and making the feedback go crazy. It makes her giggle and us cringe. Which I know she loves.

I've had quite a few folks ask why we are doing this, if her hearing ear is working so well for her. Well, that is a valid question that I've asked often myself. According to her speech and language development, she is pretty "on target," with the exception of a stutter that seems to be lingering longer than is stage/age appropriate. And she is eligible for speech and language services, along with hearing services once she starts school in the fall. But only having one hearing ear can and already sometimes does affect her learning capabilities. The goal of this trial and eventually the permanent use of the aide is to enhance and boost any way we can her capabilities to catch all the learning opportunities in school and daily life. Her IEP stipulates that she have an FM system on her desk at school. The FM system will train her to and give her access to the "important noises" in the classroom - the teacher's directives and instructions that she needs to succeed in her academics. But it will not AMPLIFY the noises around her.

That's where this bone conductor hearing aid comes in. It amplifies all the noises around her by adding sound to both ears. The tiny conductor takes in the noises, turns them into vibrations that travel through the tab on the band, stimulating the mastoid process, and sending the vibrations to the cochlea. We have known for a long, long time (remember the tests she had done when she was really little?) that her right ear hearing was excellent on the inside. Everything that goes from her right cochlea to her brain handles sound and stimulation really, really well!

Amplifiying the noise will allow her to catch other noises such as classmates' input, announcements from the PA system, and other background noises that are regularly missing or at least muffled for her without the aide. This will be particularly important when traveling outside of her home-base classroom. I'm anticipating that it might be a bit of a mixed bag of support when in the gym or the cafeteria, as we've already see that she taps out a bit when all 7 of us are hanging out and we're not being mindful of the expanded experience her aide is creating. Basically, the hearing aid will open up the sound field for her in ways that the FM system cannot.

In the coming days, I'll be sharing more as we are learning. And I'd love to hear from you! Have you been through this with your kiddoes? What insight or observations can you share? Are you looking at a trial like this for your child's future? What questions might you have? I'd love to get a conversation going - this is something that I learned a lot about from other BTDT parents before we even sat down with our audiologists - I'd love to share that with others and make the conversation beneficial to all who want it!

D!T!C! - Finally! and Other Important News

After a long and circuitous route of documentation, detours and delays, we are so very excited to announce that The Gang is finally DTC (Dossier to China) as of Wednesday, June 27th!!!!

For those of you who read around here and are NOT immersed in the sea of three-letter and two-letter adoption-ese, that means our big huge pile of adoption paperwork containing all our most personal, legal and private information has been sent to China. As I type this, that almost-sacred package is winging its way to the Chinese government offices to be logged in to the massive waiting list for prospective adoptive parents.

It also means that we are able to review and consider what are called Special Focus files. Those represent kids from the Waiting Child program who maybe have more complex needs, multiple needs, are older, or often are boys. It's kind of like a micro list within the greater Waiting Child Shared List. Truthfully, it's unlikely that we will find our girl on that particular list considering the "list" of needs that The Boss and I have indicated would be possible for The Gang to accept. This list was created in the early stages of our paper-chase and is based upon a extensive survey of needs and the degree of severity that we feel comfortable accepting responsibility for when we consider parenting a special needs child. For example, we feel completely capable of accepting the file of a child with unilateral hearing loss but not one with total deafness. There's some great explanations of all of that here on this site. (It's also a great site for basic understandings of everything we're doing, if you are interested!)

After DTC, we should receive an LID (Log In Date) in about two to four weeks. At LID, we then have official permission to view any file from the entire Waiting Child program. This will also be the point at which our agency begins actively attempting to match us to a little girl with each monthly release of the Shared List. 

While we are greatly disappointed that our file is only just now being DTC'd (yeah, I just made that up!), we are relying on what we know to be true of the process and more importantly of our God. It's not for nothing, it has a purpose, it's all in His control and He's got our backs. This we know. I sheepishly admit, this was also hard to hang on to when last Monday we got news of yet another delay that brought us yesterday's DTC date. May was an extraordinarily difficult month for our family and early June was more of the same. These delays and detours were certainly a big part of those difficulties. When I say we are "relying" on that which we know, I mean that we kept repeating it to ourselves and to each other and tried to take turns being discouraged as opposed to both of us being disgruntled and disappointed at once. We're a good team, that way.  Heh.

So now we wait for our LID and we increase our prayerful focus on our Brynna girl. This is the part of the journey where we get to really test our trust and our discernment as we review files of the sweet little girls that our lovely Social Worker feels "could maybe" be a match for The Gang. It's no small responsibility when reviewing these files. We must prayerfully consider the needs presented in the medical history, the needs of our current family members, and the dynamics of how those things could interact together. While doing all of THAT, we must also be very careful to remember that the file represents a CHILD. A sweet little girl who could be our daughter. And that she is not her needs. She Is Not Her Needs. That is no small task, given our knowledge of the Waiting Child program and the experiences we had with our first adoption journey to Li'l Empress. We take it all very seriously and your prayers over our family and over our decision-making are appreciated.

We are also excited about another big event going on here at The Gang's house, on this very day. I'll be sure to come back later and try to get my thoughts and feelings and reactions to all of the big doings down here. Suffice it to say, with Li'l Empress heading off to Kindergarten in the fall (sigh, sob, sigh) there are certain interventions and supports that her care team wants to investigate. Those of you who read here with special interest in microtia, atresia, and unilateral hearing loss might particularly want to come back and check it all out. I will LOVE hearing from those of you who have Been There and Done That with your own hearing loss and hearing assistance journeys.

Wordless Wednesday {Birthday Lunch}

Last Friday was The Boss's birthday.

We took him out to lunch for his favorite wings.

With his favorite people.

For more Wordless (or semi Wordless) fun,

head over to 5 Minutes for Mom.

And come back Thursday and Friday.

 There's something really big going on

involving something really little

 that will be making a big change

for one of our little people

for a little while.

What She Said

My friend, Kelly has bravely tackled a touchy topic that I have long wrestled with in the adoption community. It was quite the journey to a confident mutual conclusion for The Boss and I while we debated and discussed it. As I researched and processed it, I had some really interesting conversations along the way. Obviously we have come to our own conclusion about the matter.

All of that is to really say that I love how much I've learned about the adoption process and from others within the community along the way. And while I'm certain I have much more to learn, even on this particular topic, I am very glad there are others who can so eloquently articulate thoughts and feelings similar to my own. Especially on topics as sticky as this can be for so many. 

Head over to her blog and check it out.

Just do me a favor? If you disagree with the conversation,

or the topic in general, do it here on my post. And do it nicely.

We learn best from each other when we foster respect in the conversation.

Another Big Reveal

OMIGOSH! A sweet friend just asked me yesterday if I ever posted the final reveal of Baby BlueEyes' new bedroom... and I realized that I never did! It's been done for about a month now, done waaaaay on the cheap and as a (very) belated TENTH birthday gift for our sweet, Eagles loving little guy. I'm so grateful for his easy-going, not-easily-offended, gracious spirit in allowing us to work out room arrangements and plans to accommodate the transition from 5 kids to 6 so pleasantly. Without a word of grumble or self-seeking or anger. Gentle reminders, yes. But never more than that. Which might explain why I wanted to "go big" for my little guy. He's a rare gem in this world and he deserves it to be just perfect, even if it took us FOOOOOR-EVAH to decide how to do it, and pull ourselves together to do it!

So, here's the final product. We are still trying to find a lamp and/or lampshade for the dresser, but since it stays light so long this time of year, we're good for now :)

Just a bit of a reminder of where it started....

Since this pic was taken, we've removed that particular

head and foot board and replaced it with just

a mattress and box spring on rails.

The head board/foot board here matches the one in Li'l Empress's

room. They will both paired there for the little girls' room.

Which is almost done.

This dresser is hard to see since it's black against Eagles green,

but remember this? Repainted and spiffed up again!

See that bare lamp? Yeah. Can't find a shade to match

the other lamp on the desk. Noodling that one still.

The two lamps have completely different brackets to hold their shades

so the shades we keep finding and liking aren't compatible with both

lamps at the same time. Whatever. I'll get to it. :)

This is the focus wall. Baby BlueEyes' favorite thing

about the whole room. His official, NFL approved,

Eagles fat-head wall decal.

My favorite thing is that desk. FREE by the side of

the road. Less than $10 in knob replacements.

I love it when we score like that!!!!

His "welcome to my room" sign.

Even his trashcan is in on the re-do.

Thanks to the grandparents for indulging his love

of the Eagles, even though they are Redskins fans.

Which hurts even to type. Sigh.

So. There ya have it. Baby BlueEyes got a brand new room On The CHEAP!

That's not counting the closet redo, but that was way overdue

and since it has to do double duty for regular household storage,

(ya know, cuz we have five coming up on 6 kiddoes!)

we won't count it against the re-do of the whole room.

Here's the wrap up of a room done on the cheap:

• Curtain rod - repainted from white to black.
• Curtains - re-purposed from older boys' former room decor.
• Frames above bed - donated to yard sale and they just never sold. The Boss painted them with Krylon spray paint and hung them for BBE.
• Pictures in frames - old Eagles calendar pics trimmed to fit. Now I'm actually glad BBE rarely throws away his Eagles stuff....
• Other room and wall decor - gifts from family from that long ago 10th b'day
• Chair for desk - a major steal on a yard sale site. Bought a set of 4 cuz when you have five kids, extra chairs are a must!

We are still working on finishing Li'l Empress's new digs. It's gonna be awhile cuz we have to save up for a new mattress and figure out storage for two girls' clothes and where to put the beds and dressers. We're taking a bit of a break for the rest of the month from room re-organizing and re-arranging! But when we have it ready and done, I'll show you the stuff we have up our sleeves on the cheap there, too!