Revving High

Driving home from the dermatologist the other day, I was choosing winding country roads to avoid the summer construction on the main thoroughfares. About 5 minutes into my meandering way, I found myself behind a candy-apple red new Porsche Boxster. It was stunning. Sleek. Shiny. And oh! so! RED! It was GORGEOUS. Really, just drool-worthy even for a non-car girl like myself.

As we were driving, I noticed that the sedan in front of the Porsche was holding very tightly to the 35 mph posted limits. Driving sedately and carefully around all the curves and over the hills. I also noticed that the Porsche was revving pretty high. At the intersections, the driver was gunning it while he waited for the sedan to move through the stop signs.

I found myself empathizing with the Porsche and its driver. It's an obviously high-performance machine, built for speed and power and finesse. The driver was being responsible and choosing to obey the laws of the road. He could have easily pulled out and whipped past that bland, tan sedan with a burst of power that would leave us both in his dust. But he chose to hold the course and rein in what is obviously incredible (and untapped) horsepower. I could almost feel their combined frustration and restraint in my staid Mom-mobile behind him.

In that moment of empathizing with an inanimate object and a total stranger, I think I heard the Lord suggest to me that this must be exactly how Mei Mei feels most days in our life together. I almost laughed out loud at the analogy but the more I've thought about it, the more I realize it to be true. She's by far and away the highest horsepower of the 6 of my Gang members. She's revving on high all! the! time! Except when she's asleep. She is exuberant! She is excited! She is high highs and low lows! Reining her in is hard work. Teaching her to follow the rules of the road brings me to my knees, figuratively and literally, more times than I ever remember with even my "high revving" soldier boy. Frankly, for this "older" momma, that is sometimes exhausting! It's kind of hard to be that honest about it but for those of you who are blessed to know Mei Mei in person, you know exactly what I'm talking about and are likely nodding your head with a big ole smirk right now.

This analogy that the Lord dropped in my heart gave me a fresh dose of compassion for my girl that sometimes is sorely lacking. Frankly, it's embarrassing to admit that, too - my compassion is far too often flagging when it comes to the all-consuming task that parenting her can be. I struggle sometimes with how BIG! this girl makes everything to be. It's inconvenient to "go there" with her in her great! big! feelings and great! big! expressions. It sometimes gets in my way, thwarts my agenda, pushes my plans to the side. See? Embarrassing character flaw, for sure. In the wake of that reminder, I've been counting it as God's graciousness in showing me this word picture, complete with the sounds of revving engines in a quiet countryside,

Romans 2:4 "Don’t you realize how patient he is being with you? Or don’t you care? Can’t you see that he has been waiting all this time without punishing you, to give you time to turn from your sin? His kindness is meant to lead you to repentance." ~ from The Living Bible

And though it's a few days late, I can't leave the post without celebrating Mei Mei's birthday. She's an astounding FOUR YEARS OLD now. As tired as I find myself to be at the end of every day, her spunky, (mostly) joyful, and exuberant spirit is a gift to our family than cannot be measured. She is funny, sassy, mischievous, and ALL! IN! with whatever she does. We are so thankful, and yes, humbled, at the privilege of parenting her. Even on the days that the big! feelings! are great big cranky feelings. I cannot imagine our home without her and I'm grateful that the Lord sustains me with encouragement for the task. Especially when it comes in the shape of a gorgeous red Porsche.

Happiest of Happy Birthdays to Our Mei Mei!

"Uh Uh"

As Mei Mei gets increasingly more verbal, you know, with actual discernible words and phrases, we are regularly amused by the things that come out of her mouth. One of my favorite things lately has been her non-word communication. By that, I mean her little "Hmmmm?" when she hasn't heard us clearly the first time. Or the "Uh HUH!" when she whole-heartedly agrees with a suggestion. Or the humming she does to her babies when she's talking to them and putting them down for their naps.

Well, yesterday, she pulled a new one out of her bag o' tricks.

She spent most of the morning happily playing between The Boss's phone, the iPad, her baby dolls, and the table coloring or "typing" like Mommy. Around 11:30, I noticed that she looked pretty tired so I put lunch on a fast track. I treated her to "chippies" on her plate (potato chips) but reminded her that she had to sit in one of her two booster seats for her meal while I worked on the school calendar. Neither of those options suited her AT! ALL! so she put herself in the corner and boo hoo'd for about 5 minutes. I repeated her choices to her and proceeded on with my work, just quietly and gently reminding her after about 10 more minutes that she had chippies on her plate and she was free to eat them when she made a choice about the two seats. The pull of the salty, crunchy, yumminess finally won; she climbed into her booster seat with a big, aggravated sigh to let me know she was totally put out with me.

I watched over her plate, reminding her to eat the hot dog and the chippies equally. When the chippies were finished FAR sooner than the hot dog, or the carrots for that matter, I told her that there would be no more chippies until some bites of the dog or carrots were finished. She quickly shook her head and said, "Uh Uh" in strong disagreement with my instructions. I calmly repeated my directive and walked over to the sink. She kept repeating "Uh Uh" through her copious tears and shaking her head in between trying to lick the salt off her fingers and her plate.

When it finally appeared that she just could not shake her despair, that exhaustion had taken over all sense of logic, I calmly cleaned her up and changed her diaper. All the while, she was frantically shaking her head and telling me "Uh Uh" over and over. I was trying hard not to laugh at how CLEARLY and ridiculously her tired little self was behaving. That would only serve to escalate her needlessly.

I carried her up the stairs and rocked her quietly in the chair, praying for her and NOT singing. See, when I started to sing (as per our normal pre-nap snuggle routine), she started with the "Uh Uh" again. I was fine with that, so I rocked silently.

But every few seconds, with lids drooping heavier by the second, she'd get out a sleepy little "Uh Uh." Each one more slowly drawn out than the last. Until there was barely a whisper of one last "Uh." 

That is, until I laid her down in her bed. Upon which she burst out one final "Uh Uh" more vehement than them all.

I am so proud of myself. I held the laughter in till I made it to the hallway and shut her door.

The Art of Distraction

Li'l Empress very often struggles to express difficult or negative emotions with her words, resorting instead to copious amounts of tears, feelings of anxiety and rejection, and a bit of a "poor me" complex. We've been getting some great help and tools to equip her to grow in this area of her emotional development. And in the process, I have realized that some of my parenting tools are a tad stale. I also have discovered that I don't use "distraction" as a tool often enough. 

Earlier this week, she had come to The Boss and I with a very minor offense and was on the cusp of turning it into a full-blown melt down in which she was being wronged in the very wrongest possible way, from which she would likely never, ever, ever recover. Ever.

Ummm. Yeah. Okay. Really?

In a flash of brilliance that I can ONLY attribute to the grace of the LORD ALMIGHTY (Cuz I was feeling far less than brilliant. Ya feel me?) I asked The Boss to stop his job hunting for a moment and do an image search for the infamous Grumpy Cat. Just that quick change of focus and the resulting images was enough to completely overcome any offense she was nursing.

So I had her pick her favorite, grumpiest face. I explained that she spends too much of her day looking like that over the littlest stuff. That THAT face should be reserved for really big stuff. We went on to have a fairly hilarious discussion of what things warrant THAT face. And I had The Boss print her favorite picture of the crabby kitty.

Then I cut apart the pizza box from dinner.

(Don't judge. I ran errands and grocery shopped all afternoon.

You want that I should cook TOO?)

I pulled out the markers, the glue, and the scissors.

There was cutting, gluing, and affixing to an old paint stick.

Took me five minutes.

credit: found on the internet

This side says, "A little LESS of THIS, PLEASE."

And this side says, "A little MORE of THIS, PLEASE."

I've used our new sign about four times in the last two days. She might have to work really hard to fight the smile that the feline provokes in her. But at least she's not fighting with her sister. Or fighting more tears. Oh, thankyoujesus.

So what funny or distracting parenting tool have you found to change the mood in your home? Fill me in here in the comments or write your own story of summer drama and creative interventions and share the link. I'll be sure to come by and learn from your flashes of brilliance, too!

Your Mom

"Your Mom" jokes are all the rage here at The Gang's house. Shaggy brought them home with him from his YWAM experience, changing it up to make the "your mom" ending super-hyper spiritual, Christian-ese. They are usually quite funny and creative. However, Li'l Empress hasn't quite gotten the hang of them yet. This happened this morning over breakfast.

Li'l Empress sniffed and grimaced while she asked

"What smells like rotten egg in here?"

Baby BlueEyes (oh-so-lovingly) responded quickly,

"You smell like a rotten egg,"

Just as quickly, Li'l Empress started to shoot back,

"Your MOM.... "

And just as quickly, she trailed off in a whisper, looking around uncertainly,

"... is cute."

Do you think this means that the "think before you speak" message is starting to become the rage, too?

One can hope.

One can always hope.

There's a First Time for Everything

The mood here this morning started out sunny and happy. As it does many mornings. Everyone was up within minutes of each other and Mei Mei was toddling around giving her morning hugs and kisses to the big siblings.

Suh-weet.... a good start is always appreciated here, as they don't happen as a matter of course.

Then Li'l Empress started the downhill slide with sadness about going to school. Sigh. She was home yesterday with the other gang members while they recovered from a nasty stomach bug. We were kind of on the fence about her showing symptoms so we just kept her home. Backfired into big alligator tears for the first 12 minutes of the day. That was resolved quickly and matter-of-factly (man, you canNOT show this kid too much sympathy for her plight or she miiiiiilks it outta ya!). 

I sent the gang downstairs to start breakfast and got Mei Mei going with a clean diaper and let her pick a shirt to start getting dressed for the day (man, you HAVE to give that kid some "choice" in most of the inconsequential decisions of the day or ya get NOWHERE with the big stuff later!).

I settled Mei Mei at the table with the kids, got them all moving on cereal and excused myself to run up and finish my hair with BBE overseeing the whole process. Sounds easy, right?!

Heh. Nope, it's never that easy.

We still don't know WHAT set her off, but Mei Mei was in full freak out mode by the time I turned off the hair dryer and flew back down the stairs. Poor BBE, this was supposed to be so easy - she was buckled in, eating, and chatting happily with Lil E. What could go wrong over wheat flakes and apples?

WHAT the WHAT?!

That freak out turned into a time-in on the stairs, which escalated and became a THING that drove her mood through the big kids all leaving. Through Mommy's breakfast. Not even her beloved 12 minute short movie of minions broke the mood. Oh, man, I wasn't feeling hopeful about the morning's trajectory. Not that she was still in full freak out, thank goodness. But the mood. OH, the MOOD!!!!!

(To be fair, this time span only covered about 90 minutes of fast paced busy activity but it felt like 9 hours by the time I got all the kids off to school and Mei Mei settled enough to open the door for speech therapy.)

Then, mercifully, she put her mood on hold for sweet Miss Lauri. They had a lovely, productive session of PlayDoh time together. But as soon as Miss Lauri walked out that door, the dark cloud of MOOD resettled on her face.

So I did something that I've never ever done before. Not ever, in almost 20 years of parenting.

I bundled us both up, pulled out the dolly stroller and took Mei Mei on a long brisk walk. Nothing unusal about that, right?

EXCEPT. It was very cold. VERY breezy. And it was raining. Spitting, I believe they say in some parts.

Yeah. Me. Hater of all things cold. And all weather wet.

I didn't even care that my toes (and likely hers!) were numb with the cold. Or that it would take all afternoon for that stroller to dry out from the dampness.

There's a first time for everything.

It worked. Her mood shifted. She chattered and laughed and fussed like a little mother hen over her baby doll. And smiled. She smiled all the way around the neighborhood circle and all the way home.

We returned home, happily, to hot soup, more chattering, and finally some quiet snuggles in the rocking chair before nap time.

Sweet, sweet nap time.

Who Dunnit?

Okay. I wanna know? 

Who explained the mechanics of the time change
for Daylight Savings Time to my child?

Cuz I KNOW that I KNOW that Mei Mei does NOT know how to tell time.

Yet somehow... 

SOME HOW, she knows EXACTLY
when her former 1 p.m. naptime is supposed to start.

And she lays up there in that crib, mocking me,

laughing that I've missed that window for the perfect nap.

Three days in a row now.

What a GRUMP she is when she wakes, too.

Don't EVEN get me started on her former 8:30 p.m. bed time.

Really. Who Dunnit? I need a word.

When Christmas Shopping at the Mall

When Christmas shopping at the mall,
the $6 shelled out for a Minnie Mouse camera

at our very first-ever visit to the Disney store is absolutely money well-spent!

When Christmas shopping at the mall,
it was kinda amazing that I didn't even BLINK at the idea

of shelling out that $6. Not even once.

I have SERIOUSLY softened with age.

When Christmas shopping at the mall,
in order to get anything done on your gargantuan To Do List,
it is vital to have a plan of attack.

When Christmas shopping at the mall,
with a feisty two-year old, it is vital
to expect to have that plan shot to you-know-where.
In a matter of minutes.

When Christmas shopping at the mall,
it is necessary to have a kind answer
to the inquiries of well-meaning strangers:
"Yes, dear grandmother, I do have my hands full with THIS one.

As I do with all of 5 of her siblings.
Put all 6 of them together and I am happily and insanely overwhelmed."

*sigh*

When Christmas shopping at the mall,
a very petite Chinese girl strutting through the mall

with her hands shoved into the pockets of her purple cargos

is quite possibly the CUTEST! SIGHT! EVER!

(This was validated by the many passers-by who voiced this over and over.)

When Christmas shopping at the mall,
watching that little one dancing to the Christmas music
WITH her hands shoved in her pocket
while singing at the top of her lungs is HI.LARE.EEEE.USSSSS!

And again, I'm shocked at how I've softened with age.
I likely would have totally "sssshhushed" my other kids when I was a younger mom.

When Christmas shopping at the mall,
and contrary to popular belief (and by popular, I might just mean mine)

Chik-Fil-A waffle fries do NOT make every thing better
for a hungry, almost-tired two-year old.
Worked pretty good for me though.

When Christmas shopping at the mall,
being unsnapped from one's stroller and allowed to walk

with her hands in her pockets again, DOES, apparently, make it all better.

When Christmas shopping at the mall,
someone should remind the "mall Santa" to look up to the upper level

above his big fancy Santa couch, to say hello to his constituents.

As opposed to looking up, startled by the raucous shouts of "HI! HI! HI!"

from a certain little curious constituent.

Heh.

When Christmas shopping at the mall,
raucous shouts of "HI! HI! HI!" echo quite nicely to the ear

of said little constituent.

Which makes her repeat it. Again. And again. And again.

Through. The. Whole. Mall.

Double Heh.

When Christmas shopping at the mall,
a tired two-year old being forced to "snap back in" to her stroller
for transport out to the car is unpleasant for all to see. And hear.

When Christmas shopping at the mall is all done,
an OVER tired two-year old who drops her dolly
in the car 7 minutes from home has the magical ability
to make that 7 minutes stretch into 77 minutes.

Finally, when Christmas shopping at the mall,
anything productive that you do accomplish from that aforementioned
gargantuan To Do List must be treated as a BIG! HUGE! EXTRA! BONUS!
to the fact that you made it there and back
without losing a shoe, a water cup,
a dolly, a hair bow, or your sanity.

And THAT, my momma friends, deserves a celebration.
Or, if you are old like me, a nap.

Labeling

Several weeks after we moved into this house, The Boss (who was very excited to have our first ever 2-car garage) felt the need to label our wall-mounted garage door openers.

Pretty self-explanatory but I'm still not entirely sure why The Boss felt the need for the marking. I mean, I'm pretty sure even in the midst of this Gang's craziest chaos, we could likely remember which opener works for which door.

I will say that I can empathize. I am a huge fan of labeling. It's just that I prefer to keep my labeling for things like oats, lentils, and all the different baking chips I store in my pantry. And I prefer my handy-dandy Dymo Letra Tag QX50. (It's awesome! I can change font size AND weight, use white OR clear labels, and so much! more!) But I digress....

Anyhoo, apparently Shaggy has long felt that the labeling system for our wall-mounted garage door openers was lacking something. And apparently, now that he's a full-fledged adult {ahem, snicker, snort!}, he felt it was time to remedy that lack.

I love that kid!

New 'Do for Mei Mei

Mei Mei got her first trim since coming home.

Here's what she looked like the week we met her in China.

Ugh... such a bad haircut on such a pretty girl!

 Here's what she looked like this week.

You can't totally see it here but the back lengths

came down to a lovely 80's-looking pointy mullet. 

Even with the bulk of it pulled up in cute little piggies, it was a mop!

She liked the cape.... thought it was pretty funny

to poke her finger up into it and make a little tent.

Not even sure why it was funny but it tickled her fancy.

It did NOT, however, keep her still.

Nothing does that.

Ever.

Even in her sleep.

Heh.

Here's how she looks, all trimmed up and tidy.

Except for the stringy little straggler hanging there in her eye.

It flips over from the back of her head

like a bad comb-over.

No matter what we do to try to control it.

Excuse the smudge of peanut butter on her forehead.

Eating lunch here is a full-contact sport

and we were without the proper protective headgear, apparently!

I got a bit of a new 'do too - unintentionally.

I went in and asked for a just a few highlights to frame my face.

I came out with these shocking white {Seriously. WHITE!} locks.

All over the top, front and sides of my head.

 Sometimes, getting more than you've paid for is not a bargain.

That's all I'll say about that.

Mei Mei - 1, Momma - 0

When we were little and would cry dramatically over something not really worthy of such a display, my mom would mimic us in a horrendously melodramatic manner. Usually, it was hilarious enough to distract us and get us giggling within seconds. Sometimes, the more stoic of us (umm, that would NOT be me) would not cave quite so easily and she'd take it up a notch.

It was just one of the MANY displays of my mother's creative skills of distraction that headed of the need for formal correction. She was a master. Still is, as many of the grandkids can attest.

I've taken many a page from her book over the last 19 years of parenting. I'd been thinking about this particular trick for quite a while. Searching for the key to breaking the mood that she myopically gets stuck in once this cycle starts. Wondering if it would work on her unusually single-mindedness. Waiting for the right moment to try it out on Her Royal Ridiculousness.

So the other night, when Mei Mei was in a ridiculously overtired state, being ridiculously melodramatic about every little bump and offense, with ridiculous amounts of wailing and (faux) weeping, I pulled out my trick.  

She came to me while I was prepping dinner, moaning pitifully and on the verge of bursting into great big crocodile tears over something of pathetic origins. For about the 79th time since nap time.

I scooped her up, held her close and started my own over-the-top version of her wailing and weeping. Loudly. Ridiculously dramatically.

She stopped. Stared at me in shock. Silent for oh, ...a millisecond.

And proceeded to mimic me. Mimicking her.

OMIGOSH. Seriously.

She clearly won that round. I lost the round. AND my composure.

Literally, I laughed till I cried.

Then I cried some more. It's official. All 6 of my kids are smarter than I am.

Sister Love

This is what I saw the other day

when the living room got mysteriously quiet.

I'm SO glad I tip-toed in

and peeked around the corner to investigate!

And yesterday, in the car on the way to another round

of testing and studies for Mei Mei,

I had heard her fussing and then quiet reigned.

When I turned around, this is what I saw.

It's taken a bit of time, but I love that we've reached the point where there are more pleasant and loving interactions between these two than there are jealous or unhappy moments. Li'l Empress has had some bouts of insecurity and emotional overload in the process but I think she's settling back in. As expected, the struggles have been mainly on Li'l Empress' side of things, as she's worked through the adjustment of becoming a Big Sister after years of being the baby of the family. The bigger gang members have been awesome at making sure that Li'l Empress knows she is just as loved and cherished as ever. It's been really sweet to see them all working through the adjustment together. And the evidence that Li'l Empress and Mei Mei are falling in love with each other is there for all to see.

Now, when Mei Mei stumbles and falls on the toys in the family room, Li'l Empress is the first to rush and get the boo-boo bear for her baby sister. And when Li'l Empress came in from the yard this week, crying over a perceived offense, Mei Mei would not leave her side and watched the proceedings with great concern. She even tried to hug her and kept patting her arm while Li'l Empress calmed down.

Early on in the "re-entry" process, Li'l Empress came to me in tears and through her hiccuping and sobbing, informed me that she thought we probably brought home "the wrong Mei Mei." Because this one was mean and not sharing her toys at all. And "she hit me with the dolly!"  I tried very hard to take her seriously at that moment, and address her concerns and validate her feelings. I helped her understand that baby behavior wasn't the same as "the wrong Mei Mei" coming home, but was something we'd all have to model and work through with Mei Mei. I reminded Li'l Empress that when she first came home, she hit the kids, too. And she was even known to bite them once in a while. That it was all normal "baby" behavior and her job was to teach Mei Mei how to be part of our family by showing a good and loving example. I got her calmed down and able to pray with me. But man, oh, day, I was cracking up inside. I couldn't believe that she was calling up prayers from LAST YEAR at this time, when we were still asking as a family for the Lord to give us clear leading and direction to the "right Mei Mei;" the one that He had chosen for our family. OMIGOSH - this kid has a memory like NOBODY'S business!

I know there will be seasons, ebbs & flows if you will, of this relationship as it grows and builds, but this week's little vignettes brought such joy to my heart and I've so enjoyed the peace and promise captured in each little picture. I am so confident that the moving forward will continue to be productive and full of sweetness even in the hard moments. I count it an immeasurable gift, that God would grant the blessing of sisterhood to my girls. No matter the age span between them, they have friends for life in each other!

Here's one from last weekend,

in which all three girls were

hamming it up with Daddy's iPhone.

I love this. And can't wait to see

differing versions of it as the years fly by.

(Oh, God. Please don't let the years fly by. Pretty please?!)

CUH-RAZY Connections!

On Sunday morning, I was laying on the couch, with tissues stuffed up my nose to catch the copious dripping. (Yeah, I was finally forced to face the fact that this congestion and achey head was NOT allergies.)

Anyhoo... I was crashing there with my phone, scrolling through F@cebook and stopped to comment on a friend's post. She was sharing a picture of all the stuff her little girl had sold at their neighborhood yard sale and something in the post caught my eye. I commented that it was too bad we lived so far away, or I'd have been happy to purchase that little bookshelf for the girls' room. That I'd been looking for one like it for quite a while, and had come "thiiiiiiis" close to scoring one on my local yard sale sites this winter. This friend then commented that she was sorry, too, if she had known, she'd have tried to find a way to get it to me.  I thought nothing else of the conversation until a little while longer when I got a notification of another comment on the original post.

This friend, who lives across the state from me, went on the local-to-me cr@iglist site and found THE VERY BOOKSHELF for sale in basically the next town or two over from our home. She contacted me and asked me if it was close enough to me to be a possibility for purchase.

Whaaaa? Cuh-razy! So crazy thoughtful and helpful!

So I pulled up the link, replied to the sale post and connected with the seller in less than a half hour after contacting him.

Whaaaaa?! Cuh-razy! So crazy to find the exact one, in great shape and so local! 

Not only was it still available for sale, he had JUST posted it last night AND had done so after his neighbor failed to sell it at their community yard sale. The neighbor was going to put it out to trash but the seller knew it would move fast, so he took it and listed it.

Whaaaaa? Cuh-razy! Simply crazy that someone would throw something like that out. Utterly crazy that it hadn't sold at the immediate moment that he listed it - these things move FAST. I should know, I spent a lot of time tracking them this winter.

Best of all?!

CUH-RAZIEST of all?

It only cost us FIFTEEN DOLLARS! Dude. Seriously - that's about 3/4 of what I would have paid if I had scored the one I found this winter!

CUH-RAZY!!!! What a crazy sweet little treat from My Father and my friend - He loves giving us good gifts and He loves using His people to do it. So thankful for the connections He weaves through my life. And the adorable surprises He gives us along the way.

How cute is this?!

Those books have been in storage for over a year,

because we only had two small bookshelves

that LadyBug and Baby BlueEyes keep chock full in their rooms.

Li'l Empress is so excited to have

her own library in their room now!

Isn't this just like God?!

Facing Hard Truth

Today marks three weeks since we returned home from China with Mei Mei.

I still hit a "wall" around 4 or 5 every single day. Rather, it feels like a wall hits me. I've taken to calling it my "Wall of Tired."

I know, it's so original and catchy.

I'm still so tired most days, that I cannot form clear thoughts after 7 p.m. Or before 8 a.m. (with a big ole Tigger mug of java in hand).

For example, yesterday morning, I was chastising Li'l Empress for waiting to act on my words until I asked  four times, while holding up three fingers.

Baby BlueEyes very wisely turned away to do his laughing.

In point of fact, the whole gang has enjoyed quite a bit of amusement at the expense of my unfinished sentences and wrongly used words. Apparently, I'm a riot when I'm tired.

I have learned that I am not eloquent, or patient, when experiencing this level of lingering jet lag.

***********************************

At some point, I suppose I must face the hard truth that at this stage of our "settling in" to our new normal, this is less likely to be lingering jet lag...

...and much more likely to be a very old momma trying to keep up with a very busy, not-quite-two year old.

Yeah.

Hard truth.

***********************************

And I'll bet with a title like "Facing Hard Truth" you were expecting something much more eloquent and even maybe a little deep or philosophical.

Sorry.

I'll let you know when the {ahem} lingering jet lag has cleared the fog from my brain.

Maybe I'll be sage and thought-provoking then.

Unless it is, in fact, old age.

Then, we're all screwed.

Heh.

What's A Girl To Do?

When you have ketchup and boxed mac n' cheese residue in your hair from the previous night's dinner, acting as the world's strongest hair gel....

When your big sister calls home with a clarinet crisis that MUST.BE.SOLVED.NOW! (before the big end of year spring concert)...

When your momma's big plans for a sticking you in a nice long bubble bath with toys fly right out the window with said phone call (so much for letting Momma go brainless for a while AND getting you clean at the same time)...

Well, you sit nice and quiet for 30 seconds

(shocking in and of itself!)

and let Momma put TWO piggies in.

And leave the bath time to Daddy for later in the night.
After all, he is the one that let you experiment
with the textures of ketchup and mac n' cheese
as potential hair products.

She's Full of Surprises!

This Li'l Empress of ours is often quite a mystery to me. For as long as we've known her, she's struggled with a bit of "white coat" syndrome - fearful in varying degrees of doctors and nurses and others in medical garb, no matter how cute or trendy those scrubs may look. So when our dentist suggested we see the local pediatric dentist to remove some baby teeth that were no.where.close. to loose enough to fall out on their own, The Boss and I geared ourselves up for a potentially tough experience.

I took her for the consult appointment and the nurse gave her the full tour of all the equipment they'd be using, calling the nitrous oxide their "happy air" and the numbing gel "sleepy juice" for her gums. They wisely left out all conversation about injections, needles, blood, and so on, after reading her chart and the notes I gave upon the initial conversation to set up the consult. They gave her a ride in the "space rocket chair" and let her pick prizes just for being a good listener. I was excited to hear her telling her brother about it later, in really positive tones. Based upon previous experiences, we prepped the kids to keep it a positive conversation and to steer away from all talk of needles or blood. We had some near misses with that one, but they were a bunch of troupers, helping make it sound like way more fun than any extraction appointment should sound like!

Here she is, the morning of the "wiggling out." She was pretty nervous but as long as I answered her MILLIONS of questions patiently and similarly to the last time she asked them, 30 seconds ago, we stayed fairly positive together.

See the second row of teeth down there?

No, she's not part shark.

Apparently, her teeth are as unhappy

about change as she usually is!

This is her picture to show Daddy at work that she was doing "great so far" and that she brought her little cow from their date night with her for comfort.

She wanted this picture of the "happy air" so that she could show her brothers the funny mask she had to wear. "It looks like a piggie nose, Mommy!" was her comment when I showed her the photo.

This is her, after all the tugging and twisting and "wiggling" was done. I had to stop watching at one point, as I was getting light-headed at the scene in front of me. I am definitely not dental assistant material! Note her somber face here. She was "thiiiiiiis close" to losing it just before I took it, when she finally understood that the gauze was necessary to stop the bleeding. They did have to finally explain that part to her. She totally got that "deer in the headlights" look and I tried to distract her by saying, "Hey, let's send Daddy a 'thumbs up' picture so he knows his prayers worked!" Heh.

I don't know that she was all that fooled but she let me distract her for a few minutes anyway. This child does not do well with blood at.all and gave in to a few tears and tried to tell me through the gauze once we were home that she really wanted to be all done with "this tooth stuff."

But she handled it and totally pushed the tears aside. For the rest of the day! I couldn't believe it. There were a couple moments when I told her if she needed to cry or be sad it was okay with me. But she surprised me by shaking her head quite adamantly and pointing instead to the t.v. for distraction. For the rest of the day, we pampered her with soft, cold foods, acetaminophen, and lots of entertaining kids' shows. And we kept commenting over and over about how brave she had been.

Privately, we kept commenting to each other all the way up till bed-time that we were so unprepared for how well she'd handle this whole day. Honestly, we've had much less "difficult" appointments with her, things we thought were going to be simple, straight-forward, even easy-peasy. And they've turned into traumatic, surprising, cringe-worthy experiences that NONE of us would ever want to repeat. She surprised us "happy" this time, for sure!!!

Here she is, little gap-toothed cheesy grin.
And a little loopy-looking from just waking up from a nap!

No more shark smiles!

This is just another one of those times that surprised us.

This time for the GOOD.

The Goliath of Fear

On Tuesday night, Li'l Empress had her Kindergarten musical. For weeks now, she's been coming home with sweet and silly little songs like "Mittens" and "Shake My Sillies Out" that had me smiling with anticipation. They eased the kids into the idea of performing for a gym full of parents and grandparents slowly, introducing the idea of singing on stage, practicing on the risers, and then performing for the student body of the school during the day. They were very well-prepared for Tuesday night's big performance.

As LadyBug helped Li'l Empress pick a suitably fashion-forward outfit and do her hair with the biggest bow they could find, the questions began.

"Are you gonna be 'dere tonight, LadyBug?"

"Is it gonna be dark in 'da gym?"

"Will you wave to me, Mommy?"

"Will you sit where I can see you, Mommy?"

"Is Daddy coming to my show tonight?"

"Will people like our show tonight?"

Peppered at me, rapid-fire.

With a little "something" behind each subsequent question.

These questions are how Li'l Empress deals with anxiety she feels about facing something new and/or scary. And seriously, who ISN'T a little nervous about the idea of singing a bunch of silly songs in front of a gym full of grown-ups and family members? I know I sure would be. So, I answered the few questions as they came, very matter-of-factly, and began praying in earnest.

We did a little pre-show photo op, letting her strut her stuff while I figured out the camera on my still-new, smarter-than-me smartphone.

(Heh, in retrospect, I should have tried out the video option before we left the house, too. Trying to capture a clip of the night, in the dark, while not blocking the view of anyone around me turned me into a nervous, sweaty mess. I'm such a dork.)

She was pretty quiet on the short ride over to the school. When Daddy dropped us off at the doors to get to the classroom for lining up, she started tightening up. Her hand clutched mine. Her arms got a little stiff. Her free hand drifted up to her mouth and in went the fingers. As I handed her off to the teacher, her big brown eyes filled and her lower lip started quivering. Oh, sweet mercy.  I swallowed deep, smiled brightly, and told her to look for me and give me a big happy wave when she got on the stage. As I hugged her and walked quickly out of the room, I felt as nervous as if I was the one going up on stage in front of a gym full of people!

I have to say, she looked and acted just fine as they all filed on stage and made their crooked, unevenly spaced lines on the risers. She kept her eyes on her teacher and sang most of the first song with gusto. And then. Then it appeared as if she "noticed" where she was and what she was doing. And in front of whom she was doing it.

Hands went into the mouth, silent tears flowed immediately. It was so sad to watch her try and figure out what to do. When they got the signal to be seated, one of the teachers handed her a tissue.

I jockeyed around for a better angle with which to see her and waved at her a little bit. She looked at me and I gave her our "thumbs up, you can do this" signal. And prayed!

And something shifted. I can't describe it any other way except to say that she just decided, "I can do this. I can do this." She nodded at me and sat up a little straighter in time for the next song. She literally squared her shoulders and just.did.it.

When I saw her make that choice to go for it, it was all I could do NOT to jump up and start cheering for her! And go for it, she did. For the rest of the program, the whole Gang watched with delight as she belted out every tune, caught every cue from the teacher perched up front, did ALL the motions, and waved and smiled at us all while doing it. Oh.My.Heart!

When she got out to the car, the whole Gang started clapping and cheering for her. It was adorable to see her preening and accepting their praise. She didn't stop smiling the whole ride home. I especially LOVED that they were all praising her for the right stuff.

"You sang so nice, Li'l Empress!"

"Wow, you were so brave up there tonight!"

"You did a great job singing with your friends!"

"Li'l Empress, I'm so proud of you! You did so well!"

Yeah. It was pretty amazing. I love my kids.

Later, when I was tucking her in, I told her that I noticed the moment when she CHOSE to hang in there and participate in the rest of the show. I told her it reminded me of when David fought against Goliath. I said, "I noticed that your fear up on that stage was kind of like that big ugly giant, Goliath. But you decided to be brave like David and fight the giant even though it felt so big."

While I acted out the story of David and Goliath sitting with her on her bed, she copied my "swinging the slingshot" and killing the giant. I told her she was just like David, only her giant was called "Fear." She killed that fear by choosing to trust Jesus to be with her. Her eyes were huge. As I covered her up and prayed over her, I took special care to thank Jesus for being trustworthy with Li'l Empress's giant of Fear. When I said "Amen," she sat right back up and said, "Mommy, I killed that giant. Only my giant was being afraid. David's giant was Goliath, right?" And laid right back down with huge smile and a very self-satisfied sigh.

It was a very good night in The Gang's House.

Wordless Wednesday {seeing double}

We don't purposely dress like twins around here

but you'd never know it from this!

For more Wordless Wednesday fun,

click on the link and join in!

Number One

I have this button that came with a cute Mother's Day card from Baby BlueEyes a few years ago. I wore the button that day, but after that I felt kinda silly wearing it. For a variety of reasons. Reasons I'm sure most of my fellow mommas would understand.

It kinda felt "braggy."

It kinda felt like too much pressure.

It definitely didn't match most of my spring clothes.

Ya know, important stuff like that.

Last month, I cleaned out the van. I found the button in the bottom of our "catch-all" basket. Our catch-all basket is full of lollipops for long car trips (to ward off motion sickness and provide good behavior incentive for long shopping trips) and empty bags for trash. Oh, and a couple small car treats for Momma - for those days on the run when I'm anything BUT a stay-at-home momma. 

There in the bottom of the basket was this button. I pinned it on my sun visor. And smiled.

Li'l Empress noticed it RIGHT.AWAY. when I picked her up from school later that morning. She read it out loud, all by herself. And has, every single day since then. (She's very, very big on her little rituals like this one.) 

Yesterday, the conversation took a twist.

Li'l Empress: "Mommy, that button says '#1 Mom,' right?"

"Yup. It does."

Li'l E: "So, YOU! are the NUMBER! ONE! Momma for us, right?"

"Yup. I'm the number one Mommy, just for you. And for Shaggy. And for Dr. D. And LadyBug, and Baby BlueEyes, too."

Li'l E: "And for Mei Mei! Don't forget Mei Mei!"

Momma: "I didn't forget Mei Mei. I never forget about Mei Mei."

Li'l E, more quietly and almost hesitantly: "Mommy?"

"Yes, Li'l E?" - here it comes. This is new to the conversation... I feel myself getting ready to verbally tip-toe.

"Am I the number one Li'l Empress?"

Phew. That's easy. No tip-toeing necessary for this twist! "YES, Li'l Empress! Yes, you are our Number One Li'l Empress forever and ever!"

Very confidently and with a contented (think purring kitty) kind of smile at me in the rear-view mirror she said, "Oh, good. I am the Number One Li'l Empress." 

(Heh. Written out that way, it sounds kinda funny. Like the stories of Ancient Chinese History and the Dowager Mother. Heh.....)

Quietly, almost in a whisper, she said, "And soon Mei Mei will be our Number One Mei Mei."

Sigh. Melt. My. Heart. I love this kid.

Wordless Wednesday {$1.99}

I think this is the best $1.99 I've spend all winter long.

She's barely taken it off since Saturday night!

It's been a long while since I joined in,

but  if you want more Wordless Wednesday fun,

click HERE and link up!

In Which My Cheeks Get Rosier

I had a terrible craving for a fresh salad for lunch yesterday. It might have been The Boss's lengthy and detailed description of the gourmet salad he crafted for himself on his lunch break yesterday. But I could NOT stop thinking about garbanzo beans, artichoke hearts, and fresh broccoli on a bed of mixed greens. So I picked Li'l Empress up from Kindergarten and headed to the local grocery store. It's not the best salad bar in the area, but it fit the bill for me: close, inexpensive and already chopped and ready. Li'l Empress was duly excited because she knew some hot bar mac n' cheese was comin' her way.

We got in line, wherein Li'l Empress spied the Chinese take-out end of the hot bar and the "home-made, ooops, I mean Loooo Mein Nooooodles, Mommy!" were waiting for her. I asked her if she was sure she wanted that in place of mac n' cheese and she (I kid you not) jumped up and down in place, and said, "Yes! Yes! I'm sure, Mommy, I'm really really sure!"

Well. Okay then.

"Li'l Empress, please. It's not safe to jump in the store and you don't have to yell, I'm right here next to you."

I filled a little take-out box with her favoritest! noooooodles! in the world! and then she spied the cantaloupe. Oh, heaven help me. "Mommy! Mommy! Look! I would like some cantaloupe, too, please! It's my favorite!"

"Yes, cantaloupe is fine, to go with your noodles. But that's it. Okay?"

"Yeah! Sure, Mommy! Ooooohhhhh, KAY." She saluted me. Really. She did.

While I was assembling my salad and guess-timating how many artichoke hearts are in one serving, Li'l Empress tapped my arm. "Mommy? Mommy? Is that lady next to you a stranger?"

(Apparently the stranger-danger conversation really took. Now, every where we go, she asks if the person closest to us is a stranger. Every.where. Seriously.)

"Yes, Li'l E, she is a stranger. But if you would like to be polite and say hello, you may because I'm standing right here with you."

Heh. 

Dear Lady at the Salad Bar, I am so sorry for what that normally benign permission unleashed upon you. I do hope you can find it in your heart to shop there again. I promise, if I see you hanging around the salad bar on one of our ventures into this store, I will distract Li'l Empress's attention and unleash her onto some other  unsuspecting customer. You have my word. Sincerely, The Gang's Momma.

Seriously. Ser.I.Ous.Ly... Are you ready for what came next? (I'd type it all together without a space to replicate how she spoke it all without a breath or a pause, but that would give you all a headache.)

"Hi, lady. I am getting a new little sister. She is waiting for us in China. When my mommy and daddy go to get her, she is going to come home and live with us. Because she is supposed to be part of our family forever and ever. And when she gets here, her and I will have a sleep-over together EVERY!NIGHT! in our new room. Daddy painted it green and pink and now all the pretty stuff is hanging up on all the walls. And Shaggy is in Thailand but today he's going to Cambodia and he's gonna come home and take care of me when Mommy and Daddy are in China to get my sister. She's gonna be called Brynna Rose and I am gonna learn how to feed her and ......."

At some point in there, I was able to put down the utensils I was using to make my salad and turn for a moment to gently place my hand on Li'l Empress's shoulder in an effort to stem the rushing tide. I could feel my already rosy cheeks start to flame and I was getting a little clammy. Between her loud exclamations and her overwhelming exuberance, I was starting to feel as if a huge spotlight had just been turned on in the Produce Department. Oy, this child of mine.....

But that sweet lady being accosted just chuckled and shook her head at me.  When Li'l Empress was (finally!) done, the sweet lady bent down at the waist, THANKED Li'l Empress for sharing all that and said she was so very happy for Li'l Empress.

Oh.My.Word.

I explained, in a very brief summary, with cheeks burning, that she is very excited that our adoption process is coming to an end soon and would she please excuse my child's brain dump of exuberance. She proceeded to then "P'shaw" me and ask a few polite questions about adoption from China. All while we finished making our respective salads. She was so incredibly gracious and gave Li'l Empress a big smile and wished her great success in becoming a big sister.

Seriously!

It didn't stop there. Heh. Lucky me. We happened to be exiting the store at the same time and as we stepped aside to let this kind stranger pass us, Li'l Empress shouted, "Hey! Look Mommy! We know that lady! She isn't a stranger anymore!"

Uh, yeah.

To which she very graciously stopped, turned, and said to Li'l Empress, "That's right, my dear. Now we can be the very best of friends. Have a lovely lunch with your Mommy."

You can't make this stuff up folks. And I'm very certain my cheeks could not get any rosier.