Revving High

Driving home from the dermatologist the other day, I was choosing winding country roads to avoid the summer construction on the main thoroughfares. About 5 minutes into my meandering way, I found myself behind a candy-apple red new Porsche Boxster. It was stunning. Sleek. Shiny. And oh! so! RED! It was GORGEOUS. Really, just drool-worthy even for a non-car girl like myself.

As we were driving, I noticed that the sedan in front of the Porsche was holding very tightly to the 35 mph posted limits. Driving sedately and carefully around all the curves and over the hills. I also noticed that the Porsche was revving pretty high. At the intersections, the driver was gunning it while he waited for the sedan to move through the stop signs.

I found myself empathizing with the Porsche and its driver. It's an obviously high-performance machine, built for speed and power and finesse. The driver was being responsible and choosing to obey the laws of the road. He could have easily pulled out and whipped past that bland, tan sedan with a burst of power that would leave us both in his dust. But he chose to hold the course and rein in what is obviously incredible (and untapped) horsepower. I could almost feel their combined frustration and restraint in my staid Mom-mobile behind him.

In that moment of empathizing with an inanimate object and a total stranger, I think I heard the Lord suggest to me that this must be exactly how Mei Mei feels most days in our life together. I almost laughed out loud at the analogy but the more I've thought about it, the more I realize it to be true. She's by far and away the highest horsepower of the 6 of my Gang members. She's revving on high all! the! time! Except when she's asleep. She is exuberant! She is excited! She is high highs and low lows! Reining her in is hard work. Teaching her to follow the rules of the road brings me to my knees, figuratively and literally, more times than I ever remember with even my "high revving" soldier boy. Frankly, for this "older" momma, that is sometimes exhausting! It's kind of hard to be that honest about it but for those of you who are blessed to know Mei Mei in person, you know exactly what I'm talking about and are likely nodding your head with a big ole smirk right now.

This analogy that the Lord dropped in my heart gave me a fresh dose of compassion for my girl that sometimes is sorely lacking. Frankly, it's embarrassing to admit that, too - my compassion is far too often flagging when it comes to the all-consuming task that parenting her can be. I struggle sometimes with how BIG! this girl makes everything to be. It's inconvenient to "go there" with her in her great! big! feelings and great! big! expressions. It sometimes gets in my way, thwarts my agenda, pushes my plans to the side. See? Embarrassing character flaw, for sure. In the wake of that reminder, I've been counting it as God's graciousness in showing me this word picture, complete with the sounds of revving engines in a quiet countryside,

Romans 2:4 "Don’t you realize how patient he is being with you? Or don’t you care? Can’t you see that he has been waiting all this time without punishing you, to give you time to turn from your sin? His kindness is meant to lead you to repentance." ~ from The Living Bible

And though it's a few days late, I can't leave the post without celebrating Mei Mei's birthday. She's an astounding FOUR YEARS OLD now. As tired as I find myself to be at the end of every day, her spunky, (mostly) joyful, and exuberant spirit is a gift to our family than cannot be measured. She is funny, sassy, mischievous, and ALL! IN! with whatever she does. We are so thankful, and yes, humbled, at the privilege of parenting her. Even on the days that the big! feelings! are great big cranky feelings. I cannot imagine our home without her and I'm grateful that the Lord sustains me with encouragement for the task. Especially when it comes in the shape of a gorgeous red Porsche.

Happiest of Happy Birthdays to Our Mei Mei!

Different is Good, Right?

I mentioned last week that this summer both LadyBug and The Boss have some extra time on their hands. Unfortunately, The Boss's recent "extra time" is the sort that none of us ever really want to embrace. Due to a departmental re-organization, he has been on "summer vacation" with the kids and I since early June. It's been quite a strange summer. Most weeks feel like an endless string of Saturdays around here, as The Boss's presence at home during a week day tend to "take us all down a notch or two" as far as routine is concerned. There are definite plus's to that environment for The Gang, especially on the heels of the very difficult and high tension winter we all just survived. I'm trying to stay focused on the plus's but I have to admit, it's not easy most days.

Ironically, the Thursday before he was released from his position, we were sitting on the couch, catching our breath at the end of a fairly "routine" day. I said something to the effect of, "Gosh, I feel like we are really settling into a good new groove. Like our new normal is here and is do-able. It's kinda nice, isn't it?"

I'm not superstitious or anything even close but golly, you can bet I'm never uttering words like THAT again around here. Sheesh.

Anyway, as I was saying, there are some "upsides" to having Daddy home for the summer. We got the gift of extraordinary quality time together as a family before we sent our boy off to Basic Training. There's never going to be another opportunity to have all 8 of us home quite like this again, now that both boys are launching off into the next stage of their grown-up lives.

~ Father's Day, June 2014 ~

~ Time to leave for Basic Training ~

Letting go of Dr. D was is really hard on both The Boss and I. But knowing that he was moving on to do something he has always dreamed of doing and seeing the excitement and joy in his eyes as he prepared to go really has made it easier. He was born to do this life he is pursuing and while we miss him terribly (like, "I hate seeing his empty bed, parked truck, and my empty couch" kind-of-terrible!), we are incredibly proud of the man he has become and the path he has chosen. More substantive letters would be nice, but hey, I know better than to expect a novel! :)

Oh, how I miss this afternoon sprawl!

The Boss was also able to finish the renovation of our deck in record time, since it didn't have to be squeezed in on weeknights and weekends only. We are so grateful that we had planned this project in advance - both because of the good timing for him to do it and the finances required to complete it. I'm tellin' ya, if you don't follow the Dave Ramsey plan for budgeting and managing your money, our gang is a PERFECT testimony of why you should! We don't do it perfectly but losing his income didn't not derail this project financially. And that's particularly awesome considering that we had demo'd the deck in early May when we had some help available to do so. Living without a deck and all that mess out there all summer would have been SUCH a huge and ugly problem for this pool lovin' gang.

Isn't it so inviting?

Come on by, the iced tea is cold and the pool is warm!

And of course, the "Honey Do" list has gotten a lot of attention since the deck was completed. Little niggling tasks that we have been meaning to "get around to," things that we have needed to repair, re-decorate, or refresh, and so on. Those smaller projects are all getting checked off the list as the days go on. He is a putter-er by nature so while he does miss the routine and structure of a work day (eh, who am I kidding, he doesn't miss it yet), he is really enjoying the time to do all this physical labor and spruce up the house and the yard.

Finally, I'm getting to tackle some projects that I've had on my mental To Do list for a long while now. I mean, Daddy is BETTER than a babysitter and he's free for afternoon swim parties. So I've tucked myself away a couple times to sort through mountains of school papers and projects from the last two school years. I purged my closet and dresser. I went through my jewelry box for the first time in probably 3 years. I even got to go through 4 bags of hand-me-downs within three days of receiving them - a record in this zoo lately! I've been sorting, streamlining, cleaning out, and yes, I'm back to writing. A slow and easy start, but I'm back.

The extra bonus of the swim time with Daddy is that Mei Mei is really acclimating to the pool quite well and coming along in leaps and bounds in her ability to trust Daddy and the big sibs in the water. AND she has slept through the night pretty much every single night for more than 3 weeks now. All that sleep has drastically improved her day-time behavior (and mine). AND her language is just exploding recently. She lightens the mood around here daily with the new things she is learning to say and the mimicry she pulls out at the funniest moments! We can't get over what a difference we are seeing in her, now that her surgeries are over and her body has come to its resting place of her new normal. It's really quite remarkable and I know The Boss has enjoyed being here to see the daily little transformations that are yielding a happier more settled and peaceful little Mei Mei.

Mei Mei turned THREE at the beginning of the summer.

Actually, the night before Dr. D left.
This is her cheesey smile on her new Kai Lan bike.

So. It's a different summer than we had imagined or planned for ourselves. And a very different kind of productivity than we had envisioned. But we're finding the new groove to it and I'm working on appreciating the time we have as a family as much as I can without worrying too much about the job leads and paychecks and insurance issues. THAT kind of worry messes with my momentum in serious ways. I'm finding it to be an hourly choice to alternatively focus my attention. It's not easy and while I do enjoy that he and I are getting these tasks done with unusual (for us) timing and focus, I do have to work to not camp in the worry-tent. I guess I can be thankful for that - it's keeping me sharp and on my spiritual knees at the very least.

It's different. I'm working to find the good in this kind of different.

Good Bye Kitty

It's a super sad day for The Gang. Today, The Boss took our diva kitty girl, Maggie, to be put to sleep.

It's been a long hard road for her these last 10 months. She started having seizures back in September of last year. Each month they've gotten progressively more intense and more difficult from which to recover. Around January or so, she started losing control of her bladder with almost every seizure. And then in March or April, she started to have lingering temporary paralysis of her hindquarters after almost every one. By May we knew we were looking at having to make a pro-active decision about ending her life humanely. In addition to the sadness of the condition and the unsanitary nature of losing control of her faculties, we knew that the increase in frequency during day time hours likely meant she was having seizures at night and when we weren't around to witness them. That's no way for my girl to live.

This week, she had what seemed to be the "mother" of all seizures to date. It was terrifying for us all to watch. And we said, "enough."

But it made it NO easier to actually pack her up into her crate and send The Boss out the door to the local SPCA to carry out our joint decision. In fact, since Tuesday, she's been so "normal" and affectionate and interactive that we really were second-guessing ourselves right up until he walked out the door this morning.

Please indulge me while I take a look back at my diva kitty girl. She was a gift to our little growing family and tolerated the many changes of 17 years with grace. Such a tolerant kitty - two big moves, four additional kids, and countless bonnets, blankets, and stroller rides. She never understood that she was "too big" to be a lap cat and though she permanently stopped lounging in my lap shortly after I got pregnant with LadyBug, she was a regular on The Boss's lap every night after the gang headed off to bed. These last months, she couldn't always make it up to the couch but settled at our feet or on the low ottoman for some late night foot-warming. She will be missed.

 First days home, in June 1997, at only 8 weeks old.

Her favorite perch when "play time" with Shaggy and Dr. D

(almost 3 and 18 mos at the time)
got to be too much stimulation and she needed a kitty nap.

One of her favorite perches in this past year,

tucked away in a corner but still in the middle

of The Gang's activity.

A tearful good-bye for this momma.

Beautiful girl, you will be missed.

April 26, 1997 - July 11, 2014

************************************************************

I can't believe this is what jumpstarted my blogging brain again. But at least SOMETHING has. Man, the drought of coherent thought around here has been a drag. Stay tuned, I have some catching up to do in this "family scrap book" of mine and some give-aways coming up soon, too.

Julia Learns How To Vote Wisely

Purchase the book here!

Since we are heading into primary season in our region, I thought it would be timely to share this story with you and offer you my thoughts on this great little book that was sent to me by a friend of the author. {sheepishly admitting that it was QUITE a while ago}

This darling little book is full of Scriptural advice, simple explanations and engaging illustrations as little Julia walks through the month before a big election. As a momma to three very fashion-minded girls, I especially enjoyed the cover illustration of Julia in her too-cool-for-school voting ensemble!

The story starts with Julia's bedtime conversations with Mom about what the family will be doing for the coming month. Her parents open up a lovely age-appropriate dialogue and spend the whole month sharing their basic principles for civic responsibility. I loved, particularly, that the message was boiled down to this: Seek Biblical Truth first. Then seek and pray for a candidate that you feel most closely represents the Biblical Truth in which you believe. It really honed the focus down to God's Word and HIS heart for the privilege that we have as citizens to use our voice in the election process.

As I read through the story and conversations that Julia and her sisters have with their parents, I appreciated anew the simplicity of a citizen's participation in the process and the importance of choosing wisely. I also really liked that the book doesn't tell Julie WHAT to believe, only that she must consider what The Word says and that she need only measure the issues she faces against the standard of that Word to find the answers she seeks. That's such a great lesson for our kids - beyond even the message of how to vote.

I really enjoyed the book and Li'l Empress enjoyed the idea that her voice will "count" some day when she gets the privilege to vote. I've always made an effort to include my kids in the conversations of election seasons and usually bring them into the voters' booth with me. This book helped "pull it all together" for Li'l Empress when we voted together last fall.

If you are a politics-junkie or news-junkie like I am, or if you are looking for additional resources with which to teach your children about the election process, this great little book is for you! And if you are a home-schooling family looking for another resource for your civics or social studies curriculum, I even more highly recommend the story.

*I was sent this book free of charge in exchange

for a fair and honest evaluation.

An Unwelcome House Guest

It's been pretty quiet here in my little corner of the blogosphere. I know. We've been in a hard season with things. This season has been exhausting. Frustrating. Desperate. Isolating. Painful. Exhausting. Draining. The pace of our household has hardly relented in deference to the hard season. It couldn't.

I can tell you exactly when it started.

Let me tell you the story.

In early December, Trauma came to visit. He snuck into the house, bringing Control, Anxiety, and Fear with him. They are the kind of house guest that rolls into your pretty little guest room unannounced. The kind of house guest that brings his unpleasant friends stowed away in his suitcase before you can even process that his suitcase has been tossed on your guest bed. On the good linens no less. They are the kind of house guest the adage speaks of: "Company and fish start to stink after three days."

Let me tell you, it stunk way sooner than three days.

It seems as if Mei Mei's first surgery brought Trauma out of hiding. It's totally understandable and we knew to expect it from lots of previous experiences - Trauma lurks in those hospitals for lots of kids. Kids from great, loving, nurturing beginnings. Kids from hard places. Kids with serious sicknesses. Kids with simple playground accidents. But it really feels like he was waiting for her in that room. Hiding under that oh-so-institutional crib cage. Hovering under the ugly, rough blankets.

Worse, he felt it necessary to follow her home from the hospital. He toyed with her, making a game of randomly waking her. He got his buddy to help. Fear clutched at her throat. Trauma whipped Control into a frenzy of raging tantrums over peanut butter and jelly sandwiches that weren't cut "just so." He'd whisper in Anxiety's ear a teensy little musing, thus starting the "Telephone Game" of insecurities repeated and grossly warped beyond recognition by the time they got to my girl's ear. It took us a few weeks of muscling through our own sleep deprivation and the dirty laundry of these unwelcome guests to figure out that they thought they were here to stay.

When the awareness took root that these weren't visitors, but squatters, The Boss and I dug into our bag of spiritual warfare tactics and started making things very uncomfortable for these intruders. It's been hard work, this remediation of the damage they sought to inflict. It's taken all of our energies. Certain Fruits of the Spirit have gotten extra work-outs, through the muddle of sleep deprivation.

{Really, moms, isn't the irregular sort of sleep deprivation the worst kind of all? I think I could probably get used to 4-5 hours of sleep if that was the new norm. But 8 hours, then 4, then 6 then 4 again? Oh.MY.WORD.}

Scripture is being spoken, sung, hummed, and prayed. The new rocking chair is logging many, many miles. Old hymns of Truth and Promise are being called to mind, used as lullabies, even if the verses are mixed up and tunes are badly mangled. The security and anchor of The Word that my folks encouraged me to memorize and sink deeply into my heart as a young believer are pouring out when I'm too tired to coherently put together my own prayer.

Practical things had to be tended to, to aid the eviction of the unwanted tenants. So January was spent re-establishing household routines and my beloved systems. (Gasp! Yes, even I was shocked at how long it took me to get back on that bandwagon I so love!) I grocery shopped multiple times between snow storms. I baked and cooked whenever the snow dumped on us, and we were snowed in. Menu planning, preparation of the daily dinner, and laundry days all were re-instituted. Many days those tasks were literally ALL that I could handle. But handle them I did. Anxiety had no choice but to pipe down in the wake of the loud, proud boasting of permanence and structure that our return to routines gave. I much prefer when Security and Confidence hang out with my gang, don't you?

February was focused on establishing some kind of social schedule for the little extroverted Mei Mei and her extrovert momma. Too many unstructured days staying home all day gave Trauma and Control way too much freedom to wreak their havoc. Play dates here at home and busy mornings out to do our errands made way for Joy, Cooperation, and Peace to hang out with us. It continues to amaze to me just HOW much of an extrovert this little girl is!

And while we aren't certain that Trauma has left the building just yet, we do feel as if he's recognized that his days are numbered. When he slinks off into the darkness and muck from whence he came, he will have no choice but to pack up his traveling mates with him. The foundation upon which we have built our home has made Trauma's stay an uncomfortable one and he's learning that we cannot, WILL NOT co-habitate with him.

Since our name is on the mortgage, he's the one that's got to go.

Special thanks to my lovely friend, Amelia.

Her keen eye for detail, spiritual wisdom,

and excellent writing skills

helped me pull this metaphor

together with far more eloquence

and consistency of voice

than I am capable of in this hard season!

Moments. {two weeks}

It turns out, I was right in feeling {unprepared} for all that the last two weeks have held for this gang. Until you've lived through something like this, there's really no way you can fully prepare for the experience. EVEN if you have the most awesome support network of "been there done that" mommas sharing their experiences and advice. EVEN if you have an amazing crowd of friends and family praying you through and supporting you practically and emotionally. Which, I am so grateful to say, I do. But still. {unprepared} I was.

I'm not gonna lie. These last two weeks since Mei Mei's surgery have been hard. The day of the surgery, frankly, was likely the easiest of the days that we had while IN the hospital. (We waited. She slept. And oddly, I only felt momentary flashes of nervous anxiety over her care or well-being. SO. SO. grateful for that.)

And just this past Saturday we finally experienced the easiest day-into-overnight since we returned home from our four day stay. In between those good days, we've crammed all kinds of hard moments. Sleepless nights. Night terrors. Temper tantrums. Pain management gone awry. Lost patience. Ugly behavior. And not all of it was Mei Mei.

But in between those good days, we've also crammed a lot of really great moments. Those are the moments on which I am (sometimes hourly) choosing to focus. Those are the moments that the Lord uses to swing my eyes back to HIM and HIS perfect plan for Mei Mei. For our family. It's an act of discipline, this choosing to focus. Especially at this time of year.

Mei Mei got the honor of placing the first ornament
on her first-ever Christmas tree. Yes, I cried.

I could (and am sorely tempted to) stress over the anger and aggression that comes bubbling up out of her in those difficult moments. I could keep looking at that "holiday To Do list" that isn't getting smaller any time soon and despair of ever finishing it in time. I could sink into the flashing moments of Mommy-guilt and inadequacy, wallowing in the fear that I'm not meeting the needs of the other gang members, in the every day and in the fervor of the holiday. I could, I could, I could. And really, I've struggled NOT to.

But then there are these other moments. These moments when HE comes to me and whispers to my heart. Snippets of Scripture memorized as a child. Refrains of songs and hymns buried deep in my heart. I've said it before but it bears repeating. In these moments, I am so incredibly grateful for parents who trained me in The Word. Who taught me to seek His face in good and in bad moments. Who encouraged me and lived out the example that joy comes NOT in the circumstances but in the confidence and security of being HIS CHOSEN CHILD. It has carried me well in these last two weeks.

First cookie decorating party ever! Not sure how much icing went on the cookies.
Last year, only 3 of our kids were home for this tradition.
This year, The Gang was ALL here. Yes, I cried.

I am convinced, in all of these moments, both hard and healing, that the prayers of the Body of Christ carried us. I am convinced that His Word is powerful and full of Truth that rises above the difficult moments. I am convinced, now more than ever, that HE HAS CHOSEN ME for this time. For this child. For even in those moments where I feel like I'm failing miserably at all of it, He speaks to me. In those moments when I wonder if my inadequate and all-too human response to my daughter's broken-ness is doing more damage than good, He offers me HIS response.

It's those moments when I get the second wind to go just a little deeper into her heart. It's those moments when I get a fresh fire to escort her to the healing He has for her. Those moments, even the hardest of moments, I remember that they are just that: moments. By definition, moments (both hard and exultant) are fleeting. He is not. He holds those moments. Each and every one of them.

{unprepared}

today we are heading to a local children's hospital for the first in what will hopefully be just a couple repair procedures for our little mei mei.

it's a pretty big repair. big surgery. big changes.

i'm feeling quite unprepared for what all of this means.

when we left for china to meet mei mei, i had charts, graphs, lists, and calendars filled out, crossed off, and in process. every t was crossed. every i was dotted.

this afternoon, i'm still not sure who's getting whom where and when while i'm at the hospital and the boss is in and out of the office and the house.

when we left for china, i had meals labeled and frozen, groceries purchased, and all the school lunch supplies stockpiled.

this afternoon, i'm pretty sure there's not enough drink pouches in the pantry and the jury is still out on whether or not the milk in the fridge will last past wednesday.

when we left for china, i had laundry totally caught up and every one knew what day was "their" laundry day.

heh. who am i kidding? my laundry system has been out of whack since we returned from china.

when we left for china, i had an itinerary from the agency. i knew what day we'd meet mei mei. i knew what day we'd finalize the adoption. i knew what day we'd tour and when we'd travel on to guangzhou.

today, all i am sure of is we are checking in to the hospital before 6 p.m. surgery begins around 10 a.m. monday morning. the unknown of all the other moments surrounding those two points is starting to freak me out.

and really, that's the core, right there. the unknowns. that's the stuff for which i really feel so unprepared.

from the moment we enter that building, we are facing the beginning of a brand new normal. for us. for mei mei.

all weekend long, really for weeks now, i've been reminding myself that my prepared-ness, or distinct lack thereof, is not really all that important.

what's really important is that i worship THE ONE who holds it all in HIS hands. that HE is never caught unprepared.

and that's enough preparation for me.

it has to be.

I Need (Her) Nap

"Bah, Bah" she mumbles as she sleepily grabs her dolly and sighs while I lift her in my arms. The first two fingers of her left hand find their way into her mouth and she fumbles at the sleeve covering my magic left arm. She fusses and vocalizes her displeasure at not being able to reach my bare skin and I soothe her while I climb the stairs to her room.

We say "Nigh Nigh" to the neighborhood out the front window and shut the shades "together." I turn on the humidifier and shut the bedroom door with a little "help" from my girl. Together, we cross the room and settle down into the creaky old glider-rocker. Her efforts to get at my bare left arm renew and I soothe her again while I push up the sleeve as best I can. This long-sleeve season is NOT her friend.

As soon as she has free access to the kryptonite that is my left arm, she snuggles into the crook of my arm, She lays full length across my midriff and rubs her cheek in the soft crook of my elbow contentedly while starting her "snuggle hum." Those two fingers are getting quite a work-out and after finding her perfect spot, the little feet at the other end start to wiggle.

"Okay, Mei Mei, let's pray. Dear Jesus ("Jee-yah"), thank you for today ("day"). Thank you for .... Amen. (happy grunting ensues)."

"Mei Mei, now that we are done praying, it's time for you to be quiet and go to sleep."

"Tay."

In a matter of seconds, those little feet are rubbing up against my right shoulder. She's quite agile and attempts to stick her toes in my hair. By this time, I have already begun to sing our rotation of "night night" songs and hymns and she's joining along in her (also) off-key snuggle hum again. As she settles into the crook of my arm and her breathing slows, I turn to humming these songs. The rotation of songs is almost always the same. I know it's not the greatest attachment parenting practice, but lately I've taken to humming with my eyes closed and my head resting back to avoid the eye contact that will spark attempts at conversation. Because, as we've learned the hard way, CONVERSE she will! (Plus, I'm exhausted. Like 45-year-old momma chasing a 2-year-old exhausted.)

Several rounds of "Amazing Grace," "Jesus Loves Me," "It is Well," and "What a Friend We Have in Jesus" later, her snuggle hum has subsided and sweet sleep has taken over my girl. She's still. And quiet. Oh, so blessedly quite. It's a beautiful thing, watching her drift to sleep out of the peeks that I allow myself as her weight relaxes in my arms. I love holding her while she relinquishes all her grasps at control. All her super-human efforts to communicate and Tell! Me! what she's thinking. All her energies of creating elaborate playtime scenarios and her invitations to her dolls and toys to join the fun. It's no wonder she falls asleep so hard and deep.

This daily nap-time routine has become a cherished break in my day. And not just for the obvious "Mommy needs the break" relief that washes over me at 1 p.m. every afternoon. (You all can "Amen!" me here, I know you all get!) I know that the resulting sleep is so good for her. Her two-year old self needs the rest, physically and mentally. It's hard work being a super busy toddler with  big world to explore. Nap time gives her the rest her body needs.

But the sleep that comes on the heels of this little routine of ours is, in my mind, almost a secondary benefit. The routine itself is just as necessary to this little one as is the actual sleep that follows. The connecting and anchoring that happens with the same-ness of this daily touch point does as much, if not more, to refresh and renew her spirit. And mine... The predictability of the walk up the stairs, the routine of the gentle rocking and my (off-key) singing. This routine is a tangible keystone in her (still) new life whereby she is granted a safe place to re-charge after the long mornings of making sense of this world into which she's been plunked with no warning and no preparation. She needs it.

I need it.

I need the stop in my day that makes me REMEMBER that she needs more of me. She needs me differently than my other kids did at this age and stage. Than they do now. She needs the reinforcement of external routines that speak to her loudly of our perseverance. Our commitment to her. The "forever-ness" of it all. She craves the consistency and the structure that moments like this routine provide to her. I see what unpredictability produces in her. And sometimes, it is not pretty. It sparks a grasping for control. An anxious stealing of attention, no matter how negative. A screeching stranglehold on the security that we are trying to lay as her foundation.

I've noticed that when I don't STOP, when I don't use that routine together as fully what it can be for her, I'm short-circuiting myself and my efforts to re-wire my girl for family (vs. institution). I'm cutting myself off from the opportunity for success. I need that time to re-focus on compassionate responses and facilitating healing. Holding her, singing over her and rocking her in my arms - that routine that (most days!) makes me fall in love with her all over again. And that? That makes me ready to move mountains to get this girl all that she needs to thrive and build on in the process of becoming all God has intended her to be.

I need her nap.

Fanning The Flames

I think I might have neglected to mention this to ya'll: Dr. D has spent the last ten days in Alaska! How cool is that?! He is part of a ministry work team that was sent by our home church to go and support the work of Last Frontiers Ministries. As soon as we knew about the trip, we just KNEW that this was something he had to do. And from the reports that have been trickling in for these last days, we weren't wrong. It's been awesome to hear things like "killer work ethic" and "in his element" and "awesome team work" from him and from the other folks with whom he has been serving. Makes a momma's heart proud!

His most recent status update on F@ceb**k alluded to his love of the beautiful land and the fact that he could see himself going back and settling there. Heh. Imagine how much this momma loved hearing that! I assigned one of the team members the special task of being 100% certain that Dr. D gets on that plane and comes home to his momma. The team arrives home tonight and we cannot wait to hug him and hear all about his adventures!

But seriously, what a blessing to be able to launch him off to something that is so life-changing and at the same time, so RIGHT UP HIS ALLEY! I love that God takes such joy in the way He wired my boy AND that He crafted an opportunity like this one for Dr. D to learn more about His Great Love and His plan for his life. As I'd mentioned in my previous post about his enlistment, we've known from a very young age that God had a very creative and unique wiring built into our boy's heart. This trip and the kind of ministry that it offered, with its brand of teamwork and its type of practical ministry (like digging trenches, weatherizing, and other construction projects), set in that rugged environment are indeed integral to the man that Dr. D is becoming. I'm not sure I would have known this as a young mom, but I gotta tell ya: as the mom to two almost-adult young men, one of the most exciting things I get to experience is their steps into that plan and the path that sets them off to pursuing it. I'm so proud, I could burst open with it!

This is now the second short-term missions project one of our Gang has done and I have to say, we are hooked! The benefits AND the lessons that these experiences bring to their lives are really invaluable. Early in our marriage, The Boss and I both did a couple short-term experiences (as staff) with our former youth ministry so we knew that it was something we'd incorporate into our bag of parenting tricks. We are anxious to see what opportunities will be available when LadyBug is ready to venture out.  And we are SUPER excited about a potential trip that The Boss is hoping to take this coming March, ministering in a manner that is very near and dear to our hearts. I'm equally excited about what his experience on that trip will speak to our kids as they watch him prepare and hear about it when he returns. Fanning the flames of ministry in our kids' hearts by exposing them to all different kinds of opportunities to serve around the world is a really fun part of being the Momma to this Gang He's given us!

As soon as Dr. D has settled back in and we get our family debriefing out of the way, I'll be sure to share more about the trip and some of the pictures various team members have shared. Who knows, maybe he'll be excited enough to "guest blog" a photo post?! Until then, here's a sneak peek at a pic my brother-in-law shared with us.

In the meantime, if you are the momma to a little one OR a teen, consider including a short-term missions trip in your family's "curriculum" for launching them to adulthood. You won't be sorry - it's a priceless life-changing experience!

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If you want to hear more about some of the experiences and resources to which we are connected, I'd be happy to share! Leave me a comment or shoot me an email and I'll be in touch!

Happy Birthday, America!

Oh.My.Word. I can hardly believe it's the 4th of July already. At the risk of sounding trite and cliched, seriously: Where did the month of June go?! I have so much to catch up on and will have to do some backing up of events like the end of the school year, Mei Mei's birthday, and all things momentous. I've mentioned before that Mei Mei does NOT tolerate me sitting at my desktop very well and it really hasn't gotten better. When she's awake, I'm hustling to get something done around here and clean up the messes and STUFF she gets into while trying to "hep" me. And when she's asleep, I'm trying to finish all that I started when she's awake. Or I'm crashing in exhaustion myself. This little one is a spunky little busybody and she seriously is never ever still. Even in her sleep, her little toes and fingers are in motion. Which I know because she's spent the last four mornings in bed with me, snuggled in to go back to sleep after waking at o'dark thirty. Oh.MY.WORD! Anyhoo, that's my disclaimer going in... more to come on other big stuff later!

**********************************

This year, the 4th of July is taking on some new meaning for The Gang. It's now forever linked with an important anniversary that we will always mark as a family. Yesterday, our son, known here as Dr. D, enlisted in the U.S. Army Reserves. It's been a long time coming, as he's been praying, researching, and meeting with recruiters of various branches of the armed services since January. But truthfully, it's a calling and a path that The Boss and I have seen growing within our boy since he was a very young child. We are very excited and proud of his single-minded focus to figure out what was the best path for his career and at the same time, nervous and concerned about what this choice means for his life. But this has been in his blood a long, long time and we know God has great plans for whatever twists and turns this path will unfold along the way.

Dr. D has an unusually developed sense of honor, justice and loyalty to country and there's no doubt that he's been deeply affected by world events in his 17 years of life, when viewed through those lenses. I so enjoy listening to his heart, full of idealism and pride in what our nation means to him. I love that he gets legitimately upset at those around him who fail to summon proper respect when the Pledge of Allegiance is spoken at school or other events. His pride in our flag, his respect and honor for the men and women who serve the armed services around him, the rapt attention he pays to his grandfather's stories of their own service, all of it speaks of a deep identification and camaraderie that he is now so excited to be a part of. When he arrived home yesterday after the trip out to Ft. Dix for his official enlistment event, he was beaming. We've always known that he is a kid who NEEDS to identify with a cause or a purpose bigger than himself, and it's a point of great pride for us both that he has found his niche. This niche.

And just like that, I've got a new label to add to my own resume.... As a dear friend mentioned to me on FB yesterday, I'm now a military mom. I even get my own bumper sticker for my van that says so!

Here's some pics of our little attempts at home to honor Dr. D since we couldn't be with him for the actual enlistment ceremony. He was surprised that we did all this for him, but really, he should know me better than that by now! This momma does love to celebrate, especially something so amazing for one of my gang!

Here he is, the newest soldier to join the ranks the U.S. Army.

And just because no celebration of America's birthday

would be complete without a picture (or two!) 

of the cutest little new citizen in town, I give you these!

MWAH! Happy Birthday, America!!!!

I love my new country!

"Daddy's Sweetheart"

and an

"American Cutie"

It just doesn't get better than that!

Astounded

For about a week now, Mei Mei has been walking around the house "singing" this repetitive set of sounds that made me sit up and take notice. It really sounded like she was trying to sing SOMETHING, I just didn't know what!

When I took the time to just sit and watch her while she was singing, I was astounded! See, the last several weeks have been full of evaluations, consultations, and doctors' reports that have been hard to wade through. Information has been flowing like a rushing river, about her cognitive abilities, her emotional/social abilities, medical needs, speech and language skills, and more. While not all of it has been difficult to hear and certainly not all of it has been "bad news" it has still been quite overwhelming.

{At this point, I must give huge props to our International Adoption Clinic at Children's Hospital of Philadelphia - they did an excellent job of thoroughly preparing us for all the ranges of the needs listed within Mei Mei's file and then some. Nothing we've heard has been a surprise, even if some things have been slightly more complicated or critical in the ranges of needs than we'd hoped. If you are preparing to adopt, please, please, please look into a clinic such as this one - the information and preparation for your heart and mind and your family's plans is invaluable!}

I've watched her for a couple days now and almost every time she's "singing" she's also sitting in her little rocking chair, either holding her baby or raising her arms up in the air with her eyes squinting shut and her head swaying in time to the rhythm in her head. When I figured out what the repetitive sweet sounds likely are and I realized what it is that is washing over her heart and mind, coming out as "yeaaaaa, yeeeee aaaaaa yuuuuuuuu yeeeeee" I was, again, astounded!

She's singing "Jesus Loves Me."

She's not just singing a song. She's re-creating our time together in the rocking chair at each nap time and bed time when I sing this song and a few others to her before settling into her crib for some much needed sleep. That she's making that connection and imitating it, after only 6 weeks home and probably only 4 weeks of such a regulated routine is nothing short of astounding. That she's often taking it one step further and pretending to worship or to rock her baby to sleep like Momma rocks her to sleep just about brings me to my knees.

THIS is the good stuff of adoption, my friends.

There are many, many hard things about parenting a child from traumatic beginnings. And trust me, as we've been fleshing out the (very likely) details that led to Mei Mei coming home to our Gang, we've realized anew that there have likely been some pretty traumatic experiences in our girl's short little life. To have her HOME, HAPPY, (mostly) HEALTHY, and SINGING her little heart out like this is more of a gift than even I imagined when we were waiting to get to her. And that's comin' from a Momma who has "been there done that" once before. I was (mostly) prepared for the difficult surprises that might come our way - these happy ones still take me off guard sometimes!

{Again, big plug for a great international adoption clinic that has a wide base of information and professional experiences with which to help us piece her story together with the "most likely scenarios" to fill in some of the blanks!}

I posted a link to this article earlier today on my F@cebook page. I put off reading it for a couple days after I first found it because I knew it would be a hard read considering all the transition and anchoring we are settling ourselves into these days. I wasn't wrong. It was a hard read. But also a really good read. Some great reminders for me to step it up in a few areas and some encouragement for the road ahead. Not just for Mei Mei but for Li'l Empress too.

Despite the hard stuff that can come with parenting my little treasure from Ch!na, there are moments that I look at her, rocking in that little chair, singing her heart out. And I'm astounded at the gift she is.

"OOOOOPS! You caught me, Mommy!

And yes, I changed all your settings. Have fun fixing them!"

On a side note: 

I've tried and tried to video Mei Mei "singing" 

but as the resident ham of the house,

each time she sees the camera come out,

she changes up what she's doing

and I keep missing the purity of the moment.

Hence, the surprised look on her face

in the picture above: total surprise mixed with

sheepish recognition of a "no no" behavior! :)

Sister Love

This is what I saw the other day

when the living room got mysteriously quiet.

I'm SO glad I tip-toed in

and peeked around the corner to investigate!

And yesterday, in the car on the way to another round

of testing and studies for Mei Mei,

I had heard her fussing and then quiet reigned.

When I turned around, this is what I saw.

It's taken a bit of time, but I love that we've reached the point where there are more pleasant and loving interactions between these two than there are jealous or unhappy moments. Li'l Empress has had some bouts of insecurity and emotional overload in the process but I think she's settling back in. As expected, the struggles have been mainly on Li'l Empress' side of things, as she's worked through the adjustment of becoming a Big Sister after years of being the baby of the family. The bigger gang members have been awesome at making sure that Li'l Empress knows she is just as loved and cherished as ever. It's been really sweet to see them all working through the adjustment together. And the evidence that Li'l Empress and Mei Mei are falling in love with each other is there for all to see.

Now, when Mei Mei stumbles and falls on the toys in the family room, Li'l Empress is the first to rush and get the boo-boo bear for her baby sister. And when Li'l Empress came in from the yard this week, crying over a perceived offense, Mei Mei would not leave her side and watched the proceedings with great concern. She even tried to hug her and kept patting her arm while Li'l Empress calmed down.

Early on in the "re-entry" process, Li'l Empress came to me in tears and through her hiccuping and sobbing, informed me that she thought we probably brought home "the wrong Mei Mei." Because this one was mean and not sharing her toys at all. And "she hit me with the dolly!"  I tried very hard to take her seriously at that moment, and address her concerns and validate her feelings. I helped her understand that baby behavior wasn't the same as "the wrong Mei Mei" coming home, but was something we'd all have to model and work through with Mei Mei. I reminded Li'l Empress that when she first came home, she hit the kids, too. And she was even known to bite them once in a while. That it was all normal "baby" behavior and her job was to teach Mei Mei how to be part of our family by showing a good and loving example. I got her calmed down and able to pray with me. But man, oh, day, I was cracking up inside. I couldn't believe that she was calling up prayers from LAST YEAR at this time, when we were still asking as a family for the Lord to give us clear leading and direction to the "right Mei Mei;" the one that He had chosen for our family. OMIGOSH - this kid has a memory like NOBODY'S business!

I know there will be seasons, ebbs & flows if you will, of this relationship as it grows and builds, but this week's little vignettes brought such joy to my heart and I've so enjoyed the peace and promise captured in each little picture. I am so confident that the moving forward will continue to be productive and full of sweetness even in the hard moments. I count it an immeasurable gift, that God would grant the blessing of sisterhood to my girls. No matter the age span between them, they have friends for life in each other!

Here's one from last weekend,

in which all three girls were

hamming it up with Daddy's iPhone.

I love this. And can't wait to see

differing versions of it as the years fly by.

(Oh, God. Please don't let the years fly by. Pretty please?!)

Building a Foundation

My parents came to a personal relationship with the Lord in the mid-70's. At that time and through the majority of the 80's, much of the praise & worship in their circles was Scripture put to music - straight from The Word. Choruses were simple and the quotes were often from The King James version of The Bible. I loved learning new songs: the lyrics were poetic and appealed to my poetry-writing heart. The many repetitions we sang sunk both the songs and the verses from which they came deep into my heart and mind.

It's a gift I treasure, particularly in the hard times of life. I feel His faithfulness and love for me when a song floods my heart, specific to the situation I'm facing, washing my thoughts with The Word. Being able to sing out, and thus stand on the promises and the declarations of His character and His commitment to me, has carried me in some very difficult times. I've shared here before how much I love the old hymns of my faith, for much the same reason. The bedrock that The Word put to music provides in my life is a comfort, a foundation, a keystone.

The other day, as I was rocking Mei Mei to sleep, I was singing and humming my favorite hymn, "Great Is Thy Faithfulness" as we snuggled together. Out of seemingly nowhere, the Lord brought an old chorus to my mind. I can't even say I was really searching for a new song to sing, though the minute I "heard" the tune in my head, I knew HE had just been waiting to give it to me again. I've been singing it all week long. I love the way He quickened it to me, wrapping me in His love and giving me another tool by which to sing her life verse over her day after day. I love that for years now I have had this verse memorized and buried deep into my heart. That I now have the privilege of delivering it to her little heart and mind. This is a bedrock verse for her life and I get to actively build that foundation of His love and His mercy for her each time we sit in my rocking chair to snuggle before bed and nap times.

Isn't He so good? What a gift, to be able to so directly speak to my daughter's heart.

The Steadfast Love Of The Lord

by Robert Davidson

"The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases

His mercies never come to an end.

They are new every morning,

New every morning

Great is Thy faithfulness, O Lord!

Great is Thy faithfulness"

Redeeming and Redefining.

Over the 6 years we've been part of the adoption community, I've had a lot of time to learn and think about the good, the bad, and the ugly of adoption. A lot of time to mourn the broken-ness of our world at large and the losses in Li'l Empress' and Mei Mei's little worlds that brought us all together. To think and pray about how God would have us intentionally go about redeeming that broken-ness and loss. It's not the easy part of adoption to dwell upon but I've chosen to "go there" in order to more fully understand and thus be more available to participate in my daughters' healing and growing.

Yesterday, as the household was returning to the normal week-day routine, Mei Mei was bewildered by all the activity. After all, the first two days since she's been home we've spent largely on the couch or on the floor together, propping our eyes open with toothpicks and watching her play with the kids. (It's actually kind of amazing how quickly she has gotten used to having an older sibling at her beck and call during the waking hours of her day!) But yesterday she was noticeably unsettled. It took me a while to catch on, as I was puttering around the kitchen and reveling in my coffee.

First, Dr. D left. She kept reaching for him but didn't really cry.

About half an hour later, LadyBug was ready to catch her bus. Mei Mei didn't want to be put down but LadyBug toughed it out and said good-bye while Mei Mei cried a little bit.

Then I ran up to hop in the shower while The Boss supervised Baby BlueEyes and Li'l Empress as they prepared for their day. The Boss walked them out to the bus and the good-byes were likely more painful for BBE and Li'l E than they were for Mei Mei, as she was busy taking in the big yellow thing and the fresh air and green trees all around her.

Twenty minutes later, The Boss put on his coat and started doling out the hugs and kisses. He was trying to say good-bye and she was having no part of it. We walked him out to his car and she was crying like her little heart was breaking. Reaching for him, calling "Baba!" and arching her back to get out of my arms. It was pitiful. Just so sad. 

To her, this was another good-bye. In a long line of good-byes over these last two weeks.

I've been particularly mindful of all the good-byes we've been logging since we met her.

Good-bye to the nannies in her orphanage. Who likely doted on her, as reports indicate that she was a favorite with her charming little smile and teasing sense of humor.

Good-bye to the orphanage - the only home she knew from about 2 weeks old, for 21 months.

Good-bye to the familiar sights, smells, and sounds of those 21 months of her life.

Good-bye to the familiar routine and rhythm of her daily life.

Then, good-bye to our guide in Beijing, with whom she thoroughly enjoyed flirting and teasing.

Good-bye to the hotel room where she had just started to feel noticeably confident and secure.

Good-bye to an environment where her emerging baby-babble actually made sense to the Mandarin-speaking folks around her.

Good-bye to Beijing - on to Guangzhou.

Good-bye to yet another hotel, another city.

Good-bye to China.

Now a good-bye to all these great new playmates who jump when she says jump. And who sit right where she tells them too when playing the magnet game. Who fall all over themselves and each other to make her giggle, smile, or best of all, offer a rare kiss.

Worst of all, good-bye to that new, big man, that Baba who kept her safe on all those big moving vehicles she had to endure for the last two weeks. "Why, oh, why, are they making me say good-bye to him?!"

But as I was simultaneously giggling and empathizing with her pouty face and big crocodile tears and trying to soothe her little sobs, it hit me.

"This is the day we begin the process of redeeming all those losses. Today, she will learn, even if she forgets it tomorrow, that when the kids go away, they come back. When Baba leaves, Baba always comes back."

This is the day we get to redefine "good-bye" for our girl.

I can't promise either of  my daughters that they will never suffer loss or heartbreak now that they have been planted in our family forever. I can't promise them that the broken-ness that brought them to the place of adoption will go away and never touch their hearts or minds again.

But I can promise them that in this family, good-bye is not forever. Good-bye can also mean another opportunity for a joyful and loving celebration of "Hello again."

I held her tight against my heart and whispered in her ear, "Don't worry. Baba will be home later. He will come back soon. Baba always comes back home."

And I thanked the Lord that I get to be part of redeeming the losses for these two gifts He's given us to parent. It's a privilege and an honor that carries a huge responsibility - may I be mindful of it, no matter how good, bad, or ugly it gets in the process.

One Week

Wow. It's been a full week with our girl today. I can hardly believe it. On the one hand it feels like yesterday that this dream was just that - still a dream. And on the other, it feels like she's been with us forever. She's doing really well in the days since we met. She's very independent and opinionated but I am more so, so I am confident that I can out last that to teach her healthy dependence and loving relationship.

Remind me of that when we've been home awhile

and she's still not "getting" that the tantrums on the floor

don't wash with Momma. Heh.

Yesterday I was talking with Lily about why we were spoon-feeding an almost two year old, explaining that we were trying to "re-wire" her brain and her heart for a new understanding of "family." We want her to eventually grow to be a strong, confident woman who is able to care for herself fully, but we want it to come from the right place. A place of strength and healthy identity. Given the director's descriptions of how the healthy, capable children in the orphanage are encouraged to care for themselves, we want Mei Mei to know that she doesn't HAVE TO care for herself right now. That she has Momma and Baba and a bunch of big siblings who will help her and support her. We want her to be released from self-reliance and survival mode and live in the freedom of healthy dependence, healthy reliance on the people God has given her in this new life. Our intention is that this path will lead her to more fully and more easily trust in the unseen Father to provide all she needs.

Indeed, it is some big aspirations and hopes, but we know that God equips us and sustains us and we look forward to showing her and telling her in the years to come that HE is our source and our strength. I consider it an honor and privilege to be able to parent yet another little gift in the ways my parents taught me. I'm not sure that they ever dreamed that they'd have now 16, soon to be 17 grandbabies learning the lessons that they taught the four of us but isn't that the awesome thing about God's economy? He more than multiplies the blessing when we walk in His favor. I am so grateful that The Boss and I both come from a heritage of faith as the bedrock of our homes.

This adoption trip-hotel home-visit China bubble won't last much longer and I'm trying to enjoy it while I have it. When I think back to how long it took last Sunday for her to trust us enough just to change her diaper, and how sad her face was all that day and the next, I'm really humbled that I get to be part of her healing process, of her blossoming into the little girl God created her to be.

I wasn't laughing at her pain, honest.

I just couldn't get over how much hair she had.

One layer of clothing off, about three more to go.

Poor little thing was just so tense and stressed.

And sweaty. So, so sweaty.

We see her opening up a little more every day and what a privilege it is to be a part of that process. Her eyes are clearer, her smile comes very readily, and she's completely comfortable, even a little naughty (in a completely cute, impish sort of way!), in allowing us to care for her, even in her most vulnerable state. Our learning curve with her medical issues has been a bit steep but we are getting the hang of it and she's so far been very patient with us, now that she's not so wary of what we are doing.

Her health seems to be quite improved from our first day or two together. She is no longer coughing and rattling in her chest when she breathes. Her nose has stopped running and her color is excellent. In fact, we've had quite a few comments about her beautiful skin tone. She's pretty fair-skinned and her hair is very dark brown with only a few shades of jet black. Yesterday in the van, we were commenting that it's actually very similar in shade to Li'l Empress's hair. The texture is NOTHING like her sister's, leaning more toward thick and coarse than Li'l E's hair.

It's amazing to me, even having done this once before and having seen scores of friends experience the same journey, just what an incredible difference LOVE makes. What a treasure it is to be part of that, to have my own heart expanded yet again to take in this love that she is learning to give. Looking over this past week, I am brought low by the gift of being Momma to this gang of mine. All 6 of them.

One week later, Mei Mei was too busy waving to every passer-by

to smile for Baba's camera, as we walked through an ancient

Hutong village of Beijing.

A post on that tour will come later!

Living Hope International

Saturday was a really priceless experience for The Boss and I. We had the honor of spending all afternoon with Lily Fang and her daughter Elizabeth. For those who aren't familiar, Lily and her husband Samuel are the founders/directors of Living Hope Adoption Agency. This is our second adoption with LHAA and after 6 years of interactions, they really feel like family to us. Their passion for bringing families together by adoption has obviously touched our lives. But further than that, what I find most admirable about this family is the scope of their work through Living Hope International.

As you can tell, our itinerary has been a fairly flexible and loosely set one. We had originally planned to go to The Great Wall, in addition to visiting LHI, and join the other LHAA family that arrived on Thursday. But we felt that it would be too long a day for Mei Mei and that we would be pushing her too hard if we tried to keep up with the pace they had planned. It's a good thing because their plans all got changed and shifted by the orphanage from which their child was coming. So we still haven't met them but we rejoice that another little one has met her forever family as of Saturday evening! And not walking The Great Wall twice is no big deal - we're still among the few folks we know that can say we did it once!

As I was saying.... LHI is a beautiful training center for children who have no family that can raise them. Run by a large board of directors from all over the world, and headed up by Samuel Fang, this home focuses on educating them while giving them a place to live during the school year that is safe and provides for all their needs so that they can learn well. The kids are all given regular school curriculum, music lessons, language lessons, household chores, and vocational training when they are of age, all in a family-style atmosphere in the process. In the past, I've talked a lot here about LHI and what they do so it was a great treat to see their operation in person (again.)

Last summer, one of their campus sites was destroyed by flooding. A new location was imperative. And boy, did God provide big! So much so, in fact, that the facility that we toured in '08 has been combined into the site we saw today. This one houses about 40 school-aged kids, various staff members, and still has room for guests of the organization. In fact, The Boss and I had thought about staying on site but with the great distance and so many unknowns about Mei Mei's medical needs, we thought easier access within the city would be wiser for us.

Lily picked us up from the hotel on the way back from violin lessons for some of the children. It was such a treat to see a familiar face from home. We all joked that it is pretty sad that we have to travel all the way to China to spend the day with someone who literally lives just across our little town.

Once we arrived, the staff had a hearty lunch waiting for us. Mei Mei just ate, and ate, and ate. We couldn't believe it, especially since she had a late breakfast and a snack before Miss Lily arrived! They got a kick out of her and her very spunky (demanding!) insistence on "MORE!"

This is the cafeteria where everyone eats together

for all their meals.

There's also a big screen at the end that they

use for presentations and so on.

Shaggy, I just had to snap this picture of all the rice.

I know how much you love rice!

Then the staff, Elizabeth, and Lily took turns showing us around the campus. It was great to see Elizabeth "in her element" - she is such an engaging and mature young lady - I just know God has great plans for her!

Around this center "family room" they have a computer room, a conference room, a beautifully stocked library (YAY!), study rooms, and a nice open "family room" for group gatherings and movies together.

This "family room" is in the center of the main

building and offers lots of seating, a very large fish tank,

and a roomy place for "movie night" for the kids.

All of the classrooms, guest rooms, library and conference

rooms are on the perimeter of this center space.

This large tree-looking structure

used to be a fountain but they have it decorated

like a Christmas tree.

From this vantage point, the kitchen is off to the left.

This is the main entry to the center.

The courtyard out front is wide and spacious and

several boys were playing dodgeball when we drove in.

Wouldn't it be nice to see a basketball court set up at one end of it?!

As we were walking, I was asking Lily what LHI needs the most right now to keep functioning well and keep meeting the needs of even more children. Her response was so gracious and telling of the heart behind this organization: "We don't really need more things from America like clothes and so on. The kids have enough things." But she went on to share that they are regularly in need of prayers for protection and safety, as this new location is governed by officials who are not empathetic to the mission of the school. Further, they are in need of regular monthly support to be able to run the facility, afford the rent and expenses, and still pay for high quality, skilled staff members to train the children for productive adulthood. The lessons for violin, voice, and vocational training do not come cheaply but in this culture, they are vital to making sure that these kids leave this boarding home well prepared to support themselves and their families.

I promised Lily that we would indeed pray and that we would work to share the word about the physical needs of the organization. If any of this tugs at your heart and you feel led to support what Living Hope International is doing, please go to their website (CLICK HERE!) and check out what they are all about. You will be making an investment in the eternity of several young lives that could change the world!

Thank you, Lily and Elizabeth, 

for a fabulous day and for showing us

the amazing work you are doing there

at Living Hope International!