"Too Many Words"

"Too many words, Li'l Empress. Too many words."

It's an oft-repeated phrase here, particularly in the early morning hours before I've had my coffee. Before my eyes are fully opened and certainly before my brain has caught up to the fact that my body is vertical now. Really the only true morning person in our house, even The Boss has been heard shushing her with this quick reminder to go easy on the rest of The Gang.

Most days, she wakes happy and chatty. Very chatty. From the very moment her eyes flutter open. Chattering to herself quietly in her bed. Singing quietly into her pillow before her feet hit the floor. Thankfully, it's mostly all quiet enough not to disturb Mei Mei. Who does NOT wake quite so talkative. Happy, yes. But quiet. Blissfully quiet and snuggly. But once Li'l E comes down those stairs, it just doesn't stop.

We have to tell her, "too many words, Li'l Empress. Too many words."

When I'm well-caffeinated, awake, and it's a decent hour of the day, I can totally relate to my girl's verbosity. I'm known in my family for being the wordy one. I love words. I love learning and using new ones. I love talking with friends, sharing my thoughts, listening to what's going on in their minds, asking questions about their lives. I enjoy sharing a good story. I get really excited about cheering folks on with my words. I like spirited discussions about lots of topics. I am a verbally expressive person. I love using words to tell folks how I feel about them.

(I don't, however, love repeating the same words

over and over to my children. Ad nauseum.

Can I get an "Amen" from the momma crowd?!)

A while ago, The Boss (semi-jokingly, semi-lovingly) told me that my frustration over a particular conversation, in which I was trying to verbally support that person, likely was because I use "way more words than necessary" to get across my point. That it could have (and in his view maybe should have?) been said far more succinctly (my word, not his!). While I don't disagree with him at all, AND while I know he was sincerely trying to help me see another viewpoint in a loving way, it stung a little. Probably because in this instance, I was attempting to offer my words as a sort of gift. I know now that the gift was not so fitting for the recipient. Although I truly didn't know it so definitively previously and that's why I appreciate The Boss's insight. I've been examining my response to the situation and to his observations for a while now.

I do try to make my words count when speaking with people. I try not to vainly flatter or falsely build them up. I desire my words to be an encouragement. That is likely the reason his summary stung a little. Words aren't the "thing" that this recipient responds to, apparently, and thus my words fell flat. I felt like the gift I had offered was politely accepted as if it was a garish purple and orange sparkly scarf given by that crazy old aunt who shops in her ancient closet for birthday presents. My gift was dismissed.

In examining my feelings about the experience, I've been wondering now. Do I do that to the ones I love? Do I take their gifts and dismiss them without realizing the treasure they represent to the one who gave them? The simple offerings that my gang shares with me come in a variety of sizes, shapes, and colors. Not always words, but often that is how it starts. My gang members all know their way around the words. To varying degrees, they are all well-spoken, conversational, and sometimes down-right chatty. Do I take what they are offering, in the form in which they are offering it, and see it as the gift they are extending? The invitation into their world they are issuing?

Dandelions from the yard clutched in muddy, grubby fingers.

Stories of junior high drama and angst in uncertain voices.

Slightly strange, sometimes bordering on inappropriate, memes gleaned from friends.

"Knock, knock" jokes that really NO ONE understands.

The 999'th "hold me" with reaching arms and clutching fingers.

The random "Hey Mom, listen to this" kind of songs that I don't quite "get."

Sadly, in this recent examination, I'm discovering that it's an area of parenting that I really need to work on with the Lord's help. I need to be more mindful of what is behind what they are saying. They often are attempting to form connection between us and in response, I must throw open my heart more freely and receive those attempts as such. I'm certain that in receiving more openly what my gang is offering, I am creating more safety and security. I am shaping a foundation of love and confidence. I really need the Lord's help in this - to move from examining it into implementing it.

I do think, though, that it is fair to reserve the right to gently tell her "Too many words, Li'l Empress. Too many words." At O'dark Thirty. When the barrage hits me before my big ole Tigger mug full of sugar-free hazelnut creamer-flavored coffee. Right? Right?

Do You Think They Will Notice?

So. I am sitting here at my computer early (ridiculously early considering that I have nothing on the calendar till 11:00!) Thursday morning. In my pre-caffeinated fog. Reading a couple emails, catching up on F@cebook, gearing up for this week's Sunday bulletin, you know the drill.

I was deeply engrossed in reading this post (which by the way, is fabulous and a MUST READ for every married woman. Period. PEER. YEEEE. YUDD!) when Li'l Empress startled me by shouting out loud. 

Apparently, something on her morning show really! EXCITED! HER! SOOOO! MUCH!!!! The verbal outburst amidst the previously quiet morning slog made me jump out of my skin.

See, this morning, I'm home alone with my girly. Everyone else in the gang had somewhere important to be. And it's just us, with K@i L@n talking in the background.

Anyway. She startled me so much that I jumped up and, out of habit, shoved the rolling keyboard tray back into the computer desk. Quickly. Without thinking. Not normally a huge problem, right?

Except that this morning? THIS morning, I was sitting at my computer, reading a couple emails, catching up on F@cebook, gearing up for this week's Sunday bulletin, AND eating my favoritest cereal in the whole wide world.

Right out of my handy-dandy T*pperware cereal keeper (Cuz I despise milk. And I didn't want to dirty a bowl for just a handful or two.) Without the lid on. Sitting on the rolling keyboard tray.

Yeah. I know. I know. Sigh. I know.

Yeah. My favoritest cereal in the whole world flew up in the air at the impact. And landed all over the living room floor. All. Over.

So, I'm happy to say. I did salvage most of the cereal.  And I do have a nicely vacuumed living room carpet.

All before 8:30 a.m.

Do you think the kids will notice the random cat hair or two in the handy-dandy T*pperware cereal keeper?

I really need another cup of coffee.

On My Mind Lately

Okay, this is a totally random post. Don't say I didn't warn you! There's so much going on, and I'm having a hard time nailing down one specific thing going on in my brain. Might be the huge Tigger mug of coffee I have already downed. The Boss made it this a.m. and I think it's safe to say, he makes his coffee stronger than I do. At least, my heart rate is saying so.

We had a pool catastrophe last week. We've been trying to clean it, repair some stuff and get it ready for swimming season and in the process of that the liner basically blew out. Ironic on several fronts: first, we were pretty excited about starting the preparations and repairs so early. Normally, we're so busy in the spring that the pool kinda gets jammed into a semi-free weekend, and other things end up being eliminated or moved around on the calendar. Secondly, we were feeling positive about the possibility of squeaking another year or two out of our liner after we researched how to take care of some of the problems we had at the end of the swimming season last fall. Finally, we've been feeling good about our finances as of late. The adoption and several other unexpected issues have made things really tight around here for a while and we were starting to see some "flexibility" coming down the pike. Not so much anymore. I submit to you the evidence.


I'm choosing to believe that this entire event will force further reliance on the provision of the Lord and trust in His ways. I've been forcing myself to "just keep praisin'" as I said in a recent F*ceb@ok status. (I sing it to myself in Dory's singsong voice. Without the swimming. Obviously.)

On a more pleasant note, spring field trips are beginning. The Boss and LadyBug are in the city today, taking in the historic sites with the whole grade. It was so precious to me that The Boss volunteered to go and was so excited about it. (Here's a close to live action shot, uploaded by The Boss just for me!) LadyBug has just been beaming all week, and assured Daddy that she would be "totally fine" with strolling down the city streets hand-in-hand with her dear ole' Dad. I'm so blessed to have such an involved, "present" and loving Daddy for my children. Next week, he heads to a local amusement park for "Physics Day" with Shaggy. I doubt that there will be much hand-holding, but sharing the day hanging upside down on roller coasters is great father-son bonding if there ever was any, don't you agree?!

I'm thinking it's pretty sacrificial of me to give these chaperoning opportunities to The Boss, don't you? I mean, I'm giving up long rides on noisy school buses, hoards of chattering little ones, and hurling jr. highers who've overdone it on roller coasters and carnival food. THAT's love, I tell ya. True love.

Li'l Empress is astounding us with her progress and her growth. She's fully into the toddler testing stages. As I've said before, she's redefining our definition of a strong-willed child. But she's so darned engaging and cute that I'm not minding it terribly much. I also suspect that the little battles mean less to me, all these years later, and I'm enjoying the stages more than I let myself (or the kids for that matter!) in years past. I'm far choosier over what battles I'll push back with her. There's lots of fun new things she says and understands. That kind of stuff deserves it's own post, so I'll work on those thoughts and share them soon.

Finally, I'm wrestling with an internal dilemma. Last night, Dr. D asked if he could just hang at home today. My immediate, fun-mom response was, "SURE! I'd love to have you home to hang out with me and Li'l Empress." Immediately on the heels of that exclamation came my little rules-follower self, whispering that it would be inappropriate to allow him to stay home for no good reason. That he's already missed a lot of school with his bout of extreme strep this winter. That it's not very honoring of the authorities over him at school to let him just "skip." He went to school. Part of me is kicking myself for not taking the opportunity to meet him where he was at. I know he's pretty burned out with the pace at school right now. But the other part of me is kicking myself for even allowing the thought that responsibilities like school could or should be ditched so easily. And a teensy weensy part of me is just plain ticked that I didn't let myself be Fun Mom, consequences be d*&#%d . . . This mothering is a tough gig.

So, there's just a tiny peek into the randomness of my life this week. The sun is FINALLY out, Elboh is singing in the family room to Li'l Empress (Oh, how I love this Elboh stage of life!), and I believe that there's another cup of coffee calling my name in the kitchen. Have a great weekend, dear readers. I know I plan to.

My Challenge Continues

Well, it's been a crazy couple weeks since I posted about "Challenging Myself." I almost could have predicted it, but as soon as I posted my lofty hopes for regaining a sense of routine and re-structuring my days to improve my physical health things took a nose-dive around here! Today, I'm happy to report that all big and little gang members are on the mend. Baby BlueEyes has a check up in an hour or so because I'm finally getting around to admitting that his lingering cold and cough is likely a sinus infection. But he's in great spirits and I'm actually typing and posting this in live time while he plays with Li'l Empress. Miracle of miracles, I have free hands at 11:30 in the morning!!!!

So, here's the update on my challenge:

• The first week of journaling just. Did. NOT. happen. The second week was much better. The biggest trouble I have is creating great meals and then trying to figure out how they stack up with nutritional values. I'm thinking of having The Boss give me a crash course in the counting and journaling he does to manage his diabetes. That would have the added benefit of both of us working the same "program." I have to think on this one, though. In the meantime, I'll be pulling out my stash of W*$ght W@tch*rs recipes and formulating a menu and shopping list from those.
  
• I am being very successful to limiting myself to one mug of coffee with creamer each day. (Please don't remind me just how big those mugs are!) I'm finding on a daily basis that I rarely finish that one mug before lunch. I'm trying to train myself to choose my smaller mugs AND choose water when I'm feeling thirsty. I must admit, the water portion of the challenge has been going dismally. I hate drinking water in this cold weather, and I'm not a big fan of tea as of late. I must improve this area - my skin is feeling the pinch.
• Heading to bed around 10 p.m. has been much easier to conquer than I'd imagined. No doubt it's because The Boss and I finally agreed to try a DVR package with our local cable provider. He called and wrangled a great introductory deal and we finally gave our fizzled, frazzled VCR the heave-ho. Now we can enjoy shows when we are ready, skip commercials, and save our faves for quiet nights when everyone is tucked in. The other night, I was actually in bed at 9:40!!!!!
  

So, this week, here's my goals:

1. Continue to journal, measure, and mind all I eat and drink.
2. Increase the water intake. Period. I just have to do it.
3. Continue to head to bed by 10.
4. Increase my fruits and vegetables daily. It's embarrassing how few of them I eat this time of year!
   

In order to accomplish these, I am brainstorming some other changes to our daily and weekly routines. That's a whole 'nother post, brewing as I type. Additionally, I'm beginning to look around for some exercise options that will allow me to enjoy working out AND not have to spend a ton of time or money. I'm like Natalie in my quest for variety. Except, if I can't have variety, I settle happily for community which is why I loved Curves. The budget constraints of that option are forcing me to be creative. Also another post entirely!

So, how are you doing? What challenges are you offering yourself this week?

Challenging Myself

Last week, my very brave and very honest friend, Natalie, announced a weight loss challenge on her blog. You can read the details of the path she's setting out for herself and the challenge she's inviting us to join in, here. Each Monday, there's a new installment of the challenge to join.

This challenge comes at a great time for me. I've been itchy to get back into a regular routine of life again, even if our new normal looks really different than previous "normal" looked. I have also been sensing how closely my physical health is tied to my emotional and spiritual health. Now that I've hit the big 4-oh, I have had to be brutally honest with myself in many areas.

I've not shared this before, at least not in this forum, but for the last several years I have struggled with depression. At first, I put it off to the "winter blues" but in my desire to be brutally honest coming into 2008, I finally admitted to myself that it was worse than that. Sticking to routine, maintaining my weight (or even trying to lose some sensibly), setting an up-lifting tone in our home through prayer and worship, and regular exercise have all been invaluable tools to help me manage the symptoms fairly well. Also helpful have been the relationships of a couple real friends who have been consistent, concerned and honest with me. I am not so haughty or deceived to believe that now that our adoption is complete and my life is ever-so-much busier and full of toddler activity, I won't still struggle this year. In fact, with all the sickness and stuff that's been floating around here, I have found myself sinking and floundering these past ten days. So, this challenge is a great opportunity for me to take up the things that I know I can do to improve my own health and maybe lose some weight in the process.

I have been vacillating all week about my commitment and my participation in Natalie's blog challenge. On the one hand, I know I've let a lot of my healthy habits fly right out the window in 2008. Not JUST during this transition with Li'l Empress, but certainly all this change in the recent 4+ months has been taking its toll. My weight since leaving Curves in August reflects that. On the other hand I have also been trying to set some reasonable goals and not commit myself to something I could not stick with for a long term. Exercising consistently is not a huge interest of mine right now, but getting some handles on what I'm eating and when I'm eating it feels manageable to me.

So, I'm joining the challenge today. I am committing to the following three things:

1. I will diligently track all my food choices, journaling everything I eat, W*ight W*tchers-style. I am even going as far as to follow my recommended points for my age, height and weight. None of which I will be sharing publicly. (Sorry, Nat, I'm not nearly as brave as you yet!)
2. I will limit my coffee intake (still with my delicious Nestle's Sugar Free Hazelnut Creamer) to one Tigger mug each morning. Additionally, I will limit my Diet Pepsi intake, though I don't currently indulge every day. I will increase my water intake. Not willing to attach a number to that yet.
3. I am making an effort to head to bed by 10 p.m. 4 out of 7 nights of the week. Fridays don't count and I need the freedom to flex a couple nights, based on our family calendar. An added bonus: those middle-of-the-night soothing sessions with Li'l Empress won't take such a toll on my body if I'm resting more before AND after rocking my brains out in the nursery down the hall!

I think these are reasonable places to start. For me, anyway. I have to admit, I really miss my work-outs at my local C*rves. They agreed to give me a "maternity leave" from Sept. 1- Jan. 1 but in the meantime, the gym had to close its doors. Coming up with the money to join elsewhere and committing to finding child care for Li'l Empress has been a huge deterrent to exercising outside of the house. I think, for the next phase of the challenge, I may be willing to look at a commitment to regularly utilize the two or three work-out dvd's I have from my W*ight W*tcher days. Believe me, if I could afford to go back to WW, I would commit to that too.

So, there it is. I'm also committing to show up Monday with a report of my progress. My hope is that the progress shows itself in numbers falling off the scale, but I am also choosing NOW to be grateful for improved eating, drinking, and sleeping habits. Think you're up for a challenge? Head over to Natalie's post from today, and join up. Working on positive changes together will be fun!

Oh My Sweet Mercy!

I am a frequent flyer on the Nestle Coffee Mate website, ya know, because of my affection (nay, addiction - who am I kidding?!) for their Sugar-Free Hazelnut liquid creamer. I got an email notification Friday afternoon that there were coupons available from the site, if I desired to print them. Did I desire to print them? Is the sky above weeping buckets of freezing rain and ice? (For those of you who aren't local, that's a big fat YESSSSS!)

So off I head, to print the little slips of joy. I call them "little slips of joy" because I feel so much better about my little, ahem, habit, when I am getting my stash for cheaper. (Imagine my joy yesterday at my local Giant when they were ON SALE and I HAD A COUPON?!) As I'm tapping my printer case waiting for said little slips of joy, my jaw dropped. My eyes bugged.

Oh My Sweet Mercy.

Look at what was at the bottom of the page of coupons. (Coupons for $1.50 off two creamers, I might add!)

This me pretties, is a Blended Hazelnut Frappe. Courtesy of Coffee-Mate. The only disagreement I have with the nice folks at Coffee-Mate is that this particular confection of perfection isn't just for "when the temperature outside starts heating up." Nooooo, this little treat is and should be enjoyed all year round.

Go there now. You will thank me, no matter the weather.

I've Been Tagged!

My new cyber-friend, Aus, and his wife tagged me for this meme. I "met" Aus and his wife when they started following our blog during our China trip. They were consistently helpful with their knowledge of the country and encouraging all the way. If you notice, their comments even since we've been home have been in the same vein. That's one of the things I love about this new "family" we find ourselves in the midst of - the international adoption community is tight-knit and so helpful. There's a real "you can do it!" mentality that we've so appreciated!

So anyway, I've been tagged for this particular several times recently and just never got around to doing it. If you are reading this, please play along! Just leave a comment to let me know you played. And then link up to me. Otherwise, have fun reading this mish-mosh of crazy random-ness about me :)

7 Random Things About Me

• I am still friends with my best friend from Kindergarten. That’s 35+ years and counting for those of you who are trying to do the math in your head. I think we are perfectly matched and besides my hubby, she’s the best friend God could have ever given me.
• My husband is appalled that I can drink day-old coffee. My words to him (just this afternoon, again, in fact!): “I don’t care what the actual coffee tastes like. If there’s room in the mug for my sugar-free hazelnut creamer, throw it in the microwave. Not down the drain!”
• I have struggled all my life with keeping my relationships in the right priority. However, I also despised the label “social butterfly” and still do. I do not "flit." I form deep, lasting and meaningful friendships that usually end up meaning more to me than to many of those I am/was in relationship with.
• I cannot stand to leave my toe-nails unpainted once April comes around. But once it's November, I could care less what my feet look like. Inside my FABULOUS shoes, that is.
• I am seriously afraid that my two junior-high boys are already smarter than me. Please, don’t tell them – they haven’t quite figured it out yet. And it’s still endearing when they come to me for help with homework. A little scary, but endearing nonetheless.
• The first big snow of the season gets me totally excited, sentimental, and domestic. After that, I’m done: “bring on the spring!”
• I love unusual jewelry. Hand-made, cultural or ethnic. I could stand in those craft booths forever looking at all the cool earrings and pins. When I find one that “speaks to me,” I have to have it. I tend to lose my frugality in the face of funky accessories.
  

There you have it. The good, the bad, and the weird. All in my little head. Aren't you lucky you aren't me?!

Come on, play along and join the fun - what quirky and random things are lurking in your brain today?

Random Catching Up

It's been a crazy busy week here. Now that all my healthy school-aged children have returned to the classroom, I've been running laundry (clean sheets and blankets and towels for EVERYONE!), cutting coupons, making grocery lists, and running errands. Yesterday, I spent the afternoon at a local play land, just enjoying the opportunity to visit with a friend and be out because I wanted to, not because I had to run out for soft foods or cough medicine!

I spent Monday getting BACK ON TRACK by going to Curves for the first time in 2 weeks. It felt so good, and I've been trying like crazy to get back there since! I think I can squeeze it into today's routine, later. I also trekked around with a gorgeous but slightly beat up antique headboard and footboard in my trunk. We've been planning to strip and refinish it and turn it into LadyBug's bed. That way, when company is here overnight, they still have a comfy place to sleep and LadyBug can bunk in with one of her many siblings :) The first estimate was $450 just to strip it! The second place was far more reasonable, and gave me an estimate of $150 to strip it and sand it. Further, they promised it would be done by the end of the week! SOLD!!!! In fact, they called Monday night to say it's done. Now that's service I can smile about. I am totally kicking myself that I didn't take a before picture to show you how amazing this set it. I was just too focused on getting my life back to normal. . . . One big project off the checklist that never ends.

It's also Pinewood Derby week here for the Gang. So our weekend and our weeknights have been about painting, balancing, weighting, decorating and naming our cars. Last night, friends came over to use some of The Boss's tools and share a pizza dinner. It was a fun treat, as we rarely get together with people on weeknights. I'll share the Derby fun in pictures after Saturday's race.

Finally, I started a part-time job in the midst of all the efforts to return to normalcy. In fact, we are all adjusting to a new normal. I am babysitting on Tuesdays for a local homeschooling family of 5. The mom is also a speech therapist for a local organization and she's been given the opportunity for 8-10 hours a week of work and needs help with her five. I also am "on call" for other days of the week, in case her other childcare falls through or she has additional needs. It's going to be a great way to help out with some of the special projects we have going here, as we get ready for Aidan to (someday!) come home! Including the stripped and soon-to-be re-finished bed . . .

Now, I'm off to the dentist. My absolute LEAST favorite of all appointments, all year. Both of them. My stomach is in knots for hours before each visit; and my head and face aches for hours afterward. As if I don't carry enough Mommy guilt for all the gazillion things I don't do right, or could have at least done better! Then, twice a year I subject myself to the painful torture of someone tugging and yanking at my lips and gums, telling me how shameful it is that a beautiful set of teeth like mine don't get flossed often enough. As if.

I'm gonna need a reallllllly large mug of Dunkin' Donuts hazelnut coffee and a big soft bagel full of cream cheese to reward myself for voluntarily showing up for the appointment and smiling and nodding at my cheery hygienist. (Who, by the way, has elevated me to some kind of sainthood for giving birth to 4 kids and choosing to adopt a 5th! Couldn't she cut this saint a break and just clam up about the flossing? For maybe just one visit of the year cut me some slack?!) Thank goodness that Dunkin' Donuts is in the next plaza over from the dentist. Thank goodness for Dunkin' Donuts.

Favorites Friday

I'm a fairly new coffee addict. I resisted for years, even though I did enjoy an occasional cup, well-doctored and usually only in social settings under subtle peer pressure. It's only been three or so years that I've become a full-blown coffee junkie. And now, in the throes of a virus that has left my mouth full of painful sores and a head aching from the agony of it all, I am realizing just how much I love my coffee. Today's Favorites are an ode to my morning java. May we meet again soon!

My Favorite Things About Coffee!

• The heat of my full Tigger mug cupped in my hands seeps right through to my bones, warding of the chill of the morning air. That first long draw of heat eases the pain of leaving my warm, dark cocoon of blankets.
  
• The aroma is nutty and rich, tickling my nose with the anticipation of its taste. When The Boss is brewing, the smell is a touch more acrid, giving just the right nudge out of that dark cocoon on a Saturday morning.
  
• Its taste is strong and deep, calling my brain to alertness and giving my taste buds the gentle wake-up call they need to start the day. One big sip and my tongue is loosened and real words begin to form.
  
• The hazelnut creamer only enhances the nutty smell of my morning blend and adds just the right trickle of sweetness. The creamy flow into my giant-sized Tigger mugs is one of the prettiest sights I see all day.
  
• And the kick? Oh, I love the kick! The little surge of clarity and the jolt of excitement as I sip and look over the day's chores cannot be beat. I mean, come on! How else am I supposed to face the mountains of laundry and dishes that appear on EVERY DAY'S list without fail?

These sores cannot handle the perfection of coffee right now. They fare far better with room temperature water and yogurt. Lots of yogurt. But believe you me, when the last of these vile tormentors have left my mouth, I'm making a whole pot of delectable brew. And drinking the whole thing. Just think how much I'm going to enjoy that! Can you imagine how much I'm going to get done? Mmmmmmmmm, be patient dear mouth, be patient.