Fanning The Flames

I think I might have neglected to mention this to ya'll: Dr. D has spent the last ten days in Alaska! How cool is that?! He is part of a ministry work team that was sent by our home church to go and support the work of Last Frontiers Ministries. As soon as we knew about the trip, we just KNEW that this was something he had to do. And from the reports that have been trickling in for these last days, we weren't wrong. It's been awesome to hear things like "killer work ethic" and "in his element" and "awesome team work" from him and from the other folks with whom he has been serving. Makes a momma's heart proud!

His most recent status update on F@ceb**k alluded to his love of the beautiful land and the fact that he could see himself going back and settling there. Heh. Imagine how much this momma loved hearing that! I assigned one of the team members the special task of being 100% certain that Dr. D gets on that plane and comes home to his momma. The team arrives home tonight and we cannot wait to hug him and hear all about his adventures!

But seriously, what a blessing to be able to launch him off to something that is so life-changing and at the same time, so RIGHT UP HIS ALLEY! I love that God takes such joy in the way He wired my boy AND that He crafted an opportunity like this one for Dr. D to learn more about His Great Love and His plan for his life. As I'd mentioned in my previous post about his enlistment, we've known from a very young age that God had a very creative and unique wiring built into our boy's heart. This trip and the kind of ministry that it offered, with its brand of teamwork and its type of practical ministry (like digging trenches, weatherizing, and other construction projects), set in that rugged environment are indeed integral to the man that Dr. D is becoming. I'm not sure I would have known this as a young mom, but I gotta tell ya: as the mom to two almost-adult young men, one of the most exciting things I get to experience is their steps into that plan and the path that sets them off to pursuing it. I'm so proud, I could burst open with it!

This is now the second short-term missions project one of our Gang has done and I have to say, we are hooked! The benefits AND the lessons that these experiences bring to their lives are really invaluable. Early in our marriage, The Boss and I both did a couple short-term experiences (as staff) with our former youth ministry so we knew that it was something we'd incorporate into our bag of parenting tricks. We are anxious to see what opportunities will be available when LadyBug is ready to venture out.  And we are SUPER excited about a potential trip that The Boss is hoping to take this coming March, ministering in a manner that is very near and dear to our hearts. I'm equally excited about what his experience on that trip will speak to our kids as they watch him prepare and hear about it when he returns. Fanning the flames of ministry in our kids' hearts by exposing them to all different kinds of opportunities to serve around the world is a really fun part of being the Momma to this Gang He's given us!

As soon as Dr. D has settled back in and we get our family debriefing out of the way, I'll be sure to share more about the trip and some of the pictures various team members have shared. Who knows, maybe he'll be excited enough to "guest blog" a photo post?! Until then, here's a sneak peek at a pic my brother-in-law shared with us.

In the meantime, if you are the momma to a little one OR a teen, consider including a short-term missions trip in your family's "curriculum" for launching them to adulthood. You won't be sorry - it's a priceless life-changing experience!

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If you want to hear more about some of the experiences and resources to which we are connected, I'd be happy to share! Leave me a comment or shoot me an email and I'll be in touch!

Building a Foundation

My parents came to a personal relationship with the Lord in the mid-70's. At that time and through the majority of the 80's, much of the praise & worship in their circles was Scripture put to music - straight from The Word. Choruses were simple and the quotes were often from The King James version of The Bible. I loved learning new songs: the lyrics were poetic and appealed to my poetry-writing heart. The many repetitions we sang sunk both the songs and the verses from which they came deep into my heart and mind.

It's a gift I treasure, particularly in the hard times of life. I feel His faithfulness and love for me when a song floods my heart, specific to the situation I'm facing, washing my thoughts with The Word. Being able to sing out, and thus stand on the promises and the declarations of His character and His commitment to me, has carried me in some very difficult times. I've shared here before how much I love the old hymns of my faith, for much the same reason. The bedrock that The Word put to music provides in my life is a comfort, a foundation, a keystone.

The other day, as I was rocking Mei Mei to sleep, I was singing and humming my favorite hymn, "Great Is Thy Faithfulness" as we snuggled together. Out of seemingly nowhere, the Lord brought an old chorus to my mind. I can't even say I was really searching for a new song to sing, though the minute I "heard" the tune in my head, I knew HE had just been waiting to give it to me again. I've been singing it all week long. I love the way He quickened it to me, wrapping me in His love and giving me another tool by which to sing her life verse over her day after day. I love that for years now I have had this verse memorized and buried deep into my heart. That I now have the privilege of delivering it to her little heart and mind. This is a bedrock verse for her life and I get to actively build that foundation of His love and His mercy for her each time we sit in my rocking chair to snuggle before bed and nap times.

Isn't He so good? What a gift, to be able to so directly speak to my daughter's heart.

The Steadfast Love Of The Lord

by Robert Davidson

"The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases

His mercies never come to an end.

They are new every morning,

New every morning

Great is Thy faithfulness, O Lord!

Great is Thy faithfulness"

Happy Easter, belated

Happy Easter, a day belated. We spent the holiday with family... there's no better way to spend it, especially given all the big changes coming for us all in the coming weeks and months.

There was a great children's program at the start of both services, in which Shaggy did some puppeteering with some other teens to tell a unique version of the real meaning of Easter. Interspersed by a couple songs in which Li'l Empress' class participated. Oh, so cute! She sang with super gusto, every single word, during the first service. But then during second service, she was so focused on being ready for her "job" of holding up the sign at the right time that she completely skipped singing the words. CRACKED us up!

Then, my Pastor BIL invited our gang forward to pray for us and launch us off on our trip to Mei Mei. It was a sweet moment, feeling the covering of our church family and the love that they have for us and for our girl. The little sigh of delight when they flashed her picture, in both services, made me totally tear up. Again!

After services, we headed off to the mountains to spend time with my family and enjoyed a yummy meal followed by deadly, decadent desserts. Orange Coconut Cake. Cadbury Creme Egg Brownies. Angeletti cookies. Sigh.... we all sunk into a sugar coma shortly after the meal was cleared and dishes cleaned.

I have no pictures of that. It's to protect the guilty. Heh. And let me tell ya, on the dessert front, we were all pretty darned guilty!

Hope your holiday celebrations with your family were lovely. I'm so grateful for friends and family that share the joy of celebrating His Resurrection. And for the love that changes everything.

Surprise...

The other day, I picked Li'l Empress up from Kindergarten and headed over to the church offices to take care of cutting the cards for our Chore Chart. On the secretary's desk there is a little candy bowl, always filled with tempting little packages of sweet minty yumminess. I'm convinced that it is the primary reason any of my gang ever willingly joins me when I head to the office to do work of any kind.

Anyway, as is her custom, Li'l Empress waited oh, about 45 seconds before asking (ever so politely and expectantly) if she could please have a mint. This time, I said "not now, maybe later." I went on to explain that it would be so nice if once in while she DIDN'T ask, but instead thought about waiting for ME to ask HER. Maybe if she would wait once in a while, I would get the pleasure of surprising her or blessing her with OFFERING it to her before she made it known that she wanted it. (Heh. AS IF I ever ever ever wonder if she wants one!). She nodded quickly and gave me a face. But as I had laid the ground rules down earlier about how to behave while Uncle Paul and the others were working, she quietly (and wisely) gave me one last look and turned around to play with the stash of toys.

So, on Friday, we were back at the office to print and fold and stuff the weekly bulletin. I settled her on the floor with her little snacky lunch, the toys and her chocolate milk. I could see her eyeing the candy bowl but just pretended I was too busy with my own tasks to notice. After her lunch was about 3/4 of the way to being done, she became a little more obvious. Looking longer. Getting up to walk over and peer into the dish close up. Really studying it. I was having a hard time keeping my composure.

After she finished, she cleaned up her lunch stuff and started playing on the floor. I was folding and stuffing the bulletin by now and she knew we were going to be leaving soon....

"Ummm, Mommy, ummmm, Mommy?"

"Yes, Li'l Empress?"

"Ummmm, Mommy?"  and she pointed emphatically in the general direction of the candy dish. Silently.

"What, Li'l Empress? Did you need something?"

"Ummmm, Mommy? Ummm, I'm not going to ask you for a ...." pointing even more emphatically, to the point of lifting off her little hiney and stretching her whole body into the point.

"What? What aren't you going to ask me for?" I asked oh, so innocently. Heh.

"I'm not going to ask you for a mint," she shook her head very solemnly.

"Oh, good, Li'l Empress. Thank you for remembering our talk the other day and obeying me about the mints."

"Yeah. I 'membered. And I'm going to wait for you to suhprize me. 'K? You are gonna suhprize me, right?"

Sigh. "Yes, Li'l Empress. Would you like a mint now that we are ready to leave?"

"YEAH! SURE! THANKS! I SO EXCITED! I GOT A MINT! YAY! I GOT A MINT!"

Sigh. ...Surprise...

Then Sings My Soul!

One of my most cherished memories is of a Sunday service in the teeny tiny 3-car-garage-turned sanctuary of my Dad's first church. We had only been home from my grandfather's funeral services and family time for a week or so but we were all still very tender and bruised over our incredible loss. For the first time in my life, I was dealing with real grief, the permanency of loss, and the awareness that while this was hard for me to grapple with, it was THAT MUCH harder for my dad to process through. He was very close to his dad and enjoyed a very loving, connected relationship with his father. It's one of the first times that I remember being so keenly aware that my dad was in a kind of pain and sadness that wouldn't just "go away" with a sweet card or a sunny day. That my dad had to deal with our collective pain on top of and connected to his own grief.  It was a profound week or two for me, coming to terms with watching his sadness and realizing that my pain was joined to someone else's pain.

On that Sunday morning so long ago, I was full of all kinds of heightened emotions and struggling to connect with the worship time. And then, out of the corner of my eye, I see my dad's arms go up wide and outstretched. Tears were flowing freely down his face and he was singing through his brokenness:

Then sings my soul, My Saviour God, to Thee,
How great Thou art, How great Thou art.
Then sings my soul, My Saviour God, to Thee,
How great Thou art, How great Thou art!

I will never forget that picture, as long as I live. To this day, when that song comes up on my iPod rotation or across the airwaves of our local Christian music station, I am instantly transported to that moment. When we stand in church singing these words in our own worship service, I am arrested and can barely sing through my own tears.

I've mentioned before that The Boss and I are in a bit of a tough season right now. Looking for a new career position. Waiting for Brynna's adoption process to come to fruition. Anticipating Shaggy's graduation in less than a month. Trusting HIM for finances for the adoption and for Shaggy's future plans. Walking through lots of new stages with the other kids that aren't bad but are certainly very new. Tough stuff that has had the tendency these last few weeks to distract me and weigh me down.

So yesterday, when our worship team began this song, I knew God was speaking to me.

O Lord my God, When I in awesome wonder,
Consider all the worlds Thy Hands have made;
I see the stars, I hear the rolling thunder,
Thy power throughout the universe displayed.

In the peaceful beauty of a starry still night, He is greater.

In the roar of life's greatest storms, He is greater.

And when I think, that God, His Son not sparing;
Sent Him to die, I scarce can take it in;
That on the Cross, my burden gladly bearing,
He bled and died to take away my sin.

In my desperate state of heavy burden and ugly sin, He was great.

He is greater.

When Christ shall come, with shout of acclamation,
And take me home, what joy shall fill my heart.
Then I shall bow, in humble adoration,
And then proclaim: "My God, how great Thou art!"

In my earthly struggle, bound by the circumstances of my human condition, He is great.

This is all real life stuff. But this is NOT my home.

And He is greater.

I'm so everlastingly grateful for the example of my Dad, for the chance to watch him walk through that great pain and, later as I grew, other painful difficult circumstances. Difficulties that would have broken a lesser man. Grief and hardship that would have distracted a less-intentioned man from the Truth. Instead, my dad let those circumstances drive him into the Truth. In my view, that song is my dad's lifesong.

In these hard times, during these stretching moments which I freely admit are NOTHING to contend with when compared to the pain I've seen my parents walk through in this life, I am choosing for it to be my lifesong also.

I'm lifting my eyes above the job loss. Above the uncertainty. Above the long wait to see my daughter's face. Above changes I know are coming to our home as Shaggy enters adulthood. Above the tensions and stresses of the everyday-ness of a busy life. Above the weariness and the frustration. Above the circumstances. 

I'm choosing to lift my eyes and sing to the heavens, arms up wide and outstretched.

Then sings my soul, My Saviour God, to Thee,
How great Thou art, How great Thou art.
Then sings my soul, My Saviour God, to Thee,
How great Thou art, How great Thou art!

The 3 P's {Purity}

If you are just popping by today and you didn't get the backstory of my 3 P's, I encourage you to head to yesterday's post (click here!) and check it out first. Hopefully, you'll read the other 2 P's, too. Truthfully, I was hoping for more discourse over these three topics... Are you lurking again?!

"Purity" sure is a hot topic in today's culture, isn't it? Merriam-Webster's dictionary defines "purity" as "the quality or state of being pure," and lists the synonyms of  "chasteness, immaculacy, innocence, modesty, and chastity."  Huh. Pretty big words. Pretty big concepts. And certainly NOT all directly related to the obvious definitions of purity that come to mind the nanosecond the word is uttered.  That's what stuck in my mind when the Lord gave me these 3 P's: "purity" is so much more than staying sexually pure and remaining a virgin until marriage. PURITY is a quality or a state of being. Keep that in mind as you track with me on this one.

Praying for Our Kids' Purity

Pray for your kids to carry a child-like faith and sweetness through all of their days. Pray that the innocence that brings you (and God!) such joy now, while they are young, continues to be a hallmark of their character. As our youth pastor's wife pointed out, we aren't praying for niavete. Rather, we are praying for the choice to remain innocent of the temptations to seek worldliness and "street smarts" that can lead to unhealthy choices and broken, painful consequences. Pray for a tenderness of heart that seems "other-worldly" when compared to our culture's secular understanding of innocence.

Of course, pray for your children to seek moral and physical purity in all of their relationships with others. But you can also ask God for a purity of understanding regarding the God-ordained roles of maleness and femininity. Pray for them to remain unscathed by the input of others that would seek to destroy or beat down the ideals of abstinence, virginity. Ask God to give them opportunities to speak of about the divine healing that  is available to those whose innocence has been stripped from them.

Pray for them to rise up and be a generation that honors and promotes God's plan for marriage and family.  Pray that they will stand strong in the face of the enemy's attempts to destroy the crucial foundations of our culture. Pray that they seek compassionate responses to the culture around them and act as agents of healing and restoration for those that desire to destroy what God created in the family and in the institute of marriage.

Finally, pray that they would see the world around them through the purity of the lens of The Word. Ask Him to give them eyes to see the things that He sees, the way He sees them, and be moved to speak as a voice of Truth and a seeker of justice for those who are oppressed or hurting or broken. Pray that their hearts be broken by the very things that break God's heart, that they be His hands, His voice, and His heart to the world in which they live. His heart beats with the ultimate purity of heart and we can seek God on behalf of our kids for that heartbeat every day.

Wow. I saved the biggie for last, didn't I? I know it's a potentially controversial conversation for the many different readers I have around here. But no matter. I believe that purity of heart is indeed something for which we should all be seeking God. What Scriptures can you share with us that would help us pray for our kids? I'm interested to hear your take on the topic and how you handle the conversation with your own gang.

The 3 P's {Purpose}

If you are just popping by today and you didn't get the backstory of my 3 P's, I encourage you to head to Tuesday's post (click here!) and start there.... It'll make more sense if you do, I promise.

When you are the parent of a passel of little bitty treasures, the idea of "Purpose" can feel overwhelming and "too big" around which to wrap your sleep-interrupted, dirty-diaper-focused mind.  But as much as I hated to hear it when I was in that baby/toddler/two in diapers stage of my parenting, the years DO fly by. The days of monotonous replays of Barney, Sesame Street, and Dora (rewind, repeat) really do come to an end. And if you don't catch a hold of the Purposes of God for your kids and teach THEM how to grasp that "big idea" also, they will get stuck in their own litany of monotony, only it won't be the all-too-brief season of diaper-changing and baby-rocking. It won't be with the big purple guy and that strange little backpack. It will be with REAL.LIFE. Grown up stuff that won't grow up till they face it. I know you don't want your kids to settle for "less than" purpose-filled, God-ordained, intentional lives. But getting them there requires our diligence and our own catching hold of the purpose for which God has us parenting them. Getting our kids to the point of living fully in their big dreams and passions requires that we teach them and we pray into them the purposes of God.

Praying For Our Kids' Purpose

Ask God to show you some things about the path that He has for your children's futures. Pray for intentionality in their pursuits of His plans. Pray for that pursuit to be based on The Word of God and carried out with integrity and creativity. They have plans for their lives and He knows just how to fit them into the bigger picture of His kingdom and the niche only they can fill within that kingdom.

Pray for healthy and productive child development. Pray that the sequential stages of their development  will be productive and useful toward preparing them for the next stage and for their future growth. Each stage  of learning that our kids encounter has been put in place by God. He created them and those stages have an important function and "big picture"  purpose. It's so tempting to try and rush them through the stages, but instead, try praying them through the stage and asking God to give you a peek into what they are learning. Sometimes, you might even need to pray for a stage again, as often kids "revisit" stages for different reasons or seasons of their lives.

Pray for your children to identify their life purpose(s) in His timing and learn how to continually surrender it to the glory and the honor of Their Creator. Pray that his or her individual purpose supports and contributes well to the Body of Christ at large and to the local church family in which they are planted. Yes, planted even now as kids. We are all created to glorify The Father - and that can be done at any age.

So how about it? Let's chat again. What verses from The Word can help you key in on the purpose of your child's life?  I'm anxious to hear from you and can't wait to dig into The Word with you!

The 3 P's {Passion}

If you are just popping by today and you didn't get the backstory of my 3 P's, I encourage you to head to yesterday's post (click here!) and check it out first. I don't often name my posts with such disarming titles as "Passion" so things will make more sense if you start there.

I love that God has created each of my Gang members so uniquely and specifically. They are about as different from each other in their unique-ness as snowflakes are from other snowflakes. I love learning about "what makes my kids tick," so to speak. So praying with the focus of Passion is really exciting to me. And while it's likely pretty obvious to most of you what "passion" means in this context, I am going to assume nothing and share with you the definitions and explanations as I feel the Lord shared them with me. It isn't meant to be an exhaustive list, nor is it to be a formula. These are simply the ideas I felt the Lord giving me, here and with the coming "P's" for praying.

What I would LOVE for you to do is read them over and then share what Scriptures come to your mind that help you pray specifically for your own child.  I certainly have my own favorite verses when praying for my kids but I love hearing others' views on The Word and how they use it as a tool for strengthening their family.

Praying for Our Kids' Passion

Pray for your kids to know early and intimately WHO they are in Christ. Pray that they know how passionate their Creator is for them and how BIG He dreams for their lives.  Pray that you be able to communicate to them how BIG you dream for them, as an extension of those dreams their Heavenly Father has for their life's journey.

Pray that God would show them early what passions HE has woven into their being. These passions obviously include their natural gifts and talents, but can also be their temperament, their life's work, their calling or vocation, and even their hobbies. Pray that as they discover more about how God has wired them, they would also learn how to submit those gifts to His leading. Pray for protection against pride or arrogance that can come with God-given talents or traits. Pray for blossoming of these passions to be in His timing and in accordance with His plan for their lives, both here and now AND in their big, beautiful futures.

Finally, pray for Him to be glorified in the growing and developing AND in implementing of these passions. Pray that He teach you how to teach them that it's all for Him. All of it.

So how about it? What comes to your mind when praying for your kid's passions?  I'm anxious to hear from you and can't wait to dig into The Word with you!

The 3 P's

Over the past 3-4 months, the Lord has been showing me how I need to be more intentional in my prayers regarding my kids. I feel like I did such a great job when the three older kids were pre-schoolers and elementary-age, in keeping my focus on covering them with prayer, teaching them to pray, and seeking the Lord as to how to pray for them. I commented to a friend today, that poor Li'l Empress is probably walking around with big holes in her parental prayer umbrella.  How's that for a spiritual metaphor?!

But sadly, it's not that far off of the truth.  The intentional training and disciplined focus I had to have when the older kids were really young has made way for their own spiritual disciplines. It's as it should be. For the older kids. However, it doesn't address the fact that we still have two younger kids (and one on the way!) that still need to learn how to pray, that still need active, illustrative modeling to "catch it" for themselves.

So one of the things that I'm asking the Lord to change in me during this season of prayer and fasting is my prayer life for my kids. Back in November and early December, when I was really feeling pressed to the wall by the Holy Spirit over this issue, I also knew that the church was gearing up for this annual focused time of prayer. And it really helps that I lead a Moms' Group at our church and I wanted our January meetings to share the same mission and focus that is going on church-wide. With all that in mind, I asked God to lead me to His plan for me and for the moms' group I lead. I felt like the Lord gave me a neat tool for praying with focus over our kids.

I'm sharing it here because I know I cannot be the only mom in bloggity-world that loses the "ooomph" to pray for her kids once in a while. And I know that I'm not the only mom that wants it simple and accessible... After all, if there's a big long formula or complicated process I have to access, I'm likely to shoot off one of those generic, "Bless the kids today and help them be a good friend today" kind of prayers every morning when I'm sending them out into that big world outside my doors.

Not that there's anything wrong with that prayer,
but really, with all our kids face and all that God dreams for them to become,
there is truly so much more to it than that.

I am NOT dissing generic prayers. Honest.

Here's what I call "The 3 P's of Praying for our Kids."

Praying for Our Kids' Passion

Praying for Our Kids' Purpose

Praying for Our Kids' Purity

Ooooh, are you intrigued yet?!  Hang on.... this is just a teaser!  You have to come back over the next few days to see what each one means!  And when  you do, please be ready to share in the comments some of your thoughts and maybe even some great Scripture references about how you might go about praying for that theme to be accomplished in your children's lives.

I'm really hoping that this little series of mine sparks some great idea swapping and spiritual encouragement for us all!

HINT, HINT!!!!!!

Pray

The other day, my son came home with a sad story of a young man he knows. This young man has likely the hardest life experiences my son has encountered among his peers, so far. As he related his new friend's life-story to The Boss and I, my mind was racing. My heart was breaking. I could see the sorrow in my son's eyes. I could hear it in his voice. I was immediately transported back to a similar conversation with my own mother regarding the brokenness I was starting to recognize in my own group of friends back in high school. There were actually many of these conversations in the years I lived at home.After all, brokenness is everywhere around us. We see pain every single day, whether we choose to acknowledge it or not. Whether we choose to be involved with it or not.

As I listened to my son, I couldn't help but feel a bit of pride for his response to the experience and his response to his friend. He admitted that his first instinct is to step up and figure out how to help his friend fix the various scenarios related in their conversation. But just as quickly, he admitted that he knows there is nothing he can do to fix anything. That his friend, in many ways, is just as powerless to fix the situations he must endure. It's not a comfortable position for this son to face; he is much like his dad in that way.   

We listened to his heart coming through the conversation and I couldn't help but think what a treasure it is: that he gets to come home to us and share what he experiences. And what a blessing it is that he can have these first glimpses into the brokenness of the world in which we live while he is still home with us, his safety net.  What a privilege that is, to be able to provide that for our child.

It was such a good reminder to me, that our kids are faced everyday with such hard, painful, broken circumstances all around us. We have to be intentional about creating a safe place for them to unload the hurt and learn how to surrender it while learning that they likely will never be the ones to fix it. We can't take that lightly - no matter what environment our kids face each day, they will encounter broken people. Some have gaping wounds and are hemorrhaging fast. Some have tiny cuts and scratches and walk around feeling bruised all the time. Some have internal bleeding that no one catches until it seems as if it is too late. And sometimes, our kids, our kids who have healthy, loving, safe homes are the only ones to whom these broken people will turn.

Being the "mom" that I am, I made sure my son knew that this friend was welcome in our home and at our dinner table, should that be a need we could meet together. Then I asked him how he left things with his friend. He said that really all he could do was listen and accept his story. And then he said the thing that made me tear up. He said, "I just finally asked him how I could pray for him.There isn't really anything else I can do."

And that my friends, is really what it is all about. THAT, my friends, is what we are to be doing ourselves. While I know that there was a certain amount of frustration in my son's heart at the lack of action to be taken on behalf of this friend, I also know that he is learning a crucial life lesson. We cannot fix the broken around us. We cannot. But we can pray. And we can leave them in the hands of The One who mends broken hearts. We can give them our love, our acceptance, our support, our help. But for true healing, for true repair, we are powerless. Until we pray.

Today, our church family launches a 21-day season of prayer and fasting. This conversation with my son will be ringing in my ears for the whole 21 days. I have many things I want to see God do in me over these three weeks. I cannot make any of these things happen. I cannot move the mountains in my life, nor in the lives of those that I love. But I can pray. And so I will. I'm planning for these next three weeks of posts to be my reflections on that journey. I'd love for you to share your heart and your experiences as I reflect on what God is saying during this time.

Let's pray.

I Am Wrecked

This video clip was the opening to the final session of the Financial Peace University classes that The Boss and I have been taking at our home church.  Though I had seen it before, this time around, it had quite a different effect on me.

It wrecked me for the rest of the night.

Heck, it's Friday and I still feel wrecked.

There is a lot that The Boss and I feel in our hearts that God has for us and for our commitment to live debt-free.  It's been a long road and we've made some great progress.  It's been very humbling to see the freedom that our healthy choices are affording us now. But, being very honest, in the course of the 13-week classes, it's also been very discouraging at times. Thinking about the foolish things we did that landed us in this position. See, before we moved to our current community, we were almost debt-free. We had been living on a strict budget, we were choosing wisely how to spend and it was working well for us. When we moved, we lost our focus. We lost our motivation. It only took a few years of living mindlessly to create the mess.

We've been working (mostly) diligently to fix the mess and restore our finances to integrity for almost 4 years now. It's been a long four years and many times during these 13 weeks, I felt like the topics didn't connect to our current situation. Like we would never "get there." Hanging in there till the end of the series was an act of obedience for me and the last session totally framed, for both The Boss and I, just WHY we needed to take the class (even though we were already living most of the principles of the program).  It was just the shot in the arm that I needed to keep living with the strict guidelines and a plan in place.

Cuz, guys?  The last session was basically this:

It's All HIS.

I am just a manager.

When I hold it all loosely in my hand,

I am free to do with it what HE wants me to do.

Nothing terribly new or revelatory in that. Nothing we haven't known for these past four years. In fact, these past four years, we've worked hard on our finances and re-ordered our home to live according to that very principle. But again, with that video clip opening the whole summation of the series, it hit me differently when I I heard it this time.

See, that couple in the video that received the trampoline and the very large check to pay off debt?  I'm not gonna lie - in this particular stage of my life, while waiting and waiting for mei-mei and longing for the day that I can start throwing around all the acronyms and initials of adoption again? I would LOVE to be the recipient of a gift like that. Of an investment by another godly couple into my family.

But really?  Far beyond the addition of our family by the next adoption that we are waiting on God to engineer  in His timing and plan?  Far beyond the "knowing" when our family is complete and resting in that sense of being "done"?  In my heart of hearts, I want to us be that couple that gave. I want to be such an excellent manager of HIS resources in our home that I can hear His voice prompting us to come alongside another family who is waiting for their own mei-mei. I want to share the blessings from His hand with my neighbors. I want to be a giver who invests in other families freely, generously, and without thought to "how I might afford it." I want to live in such a way that His resources flow through my hands, in ways that will build His people. That will build His kingdom.

Yeah, that video wrecked me. But the wrecking has been going on for a while now. And I am praying that it keeps on wrecking me - till His work for me is done.

"Every time you cross my mind, I break out in exclamations of thanks to God. Each exclamation is a trigger to prayer. I find myself praying for you with a glad heart. I am so pleased that you have continued on in this with us, believing and proclaiming God's Message, from the day you heard it right up to the present. There has never been the slightest doubt in my mind that the God who started this great work in you would keep at it and bring it to a flourishing finish on the very day Christ Jesus appears." ~ Philippians 1:3-6 (emphasis mine)

Say I Love You

Many of you may have heard by now that my dad had an emergency triple by-pass on Friday afternoon. I, and my two sibs who live locally, went right up to be with my mom during the surgery. The Boss held down the fort here at home so that we could focus our time and attention on Mom and Dad.  It was very, very difficult to see him so incapacitated on Friday night and earlier on Saturday morning. But by the time I left the hospital on Sunday afternoon, he was looking much more like himself. He'd had a lap around the nurses' station, was sitting up joking and talking with us and even eating light meals.

We are incredibly grateful for the hand of the Lord that kept Dad from permanent heart damage - according to the doctor, it's a miracle that he hadn't suffered a major heart attack thus far, when considering where the blockages were and how critical they were to major blood flow. We're also grateful that the hospital was able to assemble a team so quickly and that "the number one guy" was available to head that team. Further, we are so appreciative for the prayers, compassion, support and help that folks lent us over the weekend. It was a beautiful thing to see my mom so well cared for, and to hear of the loving prayers that folks were praying on our behalf.  I'm feeling incredibly blessed to still have my Daddy alive and kicking AND to feel the support of so many friends and family around me today.

Please keep my dad and my mom in your prayers moving forward toward recovery. It will be quite a few weeks before he is released to resume any "light duty" of regular life and we all want to see him come out of this refreshed and healed well. "Light" duty isn't really in his vocabulary!

Be sure to say "I love you" today and often. When emergencies like this happen, that love gives strength that you can't even imagine.

"You Need to Be There"

Twenty years ago, sometime in the mid-fall, our then-Sr. Pastor tapped me on the shoulder after morning services.  I remember it like it was yesterday. It was one of those moments that you look back upon and your heart and mind say, "Ahhhh, that's what that was all about."

He asked how the newlywed Boss and I were doing, how we were adjusting and settling in. We chatted very briefly and then he said, "My daughter and her husband are starting a small group just for young married couples at their home tonight. You guys need to be there."

So, we went.  I mean, when your Sr. Pastor stops you and tells you "you need to be there,"  you don't much question that. At least, I didn't. (But then, I'm a first-born and I love to please the authority figures in my life. Even more so when I was just a young 20-something!)

When I look back on it now, I realize that this was the night that our connection at  that church moved from "attendance" to "relationship." That night, we met couples that walked with us, cried with us, rejoiced with us, over the course of the last 20 years. That night, we started on a journey of intentionally connecting with other folks who were ahead of us in the journey of marriage. Couples who were just starting out with us as newlyweds. And even a few couples who were newly-engaged and soaking in all the preparations they could. It's from that group that our two or three most significant adult relationships have sprung. And those relationships have grown, flexed, and sustained us in ways that only the dearest and most intimate of friends possibly can over all the ages and stages that life together brings us all.

This weekend, we are setting off to enjoy a reunion of that original small group and all of the multiple groups  that have come out of its core over the past twenty years. Some of the folks we'll get to see are ones with whom we have lost touch. But they were there at the beginning of our journey and it will be wonderful to re-connect. Some of the folks we'll bump into will be from different generations of that original group as it multiplied out and gave birth to other young-marrieds groups over the last 20 years. And I can't wait to meet some new folks that I know will be there as a result of the group's place in their own journey. I don't know all of them yet, but that's okay. I know where they came from.

That night, 20 years ago, was a touchstone for our marriage. For our newly-begun adult life. And for many, many other newly-married couples over the past 20 years that group has functioned as the same point of connecting. It's exciting to look at all the lives that have been shaped and formed by that ministry. By the core of that original group in some manner. It's a family tree of sorts. A healthy family tree in the life and growth of a healthy church - just as it's supposed to be. The last twenty years have yielded great fruit. Great legacy. We are so grateful to have been there for the start of it all.

To James and Trina, for your passion to see couples build healthy and strong foundations for their families, The Boss and I (and our many gang members!) thank you.

To Chuck and Susan, your ministry and training and mentoring over these 20 years, starting that memorable night in James and Trina's living room, has made a lasting impact on our marriage and our parenting.

To Brett & Teresa and Ron & Sherry, for your sustaining, unconditional, consistent love and friendship, The Boss and I thank you. We could not have started this journey and lasted on it so long without any of you by our sides. In our homes. In our hearts.

And finally, to Pastor Larry, for your sensitivity to the Spirit's leading, The Boss and I thank you.

You were right, we needed to be there.