Merry Christmas From The Gang!

It's a beautiful chilly Sunday afternoon here at The Gang's Headquarters. Most of the gang is here, sprawled out watching football or Octonauts, coming down off the sugar high that is characteristic of our traditional Cookie Decorating Day. We're waiting for Shaggy and the lovely Miss A to arrive for family pictures and a late dinner together. It's the first quiet, peaceful afternoon we've had together for far too long. 

With the pace we've been keeping and the many "out of the ordinary" additions to the calendar that have come these last ten days, we only just this weekend got around to making holiday treats. Normally, I spread the baking out over three weeks so it works out that I'm replenishing the batches continuously. Like, a slow steady month-long IV drip of butter and sugar. It's glorious! This year, I just couldn't get that routine up and running and The Gang has been letting me know of the lack of holiday treats around here. No one has ever accused me of doing things half-heartedly and in the last 48 hours, LadyBug and I have made 3 double and 1 triple batch of The Gang's favorites. There's Christmas bark, Butter Pecan Turtle bars, German Christmas Cookies (now fully frosted and beautifully decorated) all filling up my cookie bins and my fridge at once. It's glorious! All that was missing were Shaggy's favorite White Chip Orange Craisin Cookies and I could hang up my apron. 

It should have been no surprise to me that by lunch-time today, I was operating in auto-pilot. As in, everything I've made in the last two days has required a lot of brown sugar. A. LOT. Turns out, auto-pilot may just have produced my new favorite cookie of all time!!!! Since they turned out so incredibly tasty and rich, I thought I'd give a present to all of you and share the {BRAND SPANKIN' NEW} recipe!

White Chip Orange Craisin Cookies

1/2 c. butter, softened

1/2 c. butter-flavored shortening, softened
          (This is tweak #1 - the original recipe calls for 1 c. butter)

1 1/2 c. dark brown sugar, packed

           (This is where autopilot came in - the original recipe called for white sugar.

            So I set about tweaking the recipe from this "mistake." This TASTY mistake!)

2 eggs

1 tsp. vanilla

1 1/2 tsp. orange extract

           (This is tweak #2 - the original recipe doesn't call for any.)

1 Tbsp. orange zest or dried orange peel

2 c. flour

1 tsp. baking powder

1/2 tsp. salt

1/4 tsp. baking soda

2 c. oats

1 c. craisins

1 c. white baking chips

Preheat your oven to 375.

Cream together the butter, shortening, and sugar. When fluffy, add eggs and beat in vanilla and orange extracts.

Slowly add the orange zest, flour, baking powder, salt and baking soda. Blend till all dry ingredients are incorporated.

Fold in oats, craisins, and white baking chips. Batter will be thick and heavy. And SUPER YUMMY!

Bake at 375 for 10-12 minutes until edges are dry but do NOT overbake these goodies.

True confession time: the original recipe on which this one is based is an old W#*ght W@tchers favorite that called for things like "light butter," a sugar/sugar substitute blend, and egg whites. NOT that that particular version ever really got made around here.... because, well, "light butter?" As if. I mean, I might have made it the W#*ght W@tchers way once, a looooong time ago. But never again. Ever. And now? With the change-out from white sugar to lovely dark rich brown sugar? Oh.MY.LANDS. I ain't NEVER goin' back, sister friend. NEVER.

So, there ya have it. Thank you, auto-pilot! You are my new bestie bestie, as Mei Mei says. About everyone. Ha!

Merry Christmas

from The Gang's Momma and her gang!

My Tapestry

See that babe in arms? That's my Uncle Johnny. He passed away yesterday, leaving a legacy of kindness, gentleness, and love of family. He was the last of my grandfather's siblings to pass away, the youngest son in a big, loving, Italian family.

Of course, none of them were perfect, but every single memory I have of these great-uncles and great-aunts is just that: GREAT.

Outbursts of laughter around overloaded tables.

Good-natured teasing and bickering.

Stories of stark but happy childhood.

Bear hugs & kisses until you were gasping for breath.

And yes, food. LOTS and LOTS of food at every single gathering.

OH! THE! FOOD!

Not a bad way to grow up. Not at all.

By now, you all know I'm hopelessly sentimental when it comes to matters of family and legacy. Uncle Johnny's passing has provoked a myriad of memories all rife with emotion today. Anchoring all of those feelings is an overwhelming gratitude, I'm so incredibly grateful for the great big tapestry that both sets of my grandparents' generation wove for me and my generation.

This tapestry has been many things

for many people in our family.

A work of art, giving testament to the family's status and standing in society. A witness, if you will, of that which they have achieved together.

A rich backdrop, giving color, depth, and texture to our collective coming story as new immigrants to this country. Bringing their history to their present.

A thick and stable rug to stand upon, when building a life together. A plush but firm "take your stance" kind of setting point.

A soft landing place, a net of sorts that was wide and secure into which they could fall when hard times rocked them off their feet.

A warm wrap into which they could burrow when life felt cold and brutal.

Today, we mostly think of intricate tapestries as works of art to be hung on a wall. But a true family-woven tapestry wasn't always meant to be just gazed at and admired. Admittedly, we aren't as familiar with the many uses that a hand-woven, artfully crafted tapestry can have in today's world. We don't need one piece to do all those things anymore. We have Wayf@ir for rugs and T@rget for sweaters, right? But if you look back in history, family tapestries had many functions beyond their artisan beauty.

It strikes me that my family tapestry has both beauty and function that is sadly becoming more and more rare in this culture in which we live. I'm proud to declare that I will stay anchored to both families who wove this tapestry before me. I will continue to teach my children well in the art of weaving their rows to grow it strong and beautiful for generations to come.

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Uncle Johnny, say hi to Grandpa Sam for me. Enjoy your reunion and your time to worship Jesus to the strains of heavenly Italian opera with him. You are missed here. All of you.

Why Break With Tradition?!

It's time for the annual First Day of School post. And for the "First Time In Forever," you all get the added treat of updated peeks at my gorgeous gang. I know, it's been a while since you've seen their faces 'round these parts o' the blogosphere!

{You are more than welcome for THAT ear-worm... 

it's blasting in the kitchen right now and I succumbed. 

I am weak. I admit it. And now I'm laughing at you

because you are hearing Ana in your head just like I am.}

Anyhoo.

Our "bonus daughter" had a VERY momentous First Day yesterday. She returned to us late Friday night from summer at home with her family in Beijing. She's still a bit jet-lagged and trying not to be anxious about all the SAT prep work she has ahead of her and layered on top of her Honors course load. In spite of it all, she made it to the bus on time and is officially a SENIOR!!!!!!

Today, we sent our LadyBug back to the public school bright and early. For those not following me on F@cebook, she came home in January to do cyber-schooling after some health issues that made the public school pace and routine pretty hard to manage. It was a great season of refreshment and retreat for her and she is confident that she is ready to handle her JUNIOR year. Seriously, how did this sneak up on me like this?

Next to head out the door was Li'l Empress. This girly of ours was so ready for her new school year to start. She's super excited to be in the upstairs of her building - it's a milestone that all the rising third graders wildly anticipate in our little school community. Yes, I said it. THIRD. GRADE.

After Li'l Empress climbed happily on her bus, Mei Mei and I ran inside to finish getting ready for the morning. Then we were OFF to the elementary school for their annual Back To School Celebration. It's always so fun to meet the new teachers, say hi! to the old teachers, and catch up with friends after the long summer apart. I'm particularly thrilled that Li'l Empress is going to be with her sweet little buddy "S" again this year. She's a sweet friend and so very encouraging and kind to all her classmates. It goes a LOOOOONG way for my girl to have that security and confidence in her friendships.

As soon as Li'l Empress' class was escorted into the building to start the day, my little Mei Mei fell apart in a puddle of tears. She kept saying over and over, "I miss my sissen" and wiping her tears with her Beebee. She was a soggy mess by the time we got to the van. It was decided that a little pit stop at the local Chick-Fil-A was in order, to cheer our spirits and distract both of us from missing our Li'l Empress.

Then, suddenly, it was time. Yes, that's right, the day has arrived. Mei Mei began her first day of PRE-SCHOOL today. Oh, my heart. This girl was a STITCH to listen to once I told her it was time to get ready for her drive to school. Giggling to herself while I dressed her. Wiggling in her seat trying to eat lunch. Covering her mouth in "OH!'s" of anticipation and looking over my shoulder on the 5 minute drive to see if we were "dere yet?"

Until we walked into the building. Upon which time she started muttering under her breath, "I not want go pee-kool, Momma" over and over like some tribal chant. I exercised HERCULEAN effort to not crack up and to take her anxiety as seriously as she wanted me to, but man, it was hard. SUCH a HOOT.

Oh, and yes, Yes, that IS in fact the very same dress that Li'l Empress wore on her very first day of pre-school. I'm totally a sap like that and I am so excited that she chose it from the line-up. And that I'm still smarter than my kids most of the time to make her THINK she chose it. Yeah. I still got it, baby!

I hung out with her for about 20 minutes, chatting with the teachers and helping her feel comfortable. It was fun to point out to her all the things that Li'l Empress enjoyed when she was a student there. Once she was sufficiently distracted and feeling comfortable, I headed out and the teachers reported that she only cried for about five minutes. And I didn't cry at all. :)

It sure helped to have her little buddy in the classroom - he's the youngest son of the director from our adoption agency AND LadyBug babysat for him and his big brother all summer long. Here she is watching for his car to pull up to the drop-off door. Both his mom and I got the story later that they held hands when they walked together and that he is her new "bess fren." So cute!!!!!

When we headed back to pick her up at the end of the afternoon, her very first words to us were "I had SUPER! FUN! today! Mom!" She had all kinds of great stories to share and pretty much was wiped out and ready for bed by 6:30.

You might have noticed that BBE has no First Day pictures. That's because the poor kid got hit with a a nasty tummy bug that kept him up most of last night. Prayers that no one else gets it here would be so appreciated. We have BIG family plans for the holiday weekend and we've been looking forward to them for the whole summer long!

So there you have it. The Traditional First Day wrap up. Thanks for hanging in there for it all. Hopefully soon I will have something incredibly wise and deep and important to write about. Till then, all these cute pictures of my kids make me happy. And it's my blog, so that's all that really matters, right?

Hope your First Days were momentous and memorable too. Here's to a GREAT 2015~2016 school year!!!!!

Summer Fun... {A wrap up and a recipe!}

We started and ended our summer with some pretty significant parties. There's not much this Momma loves more than a big celebration of friends and family. And we've had LOTS of fun entertaining this summer, now that the deck and pool area are finished and the landscaping is grown in. The grass is lush and we still, even months later, are raving to ourselves about how restful and refreshing it is in our backyard. We have our own mini-retreat center after years of battling weeds, ugly rocks, ground-boring bees, and drab, colorless aesthetics. I'm so proud of the hard work that The Boss and my blue-eyed boy put in together to create this haven for our friends and family. 

Freshly washed and ready for the first big event back in May!

LadyBug had a Sweet 16 Bonfire and Night Swim party

on the Friday of Memorial Day weekend.

We "upped" the awesome factor by throwing

over 200 glow sticks into the pool once it was totally dark.

It was SO pretty!

BBE filled 11 hanging baskets with wave petunias in brilliant

red and purple for her party and for the second event,

my mom's 70th b'day celebration just two days later.

All these weeks later and the petunias are still hanging in there!!!!

So at the OTHER end of the summer fun was the Pool Party

we hosted for the local-to-us members of our adoption agency community. 

It was a great mix of old friends and new,

including some beloved staff members from the agency.

Everyone brought their own meat to grill for dinner plus a dessert or side dish to share. I'm telling you this because I made this amazing potato salad that MUST be shared before potato salad season officially winds down. I made it last week for a family event at my parents' house and it was such a hit that I had to try it again. Yes, I made it up. It's a tweak on The Boss's favorite Red Bliss Potato Salad but with a couple twists.

Blue Cheese & Bacon Potato Salad

 5 lbs red potatoes, washed and cut in bite-size pieces.
Boiled in salted water till fork-tender

and then set aside to cool to room temperature.

Equal parts of blue cheese dressing and light mayonnaise.

For 5 lbs of potatoes that is about 1 cup of each.

I particularly like this brand of dressing as it's yogurt based 

and so smooth without being too thick or rich for mixing.

**I am NOT being paid to endorse any of these brand name products.**

Oh, how I wish I were.

About 1 c. (give or take to preference) of crumbled bacon

1 medium Vidalia sweet onion, diced

1 (4-6 oz.) container of blue cheese crumbles

Parsley to mix in to taste AND parsley to garnish on the top.

Mix it all together very well, making sure that

 the salad is a little thicker than you wish for it to be when

serving time actually comes. It will loosen up when refrigerated.

This is one of those salads that DEFINITELY tastes better

when it sits in the refrigerator overnight for the flavors to blend. 

It pairs really well with any beef you might be grilling, 

but it's also super yummy with Balsamic Vinaigrette Marinated Chicken!

Next up will be The Gang's annual "First Day of School" post. I can hardly believe summer is over and my gang is all heading off to school already. ESPECIALLY, {gasp} our little Mei Mei. She's heading off to the sweet little pre-school that Li'l Empress attended when she was 3 and 4. I'm under no illusions that this will be an easy transition for her but we've been talking it up big for the last three weeks and her tour of the building and intake assessment will hopefully still be in her memory banks as a positive experience.

Heh.

One can hope, right? Right?! Sigh... I'm not even sure I believe that. But I'm telling myself that over and over, particularly when she melts down over me leaving her side to run to the grocery store or meeting a friend for lunch. EVERY time. Pray for us, ya'll. Just pray.

Here I Lay My Ebeneezer

I had a really cool experience today. The Boss and I took Mei Mei to our local Intermediate Unit location to have an Occupational Therapy assessment performed. Back in June, her speech therapist and I noticed some fine motor skills and a couple processing issues that have been lagging behind. Nothing is super alarming, but when these particular skills are taken in relation or proportion to the progress that she is continuing to make in the other areas of her development, it is worth checking out.

We are preparing to send her to pre-school in the fall and this time of year when her IEP is being renewed, we are especially mindful of all of the areas of development that need our continued attention. The new IEP and the results of this evaluation will also be super useful in determining exactly HOW much she has caught up in the areas that sometimes fly under the radar (ya know, when one is the youngest of 6 kids in a very busy, active household.being made in other areas) and how to get her moving forward in other skills.

The OT also gave us a sensory profile to complete while they worked together at a separate table. (Have you ever filled one of those out?! Oh, man they are so cool. I was really getting into it, thinking about the answers for Mei Mei and then how I'd answer for Li'l Empress. Times like this make me feel like I ought to go back to school and get another degree!)  Anyhoo.... As I was reading the questions and ranging out the answers, I was also listening to Mei Mei interact with the evaluator and giggling at how our girl has grown in the two years since she's been home.

Full interactive conversation.

{Almost} complete sentences.

{Almost} completely understandable to a stranger.

And big dashes of her own little {okay, who am I kidding, HUGE!}

personality thrown in just to keep the evaluator on her toes.

It was pure delight to observe and think on for those moments. I know I'm biased, but the evaluator commented several times about "how much fun" this kid is. Make no mistake, she had to be brought back to task quite a few times and reminded to use her polite kind words to express herself. But she really was so much fun to watch.

I sat there for a few seconds as it was wrapping up, just immersed in gratitude. I'm so thankful for the moments when God stops me in my hustle bustle to show me where we've been and where we are heading. It was so much MORE than the assessment of skills in that moment, it almost felt "holy" - like my very own "Ebenezer."

1 Samuel 7:12 (NIV)

“Then Samuel took a stone and set it up

between Mizpah and Shen. He named it Ebenezer, 

saying, “Thus far the Lord has helped us.”

"Come Thou Fount of Every Blessing"

by Robert Robinson, 1757

Come, Thou Fount of every blessing,
Tune my heart to sing Thy grace;
Streams of mercy, never ceasing,
Call for songs of loudest praise.
Teach me some melodious sonnet,
Sung by flaming tongues above.
Praise the mount! I'm fixed upon it,
Mount of Thy redeeming love.

Sorrowing I shall be in spirit,
Till released from flesh and sin,
Yet from what I do inherit,
Here Thy praises I'll begin;
Here I raise my Ebenezer;
Here by Thy great help I've come;
And I hope, by Thy good pleasure,
Safely to arrive at home.

Jesus sought me when a stranger,
Wandering from the fold of God;
He, to rescue me from danger,
Interposed His precious blood;
How His kindness yet pursues me
Mortal tongue can never tell,
Clothed in flesh, till death shall loose me
I cannot proclaim it well.

O to grace how great a debtor
Daily I'm constrained to be!
Let Thy goodness, like a fetter,
Bind my wandering heart to Thee.
Prone to wander, Lord, I feel it,
Prone to leave the God I love;
Here's my heart, O take and seal it,
Seal it for Thy courts above.

O that day when freed from sinning,
I shall see Thy lovely face;
Clothed then in blood washed linen
How I'll sing Thy sovereign grace;
Come, my Lord, no longer tarry,
Take my ransomed soul away;
Send thine angels now to carry
Me to realms of endless day.

It's Perfect!

So I've been looking for a while. Knowing what I wanted, digging through retail sites, wasting far too much time on Am@zon and e-b@y trying to find what I knew existed in my head and must SOMEHOW, SOMEWHERE exist in real life. I could see it in my mind's eye. I knew it had to be out there and I was determined to find it.

What was it for which I was searching, you ask?

Why, the perfect family ornament, of course.

I was going crazy... crazy enough to start thinking about making my own. Really. Like I have the time or the energy or the resources to start ANOTHER project this month. Heh. Like I have the time to sit and search for hours, googling key word after key word. Oh, whatEVER.

In my defense, I think the 10,000 viewings of Despicable Me

has turned my logic skills to mush this month.

In my defense of the said 10,000 viewings,

it's the only thing that distracts Mei Mei completely

and totally from her pain and activity limitations.

There. I feel better. All those disclaimers and explanations....

Apparently, sleep deprivation messes with my ability to be succinct, too.

I slapped myself out of my delirium and put the word out to my very-connected F@cebook friends.Yes, I harnessed the power of social media for my own gain. Dude. I'm so 2013.

I knew it had to be something like this one, which I found the year after Li'l Empress came home. You know, back when we thought (ha!) we might be done building up our gang's population. I do love it. After all, it is perfect for our folk-art style decor but it's dated wrongly (she came home in 2008 and it's dated 2009). But it had to be different. And again, so far that different existed in my head but I was looking for it in "hard copy."

So, on the advice of several of those friends,

I turned to Etsy. I mean really. What CAN'T you find at Etsy?

Just a few clicks is all it took. A link here and a link there.

I found it. It's perfect. And I love it.

This is The Gang's un-officially official Forever Family ornament.

2013. The year that The Gang is {finally} all here. Home. Forever.

The Gang's All Here. And it's literally "set in stone."

And I love it.

If you like it, go check out Rosi's Place.

Tell her The Gang's Momma sent you. Check out all the beautiful stone work.

I'm certain you will find at least one or two things you will love.

Why don't you head over there now and look.

Come on back and leave me a comment about your faves!

For my friends who prefer to support businesses

that are run by adoption-hearted folks,

I'm thrilled to tell you that Rosi has two beautiful

children adopted internationally.

**(I was not paid or given any discount for the review of this product.

I simply am happy with my purchase and wish to share a great resource with you all.

And I might still be a little delirious, as I'm hearing minions in my head almost daily now.

And yes, I'm very aware that this is a lot of fuss and bother about a little ornament.

Again. I'm a tad delirious. Go with it. It's working for me for now.)

Moments. {two weeks}

It turns out, I was right in feeling {unprepared} for all that the last two weeks have held for this gang. Until you've lived through something like this, there's really no way you can fully prepare for the experience. EVEN if you have the most awesome support network of "been there done that" mommas sharing their experiences and advice. EVEN if you have an amazing crowd of friends and family praying you through and supporting you practically and emotionally. Which, I am so grateful to say, I do. But still. {unprepared} I was.

I'm not gonna lie. These last two weeks since Mei Mei's surgery have been hard. The day of the surgery, frankly, was likely the easiest of the days that we had while IN the hospital. (We waited. She slept. And oddly, I only felt momentary flashes of nervous anxiety over her care or well-being. SO. SO. grateful for that.)

And just this past Saturday we finally experienced the easiest day-into-overnight since we returned home from our four day stay. In between those good days, we've crammed all kinds of hard moments. Sleepless nights. Night terrors. Temper tantrums. Pain management gone awry. Lost patience. Ugly behavior. And not all of it was Mei Mei.

But in between those good days, we've also crammed a lot of really great moments. Those are the moments on which I am (sometimes hourly) choosing to focus. Those are the moments that the Lord uses to swing my eyes back to HIM and HIS perfect plan for Mei Mei. For our family. It's an act of discipline, this choosing to focus. Especially at this time of year.

Mei Mei got the honor of placing the first ornament
on her first-ever Christmas tree. Yes, I cried.

I could (and am sorely tempted to) stress over the anger and aggression that comes bubbling up out of her in those difficult moments. I could keep looking at that "holiday To Do list" that isn't getting smaller any time soon and despair of ever finishing it in time. I could sink into the flashing moments of Mommy-guilt and inadequacy, wallowing in the fear that I'm not meeting the needs of the other gang members, in the every day and in the fervor of the holiday. I could, I could, I could. And really, I've struggled NOT to.

But then there are these other moments. These moments when HE comes to me and whispers to my heart. Snippets of Scripture memorized as a child. Refrains of songs and hymns buried deep in my heart. I've said it before but it bears repeating. In these moments, I am so incredibly grateful for parents who trained me in The Word. Who taught me to seek His face in good and in bad moments. Who encouraged me and lived out the example that joy comes NOT in the circumstances but in the confidence and security of being HIS CHOSEN CHILD. It has carried me well in these last two weeks.

First cookie decorating party ever! Not sure how much icing went on the cookies.
Last year, only 3 of our kids were home for this tradition.
This year, The Gang was ALL here. Yes, I cried.

I am convinced, in all of these moments, both hard and healing, that the prayers of the Body of Christ carried us. I am convinced that His Word is powerful and full of Truth that rises above the difficult moments. I am convinced, now more than ever, that HE HAS CHOSEN ME for this time. For this child. For even in those moments where I feel like I'm failing miserably at all of it, He speaks to me. In those moments when I wonder if my inadequate and all-too human response to my daughter's broken-ness is doing more damage than good, He offers me HIS response.

It's those moments when I get the second wind to go just a little deeper into her heart. It's those moments when I get a fresh fire to escort her to the healing He has for her. Those moments, even the hardest of moments, I remember that they are just that: moments. By definition, moments (both hard and exultant) are fleeting. He is not. He holds those moments. Each and every one of them.

Family Day {5}

I can hardly believe it but here we are we are celebrating the awesome milestone of Li'l Empress joining our family five years ago today!

Five.Years.

Wow.

Here's a look back at the joyful! exuberant! "little fiery one!" that is our girl...

Getting to know her Daddy.

Charming her Daddy is more like it!

Such! a! BIG! personality!

Soaking in all the last rays of summer...

Such a little fashionista.

(It would just be wrong to call her a ham here...)

Proud to participate in her

first "Eagles Spirit Day" as a new Kindergartner.

And today. 6 years old. Thriving in her first grade class.

Learning how to be an excellent big sister.

And still charming her Daddy with her beautiful smile.

Happy Five Year Family Day, Li'l Empress.

You are a treasure and a gift to our whole family.

Your sunshiny spirit and joyful manner brightens everyone's day

and we love that you LIVE! BIG! and LOVE! BIG!

with your whole heart.

We are so thankful God brought you to this home,

to this family, FOREVER!

We LOVE you!

The Joy Is Greater

Mei Mei turned 2 on June 30th. It was a beautiful day to celebrate our girl, even if the weather wasn't perfectly cooperative.

The cousins swam, we ate burgers and dogs, Grandma Bonnie made her FABLIOUS (Li'l Empress' new word o' the day!) macaroni salad, and we enjoyed a perfect day together. It was awesome to watch her blow out her candles - she knew JUST what to do, as The Boss had his big 45th birthday just a few days earlier.

It was such a treat to introduce her to our family birthday traditions and to make sure that her first birthday home with us was grand and memorable! I loved watching her figure out that the gifts were for HER. That ripping open that paper would bring a fun new surprise guaranteed to make us all "oooh and "aaaah" while she explored it. It was pure joy seeing her new family just wrap her up in all their love and affection and carry her along on the wake of "forever."

 

But when I had a few moments alone to think and observe the goings' on, I was also a little sad. I watched her giggling and teasing her cousin with her trademark impish grin and wondered what her birth mother was feeling at that same moment. I couldn't escape the thought that her birth family will never know what an amazing, delightful, brilliant child she is. That pierces my heart each and every time I think on it.

While we may never fully know exactly what led them to place her at the orphanage, we certainly understand that her physical needs and health issues might have been the predominant factor in their choice. Culturally and economically speaking, it's likely that they were completely ill-equipped to handle what they knew she likely would need. But it couldn't have been an easy choice for them, knowing what a gorgeous and sweet baby she must have been. The early pictures of her just take my breath away - her perfect little rosebud lips, her long sweeping eyelashes, and those deep onyx eyes. Thinking of it tears me apart - their pain and fear juxtaposed against what I can only (maybe niaveley?) assume was utter joy in looking at their pretty new baby girl. I don't know any of it for sure, obviously, and I can only suppose any of this from my readings and experiences within the adoption community.

I am everlastingly grateful for the choice they made for Mei Mei - the attempts to ensure her safety and well-being, the plan to find security and medical care for their beautiful baby. I pray for their peace of mind and comfort for their hearts often.

I am forever bound to the women who carried my daughters and I don't let myself forget it. My gratitude unspoken makes me hug my daughters a little tighter. Linger a little longer in their sweet snuggles at the end of the day. Love them a little more fiercely than I thought myself capable of doing.

So I joined the celebrations, juggling my mixed feelings. As I also do for all of Li'l Empress's birthdays and milestones. As I will for years to come, I'm sure. And celebrate, I did. For even though the losses are indeed great, the joy is greater. The endlessness of forever promises that.

Happy Birthday, America!

Oh.My.Word. I can hardly believe it's the 4th of July already. At the risk of sounding trite and cliched, seriously: Where did the month of June go?! I have so much to catch up on and will have to do some backing up of events like the end of the school year, Mei Mei's birthday, and all things momentous. I've mentioned before that Mei Mei does NOT tolerate me sitting at my desktop very well and it really hasn't gotten better. When she's awake, I'm hustling to get something done around here and clean up the messes and STUFF she gets into while trying to "hep" me. And when she's asleep, I'm trying to finish all that I started when she's awake. Or I'm crashing in exhaustion myself. This little one is a spunky little busybody and she seriously is never ever still. Even in her sleep, her little toes and fingers are in motion. Which I know because she's spent the last four mornings in bed with me, snuggled in to go back to sleep after waking at o'dark thirty. Oh.MY.WORD! Anyhoo, that's my disclaimer going in... more to come on other big stuff later!

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This year, the 4th of July is taking on some new meaning for The Gang. It's now forever linked with an important anniversary that we will always mark as a family. Yesterday, our son, known here as Dr. D, enlisted in the U.S. Army Reserves. It's been a long time coming, as he's been praying, researching, and meeting with recruiters of various branches of the armed services since January. But truthfully, it's a calling and a path that The Boss and I have seen growing within our boy since he was a very young child. We are very excited and proud of his single-minded focus to figure out what was the best path for his career and at the same time, nervous and concerned about what this choice means for his life. But this has been in his blood a long, long time and we know God has great plans for whatever twists and turns this path will unfold along the way.

Dr. D has an unusually developed sense of honor, justice and loyalty to country and there's no doubt that he's been deeply affected by world events in his 17 years of life, when viewed through those lenses. I so enjoy listening to his heart, full of idealism and pride in what our nation means to him. I love that he gets legitimately upset at those around him who fail to summon proper respect when the Pledge of Allegiance is spoken at school or other events. His pride in our flag, his respect and honor for the men and women who serve the armed services around him, the rapt attention he pays to his grandfather's stories of their own service, all of it speaks of a deep identification and camaraderie that he is now so excited to be a part of. When he arrived home yesterday after the trip out to Ft. Dix for his official enlistment event, he was beaming. We've always known that he is a kid who NEEDS to identify with a cause or a purpose bigger than himself, and it's a point of great pride for us both that he has found his niche. This niche.

And just like that, I've got a new label to add to my own resume.... As a dear friend mentioned to me on FB yesterday, I'm now a military mom. I even get my own bumper sticker for my van that says so!

Here's some pics of our little attempts at home to honor Dr. D since we couldn't be with him for the actual enlistment ceremony. He was surprised that we did all this for him, but really, he should know me better than that by now! This momma does love to celebrate, especially something so amazing for one of my gang!

Here he is, the newest soldier to join the ranks the U.S. Army.

And just because no celebration of America's birthday

would be complete without a picture (or two!) 

of the cutest little new citizen in town, I give you these!

MWAH! Happy Birthday, America!!!!

I love my new country!

"Daddy's Sweetheart"

and an

"American Cutie"

It just doesn't get better than that!

Two Months!

I can't believe it's been two months today since we met our sweet little Mei Mei in person. Recently, we've been watching episodes of "The Little Couple" on TLC and this week's show brought back so many amazing memories of the first days with both of our girls. The whirlwind of our new normal around here has been too fast-paced with far too many doctor appointments, therapy meetings, and end-of-the-year school activities to recount each of them since I last posted. But I do feel like a look back at our girly over these last 8 weeks together might be fun.

This is one of the first pictures we got before we started

peeling her many layers of clothing off her on Gotcha Day.

That sad, kind of vacant look lasted a good portion of the day.

These two pictures are my favorite from our first day together.

She had finally loosened up a bit to trust us to change

her diaper and finish taking down all the layers.

This sweatshirt is one that we had sent to her

back at Christmas time.

After filling her little belly with puffs, yogurt melts, and ramen,

we were getting some smiles out of her.

By the time we were ready to all hit the hay,

about 14 hours after holding her for the first time,

we had been treated to a couple tiny little attempts at giggles.

This is May 8th, as close to the ONE MONTH

mark from Gotcha Day that I could find in my files.

She had discovered that week how much fun

it is to have her hair played with and styled.

Her inner girly-girl did NOT stay tucked away inside for long!

 Neither did her inner "make my Daddy laugh" girl!

Once she discovered how funny it was to contort herself

while Daddy was trying to manage her diaper and p.j.'s,

she started coming up with all kinds of fun tricks!

And here she is today, TWO MONTHS

after meeting her for the first time.

I can't believe how she's filling out!

Excuse the greasy Dominoes pizza doubling

as yet another kind of hair product and the fingers in the mouth.

While I'm everlastingly glad she has some means

of self-soothing and comfort,

it was pretty hard to get a picture of her today

WITHOUT those fingers in her mouth.

Four shots at the pediatrician yesterday

and a week-long tummy virus have seen to that for sure.

See that mischievous grin?

Yeah, she loves taunting and teasing with Daddy.

What you can't see is that she is wiggling her fingers under

his hand, trying to get those fingers BACK

into her little pizza-hole.

No time on Daddy's lap is complete without

his tickly, scratchy kisses on her neck and cheeks.

She sure puts on a good show of trying to avoid it

but minutes after I clicked this quick picture,

she was sneaking right back up onto the couch for more!

No doubt about it, bringing this little one home to join our gang has been crazy, busy, chaotic, and noisy. There have been some very difficult moments of transition and adjustment. We've had to digest some hard reports from the doctors and learn some new techniques for communication and managing her needs. And her eating habits have stretched our creativity and patience to the limits. But there are plenty of sweet, loving, crazy, and fun moments to help us get through the hard stuff. And we all agree that she's a perfect fit for our family and we couldn't be more blessed.