today we are heading to a local children's hospital for the first in what will hopefully be just a couple repair procedures for our little mei mei.
it's a pretty big repair. big surgery. big changes.
i'm feeling quite unprepared for what all of this means.
when we left for china to meet mei mei, i had charts, graphs, lists, and calendars filled out, crossed off, and in process. every t was crossed. every i was dotted.
this afternoon, i'm still not sure who's getting whom where and when while i'm at the hospital and the boss is in and out of the office and the house.
when we left for china, i had meals labeled and frozen, groceries purchased, and all the school lunch supplies stockpiled.
this afternoon, i'm pretty sure there's not enough drink pouches in the pantry and the jury is still out on whether or not the milk in the fridge will last past wednesday.
when we left for china, i had laundry totally caught up and every one knew what day was "their" laundry day.
heh. who am i kidding? my laundry system has been out of whack since we returned from china.
when we left for china, i had an itinerary from the agency. i knew what day we'd meet mei mei. i knew what day we'd finalize the adoption. i knew what day we'd tour and when we'd travel on to guangzhou.
today, all i am sure of is we are checking in to the hospital before 6 p.m. surgery begins around 10 a.m. monday morning. the unknown of all the other moments surrounding those two points is starting to freak me out.
and really, that's the core, right there. the unknowns. that's the stuff for which i really feel so unprepared.
from the moment we enter that building, we are facing the beginning of a brand new normal. for us. for mei mei.
all weekend long, really for weeks now, i've been reminding myself that my prepared-ness, or distinct lack thereof, is not really all that important.
what's really important is that i worship THE ONE who holds it all in HIS hands. that HE is never caught unprepared.
and that's enough preparation for me.
it has to be.