Number One

I have this button that came with a cute Mother's Day card from Baby BlueEyes a few years ago. I wore the button that day, but after that I felt kinda silly wearing it. For a variety of reasons. Reasons I'm sure most of my fellow mommas would understand.

It kinda felt "braggy."

It kinda felt like too much pressure.

It definitely didn't match most of my spring clothes.

Ya know, important stuff like that.

Last month, I cleaned out the van. I found the button in the bottom of our "catch-all" basket. Our catch-all basket is full of lollipops for long car trips (to ward off motion sickness and provide good behavior incentive for long shopping trips) and empty bags for trash. Oh, and a couple small car treats for Momma - for those days on the run when I'm anything BUT a stay-at-home momma. 

There in the bottom of the basket was this button. I pinned it on my sun visor. And smiled.

Li'l Empress noticed it RIGHT.AWAY. when I picked her up from school later that morning. She read it out loud, all by herself. And has, every single day since then. (She's very, very big on her little rituals like this one.) 

Yesterday, the conversation took a twist.

Li'l Empress: "Mommy, that button says '#1 Mom,' right?"

"Yup. It does."

Li'l E: "So, YOU! are the NUMBER! ONE! Momma for us, right?"

"Yup. I'm the number one Mommy, just for you. And for Shaggy. And for Dr. D. And LadyBug, and Baby BlueEyes, too."

Li'l E: "And for Mei Mei! Don't forget Mei Mei!"

Momma: "I didn't forget Mei Mei. I never forget about Mei Mei."

Li'l E, more quietly and almost hesitantly: "Mommy?"

"Yes, Li'l E?" - here it comes. This is new to the conversation... I feel myself getting ready to verbally tip-toe.

"Am I the number one Li'l Empress?"

Phew. That's easy. No tip-toeing necessary for this twist! "YES, Li'l Empress! Yes, you are our Number One Li'l Empress forever and ever!"

Very confidently and with a contented (think purring kitty) kind of smile at me in the rear-view mirror she said, "Oh, good. I am the Number One Li'l Empress." 

(Heh. Written out that way, it sounds kinda funny. Like the stories of Ancient Chinese History and the Dowager Mother. Heh.....)

Quietly, almost in a whisper, she said, "And soon Mei Mei will be our Number One Mei Mei."

Sigh. Melt. My. Heart. I love this kid.

The Train is Back on the Tracks!

After 2 weeks of waiting and praying, I am happy to report that the adoption train to Mei Mei is back on the tracks. Chugging via express mail from Cambodia, this much-anticipated form arrived at the front door yesterday.

Last night, The Boss completed the missing information that surrounded Shaggy's original signature, all the way from Cambodia to home, and compiled the entire package of the requested evidence needed to file the Supplement 3.

This morning, he copied it all. As I'm typing this now, he is at the post office arranging for an overnight delivery to the lockbox at USCIS in Texas. Once we receive confirmation that it has been received and logged in to the system, we should also hear that Shaggy's formal request for fingerprinting has been submitted.

It's our understanding that once the request is "in the system" Shaggy is free then to go to the nearest federal offices to be printed. This most likely means that he will head into the nearest USCIS offices once he returns to Colorado next week. We'd, of course, prefer that he have a way to get to the embassy in Pnam Penh sooner than that but it's a good distance from his village to the city. It's idealistic of us, and we know that it is far too much pressure on Shaggy. To boot, it does NOT promise anything in terms of expediting that part of the process according to our Immigrations officer.

As we've mentioned, we do have requests for inquiry in to our local Congressman's office AND our Immigrations Officer has been doing what she can to move this along as quickly as is possible. We feel so grateful for the prayers and the encouragement AND the creative suggestions folks have sent to help us do that on our end.

I know some folks are likely wondering why we've documented here all the details of the process. This is certainly not the exciting or heart-warming part of adoption, is it? But I really want to document it for our daughter. So that she can see what our side of the journey was like as we worked to get her home. I want her to sense our love and our passion for not just making her our daughter in name, but for the fervor we have to surround her in all areas of her life with our love and our unconditional acceptance and care. God's been working something in my heart over the last few months regarding those very things and I'm anxious to get all that down in writing also. Hopefully soon.

But for now, I am sitting back and enjoying the feel of the train moving forward on the tracks to our girl. I can feel it gaining speed in my spirit and I'm glad the derailment looks like it is over!

The Good, The Bad, and the Ugly

The good news is that we just found out (via tracking) that the Supp 1 form from Shaggy (sent a little more than a week ago from Cambodia) was recorded in US Customs on Saturday and processed at a "domestic location." So we know it made it to the US!! Once we get it, we'll send the whole Supplement 3 packet to the USCIS lockbox in TX. From there, it will be sent to MO for Immigration/Adoption processing once again... that's the point at which we hope for the local Congressman's office to "inquire" about our case on our behalf.

Once the Supp. 3 is logged in to the system, we'll arrange to get his fingerprints done in CO (the site to which he is returning state-side first). Again, that's another point at which we hope to "make up some lost time" via the inquiry by our Congressman. Finally, when it all gets sent back to the CCCWA, we expect (in faith!) to hear that they have granted our request for medical expedite based upon her needs.

The bad news is that I have a full slate of appointments and "To Do's" to accomplish today and the weather is worsening here by the minute. By my calculations (and the forecaster's predictions), it's all bound to come to a head at the exact same time I need to pick up the girls from school and head out for an appointment at one of CHOP's satellite offices. And NOT the satellite office closest to home, of course.

The ugly of this Monday morning is that Dr. D has been up since 6 a.m. with ummm, digestive distress. It's not pretty - he looks terrible and feels worse. I've sequestered him in his room and anti-bacterialized all the surfaces he's touched already. If there's any illness that I just cringe and creep out over, it's tummy turmoil. I just hate it. For my kids, for me, for the airborne ick that floats around. Most especially for the ridiculously highly contagious nature that they seem to carry. Ugh.

Mei Mei's Life Verse

One of the things that I really desired to accomplish this January, aside from all the sorting and organizing I'm doing in my "Get Ready for Baby" mission, was to finally get a "life verse" nailed down for our girl. It's something that I did for each pregnancy with my older bio kids and the Lord gave me one for our journey to Li'l Empress too. While we were waiting for Li'l E, I actually also had a regular "playlist" of sorts - songs that ministered peace and hope and purpose to me while I was praying and waiting. So as we entered our church-wide season of prayer and fasting, I have been asking the Lord to give me a verse for my sweet girl and bring a song or two my way that would capture the essence of what this adoption means to me and to our family.

I had no idea that this month of focused prayer would be so incredibly meaningful in this journey to our girl. That I would NEED it to steady me and anchor my swirling thoughts and feelings quite so much. But He did. He does. I'm so grateful for that.

This particular journey to Mei Mei has been so different from our previous adoption, what with all the obstacles we've faced and the crazy busy pace of life that our home has now with 5 kids. I've been sorely distracted by it all (not necessarily in bad ways, just not as focused on the details of the process. Till now that is!). While that often helps with making the days fly by till we meet our Mei Mei, it doesn't help when I realized that I've yet to find a verse that I feel rightly characterizes this journey and how to pray for our girl.

Before all the "stuff" with our I800 approval blew up, I'd been spending time soaking in some of the new worship music I got for Christmas. Several of the songs really were ministering to me and so I sought out the verses from which they originated. And I wasn't surprised at all to see that it was a section of Scripture that I have long loved and relied upon. That I've quoted it here before. That it FIT.

"Because of the Lord’s great love we are not consumed,

for his compassions never fail. They are new every morning;

great is your faithfulness!"

Lamentations 3:22-23 (NIV~1984)

And just like that, I've found Mei Mei's life verse. I feel sure that while it is of great comfort and sustenance to me right now in this hardest part of the long adventure we are on, He has a bigger purpose and a plan behind this urge He put it in me to seek these verses for each child. And now for Mei Mei in particular. I've seen it come to life in front of me over and over with the other kids and I can't help but think that it is a unique gift that He's letting me give to them, for now and for their future. (I'm kind of a big picture thinker by nature, can ya tell?!)

I'm excited about the couple songs He's led me to and I'm singing them over her in prayer daily. I'll share them with you later. In the meantime, why don't you share with me a life verse God's given you for your child? I love hearing the stories of how that happens for other families!

Wordless Wednesday {$1.99}

I think this is the best $1.99 I've spend all winter long.

She's barely taken it off since Saturday night!

It's been a long while since I joined in,

but  if you want more Wordless Wednesday fun,

click HERE and link up!

Shipped!

Shaggy was finally able to locate a printer, download the Supplement 1 form and sign it. Getting to a post office, however, proved to be a bit trickier. But we got news yesterday that the form has now been shipped by "express mail" from his village in Cambodia.

Heh. Not entirely sure what "express mail" from a remote village in Cambodia will actually look like but word is that it should be here in about a week. He's going to send us whatever tracking information he has so that we can follow the progress. There's no personal information or data on the form, so we're not worried about security. BUT! We have heard mixed reviews about the state of "express" and international shipping from that country so we are quite literally "praying it in" at this point.

Once that form is received, The Boss will compile the entire evidenciary package (Supplement 1, 2, 3, and a hefty check) and overnight it to the lockbox of the USCIS offices in Texas. At that point, our Immigrations Officer can be notified and hopefully begin the process to request a fingerprinting appointment for Shaggy. Given the time-line that this puts the process on, it's most likely that the fingerprinting would have to happen in Colorado once Shaggy's team has returned for their week of de-briefing. Having it done as early as possible in that week is a much better option than waiting another week-plus to have him come home and do it here. Especially since he'll be coming home on yet another long federal holiday weekend and The Boss has very limited time off to take before we leave for China.

As I said in my earlier post, there's nothing about this mess that will be quick or easy to fix. We're settling in for an extended delay and, again, trying to keep our hearts and minds prayerfully focused on HIM and HIS promises for our family. He gave us this dream and as my daddy said to me in the first couple days of the problem coming to light, "The waiting is the hardest part. But God is never late."

Not For the Faint of Heart

I was talking yesterday with another mom in our church, inquiring about the state of their domestic adoption process. They've been anticipating a court date for months now, only to have one "paperwork" related issue after another. "No date yet" was her sad report and I immediately repeated to her something a friend told me a long time ago: "Adoption is not for the faint of heart, is it?"  We commiserated over each other's stories and agreed to hold each other in prayer for the specific steps needed to move these processes forward.

The conversation was over but I've been thinking about that phrase a lot since she and I talked in passing. While I said it kind of "off the cuff" (because I am trying to stay focused on His Word and His promises to us despite the many obstacles that keep getting thrown in our path to this daughter of ours), and while I know it's very cliched to even say, I also know how true it is. How REAL it is.

Adoption is hard work. It's messy. It's a lot of hurry up and wait. Only to hurry on to the next phase and have to wait again. And each bump in the road, each obstacle that crops up requires fortitude, strategy, and forward-focused eyes.

But that's not just true and real for adoption is it? It's true of any dream that God places in your heart, any journey that He places you on for your life. It's not easy. It's not smooth sailing. In fact, it's often quite the opposite. It's grueling. It's disheartening. It challenges what you thought about yourself. And if I'm being totally honest, it often challenges what I thought I knew about God.

In the days following the phone call from our Immigrations Officer, I knew I needed to keep this current situation as primarily a matter of prayer. Given all the variables that are involved, with Shaggy in Cambodia and largely unavailable during our regular business hours here in the States, I figured out pretty quickly that whatever solution would come about would NOT be of our own striving or action plans. Certainly we know that there are steps to be followed to fix it all. But I sensed fairly quickly that this would not be an easy or a quick fix and that we needed to be in prayer for our focus to be right throughout. As I spent time fasting and praying on Wednesday morning, I felt the Lord lead me to His Word. To a section of Scripture that has long been a touchstone of my life. In fact, in both of my older Bibles, it's highlighted and marked up. It's a section of the Word that I go back to whenever I feel like I need to adjust my course or my perspective. In my new Bible, it's marked with a date that was just a couple days after The Boss lost his job. Just weeks after our dossier was completed.

When we were growing up, my dad would remind us that this life would not be smooth sailing and calm waters every day. That we would face troubles, persecutions and difficulties. But he also taught us that when life got confusing or when we questioned what to do or what we knew about the circumstances, we needed to go back to what we know. I've said it before, actually fairly recently about this particular adoption journey: Go back to what you know. It's been good advice. I'm so grateful for my parents' training in The Word.

So I am going {again!} back to what I know. And I'm standing on it now. Regardless of what the current status of the "fix" is, regardless of how it all plays out. This is my declaration. And I know it's His promise to me and my family. It's okay that my heart is faint - His never is. And that's what really matters.

"I will lift up mine eyes unto the hills, from whence cometh my help.

My help cometh from the Lord, which made heaven and earth.

He will not suffer thy foot to be moved: he that keepeth thee will not slumber.

Behold, he that keepeth Israel shall neither slumber nor sleep.

The Lord is thy keeper: the Lord is thy shade upon thy right hand.

The sun shall not smite thee by day, nor the moon by night.

The Lord shall preserve thee from all evil: he shall preserve thy soul.

The Lord shall preserve thy going out and thy coming in

from this time forth, and even for evermore."

Psalm 121 ~ King James version

I look up to the mountains;

does my strength come from mountains?

No, my strength comes from God,

who made heaven, and earth, and mountains.

He won’t let you stumble,

your Guardian God won’t fall asleep.

Not on your life!

Israel’s Guardian will never doze or sleep.

God’s your Guardian,

right at your side to protect you –

Shielding you from sunstroke,

sheltering you from moonstroke.

God guards you from every evil,

he guards your very life.
He guards you when you leave and when you return,

he guards you now, he guards you always.

Psalm 121 ~ The Message

Looming

So, there's no real movement yet on the process of rectifying the I800 paperwork issues. We're trying to stay in regular contact with Shaggy for his part of the process. He got the link we sent him but had quite a time finding a printer so that he could download, print, and then sign it for us. He found out that his village doesn't have access to Fed Ex. But he missed the post office hours to further inquire about other options. We are in a holding pattern for ANY further action till that form is signed, shipped, and in our hands.

The other piece of the puzzle of this all that we didn't mention earlier in the week is that many of our other supporting documents are due to expire. Some quite soon, some in March. Previous to this snafu, we had discussed those looming deadlines with the agency and came upon a solution that we all could live comfortably with. But that solution assumed imminent I800 approval. Now that that is not likely to happen before the end of February, (Yes, I said February. I can't even believe it but that's the likelihood.) we are forced to make some decisions and start some renewal of documents.

Most of you who are familiar with international adoption understand that these looming deadlines mean additional money we'll need to spend to accomplish the renewals. Some of the renewals are inexpensive, but a couple of them carry weighty price tags. As does the paperwork that we need to rectify this current situation we're facing. (The snag we are facing carries with it its own additional expenses and looming deadlines, incidentally.)  We have been taking this all to the Lord and asking for wisdom and provision, as we know that we will need more money than originally estimated now. We would appreciate your prayers with us over this piece of the puzzle now, too. If you feel led to share, you can always let folks know we are still working with Wild Olive Tees' fundraising program. (Our family code is WHITNEY407. Details and the link are on my sidebar to the left.)

For those who are unfamiliar with the paper-chase of adoption, I realize that much of this likely sounds like a lot of panic over a little problem. Please understand us when we say, it is more than a little problem. Taken all together, this situation is likely costing us 6-8 weeks. And now a lot of financial resources. The concern over the finances is less tangible than the deadlines of USCIS evidenciary products and less than the expiration dates of documents. But certainly no less "looming" to our hearts and minds. Obviously, the hardest part of it all is that it literally translates to Mei Mei sitting in an orphanage for 6 to 8 weeks as opposed to being home, with us. But the other difficulties are coming in to play while we navigate how to fit all the pieces of the puzzle together and then move forward. The whole "fix" itself is costing us an unknown quantity of time and expense because there are soooo many variables to getting that one form signed and shipped home. Once we have that form home, we'll have a more quantifiable sense of what comes next and when.

Until then, we are trying to keep our eyes on Him and trust that He's working on our behalf. We are taking whatever actions we can in our efforts to fight for our daughter and for this process to move forward. At the same time, we are trying to rest in the knowledge that ultimately He holds it all. That He is going before us to make our actions productive and valuable toward accomplishing the ultimate goal - bringing Mei Mei home as quickly as we can!

Updating the Prayer Need!

I've been working all morning with The Boss and a couple friends, along with our Social Worker and our Immigrations Officer to sort out the tangle of this situation and create the appropriate action plan.  Some of you have offered help, some are asking which parts of the process need the most "Divine Intervention" and some of you are even offering alternatives we've not thought to consider. But all of you have been so thoughtful and encouraging and we appreciate it more than you can know.

Because Shaggy turned 18 during this process we needed to register him as an additional adult in the household. That came as no surprise and we had done clearances, etc. on the state level to preventatively have that in place. But what was missed is the Immigrations biometrics/fingerprinting and clearance so that the Supplement 3 (registering him into the adoption documentation) could be filed without delay. That step could have and should have been done in September when he was prepping for YWAM and we are playing catch up to figure out how do to it all now. It's quite tangled and messy and we're pretty sure it can be LOOSELY summarized into the four major things we are facing (and waiting for creative answers to):

1. How to get him connected to our Social Worker so that she can verbally interview him for the summary that must be written to register him? This is where the spotty internet access is problematic. Along with the 12 hour time difference. *Update: This was done by phone mid-morning with the Social Worker, after Shaggy's team leader got our message to please have him call home.
2. How to obtain his original signature on the documentation we must submit? We have an email into the USCIS officer but that's not likely going to yield more than a "policy" driven response.*Update: Around 11 a.m. we found out that it does indeed require an original signature. :(  The Boss is working with the YWAM leadership to make that happen. Seems that they don't have much access to printers, etc. Still needs considerable prayer as we work out logistics.
3. How to get him fingerprinted in as timely a manner as possible? He's at a YWAM base in Siakhounville, Cambodia - quite far from Pnam Penh, the capital and where the embassy is. His internet access to even get these messages that we need him, etc. is spotty and unreliable. Waiting till he arrives back in Denver is certainly an option but adds weeks to the wait to keep this paperwork moving.
4. Add to this that we cannot just work on our end to get him fingerprinted, where ever that might be, because he has to walk in with an official gov't form (in the system at the minimum, on his person is "standard procedure") to do so. The logistics of THAT depend on many steps along the way, starting with the first two steps above being completed.

So, there you have it. We are looking at a potential delay of months over this - rather than traveling in early March as we'd hoped. And we're still wondering if the Chinese gov't side of things is going to approve the medical expedite request that we'd made back when we submitted our Letter of Intent to adopt her specifically. She has some medical needs and while she isn't fragile or critical right now, there is indication that her environment is very spare and austere and she has a need that could easily be compromised or disintegrated by a simple cold or infection at the site of her need.

This momma is really struggling, frankly. And The Boss is, too. In our hearts, she is OURS. And putting her physical needs aside for the moment (which is so hard to do), we know that another two or three months in any institutional setting WITHOUT a firm attachment and bonding experience is really hard on her heart, mind, and spirit. And potentially on future bonding. Especially in light of the fact that she will also be facing a couple surgeries in addition to the transition of becoming part of our family.

It's already an uphill battle of "learning" how to love and be loved for these little ones. Some easier than others. The older they are, the more spare their environment or their interactions with their caregivers, the harder that hill is. Not impossible, we know. But harder. And by all accounts, her location is a pretty "old school" - style orphanage. We know that it's fully equipped and medically prepared to care for her but that's only half of the picture. That grieves our hearts for her sake.

We are battling frustration and helplessness and fear. We really appreciate the prayer. And the offers of help. 

As we find out more, we'll be updating here, as opposed to Facebook.

Please Pray!

Late Tuesday afternoon, we found out that approval of our I800 request is being withheld pending production of evidence - basically there's some "missing documentation" that belongs in our packet. Because Shaggy is now 18, we are required to submit additional documentation specific to him (known as a Supplement 3). That slipped through the cracks in our paperwork tracking and now our social worker is working quickly to rectify the paperwork part of the issue. We are praying for favor with the logistics of her connecting with Shaggy quickly given the time difference, as well as spotty internet and phone access.

However, the bigger issue is that once that documentation is submitted, he needs to get fingerprinted in a US government office. We are working to figure out where in Cambodia that might be and IF or HOW he might be able to get there from his (very remote) YWAM base. We are praying for clear answers and quick access to whatever location is appropriate and can handle the request. We are also praying for favor with the officer assigned to our case in the US Citizenship and Immigration offices. She's so far been amenable to our agency's suggestions and we are so grateful to the Lord for her willingness to work it out quickly.

Both of these issues combined now bring an almost "automatic" and additional delay of at least two weeks because of the necessary processing. But it's looking more like it could be 6 weeks of processing delays. That's in view of the issues of getting information back and forth between us, Shaggy, our agency and our assigned officer at USCIS. Plus there is the issue of the logistics for Shaggy signing paperwork, receiving the documentation AND arranging transportation to walk into the right embassy offices. We are praying for favor and for expedited processing.

We are asking God's intervention in it all.

Further updates with more specifics will be coming later today.

Saturday Night Business

Normally, I spend my days following the Christmas and New Year holidays busily sorting and organizing and streamlining our home, one room at a time. But this year, January has been deemed our "Get Ready for Baby" month. So instead of sorting closets and bookshelves, I've been making contacts with specialists and searching websites to educate myself on Mei Mei's medical needs. I've been calling pharmacists for advice, consulting with our pediatrician and nurse practitioner. Making lists and planning groceries so I can make some freezer meals for the family while we're gone. The paperwork of adoption just seems to never end and at times it feels so tedious. In fact, much of last week felt like one tedious, boring task after another.

On Saturday, I had the opportunity to break away from all that. A group of us who have formed a wonderful on-line support network on F@ceb**k gathered about an hour away for brunch at a very well-known smorgasbord restaurant. I was really nervous to go, because I love breakfast buffets. LOVE. Them. And because I recently started a partial fast for the month of January. I am not a huge breakfast-lovin' gal here at home, when there's just cold cereal or eggs from which to choose. But put me in front of rows baked oatmeal, cinnamon French toast, made-to-order omelets, hash browns with oozy cheese and onions, heaping piles of bacon and more? Well, I've been known to get a little crazy. To go a little overboard. My sweet friend shared her own similar concerns with me and I suggested that we stick together by encouraging each other to make healthy choices AND to keep our focus on the people around us as our goal. And you know what? We totally did it! We both ate only what we needed to, and we made some darned healthy choices, doing it! It was pretty empowering - especially for this carb lovin' gal who has NEVER met a breakfast casserole she didn't love.

When we got home, I was pretty wiped out. But I knew I had a lot of work-time available and I didn't want to waste it. So I got down to business as soon as I changed into some comfies. I whipped up a brand new recipe for an early dinner with my gang and The Boss pulled a bin up out of the basement for me while the kids set the table. And guess what was in that bin?

Uh huh. Yeah. Sweet little girl clothes. Piles and piles of pink and purple. Flowers. Ruffles. Oh, my lands. I know most of those clothes have been around since we had LadyBug (13 years ago now) but gosh! I had forgotten just how tiny 12 month clothing is. And I had totally forgotten about some of the really adorable outfits we had for her and Li'l Empress. I really had a hard time leaving the bin alone until dinner was done and cleared away.

But once that was done? Look out! LadyBug and I sat in front of the washing machine, loading in cute little running suit after sweet little sock after funky little tights. Oh! The dresses! And the onesies. Such cute onesies! And the zip up footie jammies! Oh, I forgot all about those cute monkeys and kissable yellow duckies. 

There was a lot of ooooh'ing and aaawww'ing and "OH! I remember Li'l Empress wearing that!" and "I remember buying that for you, LadyBug" and so on. The men-folk just steered clear of the space for the duration. Heh.

Later that night, I spent some time matching all those little socks and folding all the dresses and tees and little yoga pants. And I prayed.

I prayed for the sweet little one who will be sportin' those snazzy clothes to be

strong and healthy in the cold Beijing winter.

I prayed for her need to be healed.

For wisdom in seeking treatments and doctors to help that happen.

I prayed for her heart to be filled with hope and longing for love.

I prayed for her tiny little body to fatten up a bit while she waits.

(Don't want those cute yoga pants dropping

to her knees every time she moves!)

I prayed for The Boss and I to be strengthened in our understanding

of HIS unfailing love so that we might share it

and show it unconditionally to our girl.

And I prayed for that medical expedite to be granted,

for the rest of the paperwork process to move smoothly and quickly.

(Quickly might have been said multiple times. Maybe.)

Each piece I touched, I prayed. While this journey has been long and often hard, it has never been lacking in prayer. Each twist and turn in the road to our girl has sent me to The Father's lap. Each day has found me conversing with Him about this gift, this treasure of adopting one of the little ones He watches over and sings over. (He does that, did you know that?) He has never once forgotten her. He knew her name long before we got ourselves on the same page to finally pick the "right one." He knows every single hair on her head (even the ones they keep shaving off). And He knows this past Saturday night, He and I had some serious business to attend to. Nothing tedious or boring about THAT. Even on a Saturday night.

In Which My Cheeks Get Rosier

I had a terrible craving for a fresh salad for lunch yesterday. It might have been The Boss's lengthy and detailed description of the gourmet salad he crafted for himself on his lunch break yesterday. But I could NOT stop thinking about garbanzo beans, artichoke hearts, and fresh broccoli on a bed of mixed greens. So I picked Li'l Empress up from Kindergarten and headed to the local grocery store. It's not the best salad bar in the area, but it fit the bill for me: close, inexpensive and already chopped and ready. Li'l Empress was duly excited because she knew some hot bar mac n' cheese was comin' her way.

We got in line, wherein Li'l Empress spied the Chinese take-out end of the hot bar and the "home-made, ooops, I mean Loooo Mein Nooooodles, Mommy!" were waiting for her. I asked her if she was sure she wanted that in place of mac n' cheese and she (I kid you not) jumped up and down in place, and said, "Yes! Yes! I'm sure, Mommy, I'm really really sure!"

Well. Okay then.

"Li'l Empress, please. It's not safe to jump in the store and you don't have to yell, I'm right here next to you."

I filled a little take-out box with her favoritest! noooooodles! in the world! and then she spied the cantaloupe. Oh, heaven help me. "Mommy! Mommy! Look! I would like some cantaloupe, too, please! It's my favorite!"

"Yes, cantaloupe is fine, to go with your noodles. But that's it. Okay?"

"Yeah! Sure, Mommy! Ooooohhhhh, KAY." She saluted me. Really. She did.

While I was assembling my salad and guess-timating how many artichoke hearts are in one serving, Li'l Empress tapped my arm. "Mommy? Mommy? Is that lady next to you a stranger?"

(Apparently the stranger-danger conversation really took. Now, every where we go, she asks if the person closest to us is a stranger. Every.where. Seriously.)

"Yes, Li'l E, she is a stranger. But if you would like to be polite and say hello, you may because I'm standing right here with you."

Heh. 

Dear Lady at the Salad Bar, I am so sorry for what that normally benign permission unleashed upon you. I do hope you can find it in your heart to shop there again. I promise, if I see you hanging around the salad bar on one of our ventures into this store, I will distract Li'l Empress's attention and unleash her onto some other  unsuspecting customer. You have my word. Sincerely, The Gang's Momma.

Seriously. Ser.I.Ous.Ly... Are you ready for what came next? (I'd type it all together without a space to replicate how she spoke it all without a breath or a pause, but that would give you all a headache.)

"Hi, lady. I am getting a new little sister. She is waiting for us in China. When my mommy and daddy go to get her, she is going to come home and live with us. Because she is supposed to be part of our family forever and ever. And when she gets here, her and I will have a sleep-over together EVERY!NIGHT! in our new room. Daddy painted it green and pink and now all the pretty stuff is hanging up on all the walls. And Shaggy is in Thailand but today he's going to Cambodia and he's gonna come home and take care of me when Mommy and Daddy are in China to get my sister. She's gonna be called Brynna Rose and I am gonna learn how to feed her and ......."

At some point in there, I was able to put down the utensils I was using to make my salad and turn for a moment to gently place my hand on Li'l Empress's shoulder in an effort to stem the rushing tide. I could feel my already rosy cheeks start to flame and I was getting a little clammy. Between her loud exclamations and her overwhelming exuberance, I was starting to feel as if a huge spotlight had just been turned on in the Produce Department. Oy, this child of mine.....

But that sweet lady being accosted just chuckled and shook her head at me.  When Li'l Empress was (finally!) done, the sweet lady bent down at the waist, THANKED Li'l Empress for sharing all that and said she was so very happy for Li'l Empress.

Oh.My.Word.

I explained, in a very brief summary, with cheeks burning, that she is very excited that our adoption process is coming to an end soon and would she please excuse my child's brain dump of exuberance. She proceeded to then "P'shaw" me and ask a few polite questions about adoption from China. All while we finished making our respective salads. She was so incredibly gracious and gave Li'l Empress a big smile and wished her great success in becoming a big sister.

Seriously!

It didn't stop there. Heh. Lucky me. We happened to be exiting the store at the same time and as we stepped aside to let this kind stranger pass us, Li'l Empress shouted, "Hey! Look Mommy! We know that lady! She isn't a stranger anymore!"

Uh, yeah.

To which she very graciously stopped, turned, and said to Li'l Empress, "That's right, my dear. Now we can be the very best of friends. Have a lovely lunch with your Mommy."

You can't make this stuff up folks. And I'm very certain my cheeks could not get any rosier.

Finally.

There's only ONE good reason for two blog posts in one day!!!!!

FINALLY!!!!!

That's right. It's finally here. On it's way to our home right now. To be signed (tearfully and joyfully!) and returned POSTHASTE to move us on to the next step. WITHOUT the clout or advocacy we anticipated that we'd need. When I contacted the agency earlier this morning to see where we were going to start with an intervention, the receptionist said our SW would call back as soon as she could get free. The whole two hours we waited, I really felt the tug of war going on in my spirit that I posted about earlier today. It was so exciting to hear her say, "I have a Christmas present for you guys."  It seems that a package of documents had arrived after my initial call and our Letter of Approval was FINALLY included in the delivery. We're all very relieved that it's here and that we didn't have to "pull out" the big guns 

And wanna hear some really cool "extra" news we discovered? We're already more than a week into our "wait" for the next step (for those who are counting) because our LOA was actually issued - on December 19th!!!!!

We may never know "where" it was, or why it was not showing up our agency tried multiple times to track it, but we are really glad it's here. The Boss has all the next-step-paperwork ready to go in tomorrow's mail. And I'm busy finishing up a care package to "introduce" our gang to our girl. I know. I know. You don't care about any of those "next step" details just now. Really. I don't either. I'm too darned excited to FINALLY be able to share her sweet-ness with you all.

Without further ado,

The Gang is pleased to present to you

Miss Brynna Rose RuiJuan.

Currently residing somewhere

in the huge city of Beijing.

Soon to be firmly entrenched in her loving home

in the good old U.S.of A!!!!!!! 

This is her royal cute-ness, likely when she was
about 6 months old or so.

This is THE picture that The Boss fell headlong over.

He said, "I think this is our daughter" with tears in his eyes.

And a smile on his face. 

This is the picture on her "official referral" form

in the original Chinese.

I really wish we had dates attached to the pictures. But we don't. Only guesses. In fact, this whole file represents a ton of guess-work and really, was such a leap of faith. Especially once The Boss decided she was "The One." But really, it's okay - we're trusting HIM together to give us the answers we need, when we need them. And now we are even in the "knowing" that a file given to us represented "The One." I was certain when we were researching about Li'l Empress's needs that she was "The One" in that journey. And look how great that has turned out for us!

Here she is, doing "tummy time" on the mats.

Again, I wish I had a firm grasp on her age here.

We think she's about 6 months old here, too.

You can see, she's a tiny peanut, regardless of her age.

Here she is, "cruising"  according to the updates

from mid-October.

She's 16 months old in these two pictures.

The file says she's "extroverted" and pleasant.

I think she might even look a little mischievous here.

Like, "hmmmmm, what will it take to totally wrap

this Daddy whom I am hearing about all around my fingers?"

Heh. Not much, sister. NOT. MUCH. AT. ALL.

And then today's email exchanges between us and our agency got even sweeter. I inquired about the next steps from signing and mailing out the I800 paperwork. An email came back with surprise attachments!

Can you believe those cheeks?

She's still a very tiny peanut.

She'll be 18 months old this weekend

and only weighs 18 lbs. and 11 oz.

She's only about 28" tall.

Really. A teeny little thing.

But she's gained some weight since

the last update and that's a good thing.

So, there you have it. Our little mei-mei in living color.

Finally!

We ask for your continued prayers. We will not be disclosing the nature of her need publicly on the blog. But we do need you to know that it is VERY important for this little one to stay strong and healthy throughout the cold Beijing winters. (The Boss checked Beijing weather this weekend and it got down to 7 degrees. SEVEN DEGREES! Oh, my heart!) She will be facing quite a few medical interventions in the months upon coming home to join our gang and it is vital that she continue to put on weight and have a strong immune system to face it all.

Aren't you glad you came by The Gang's place today?! Doesn't that little face just make you want to smile all day long?! Or is that just me? I'm thinking I'm already a little wrapped.  Mmmmm, yeah. just a little.

For those who are not "fluent in China adoption-ese"

this site is an EXCELLENT resource for understanding

the steps of the process from LOA to traveling to our girl!

For the more visual among us, 

there's always this post to help you understand

what we are working through.

Stand Firm

We had really hoped to have

significant news of movement in our journey to Mei Mei

to share with you all by Christmas Day.

To have an official

Letter Of Approval

of our intent to adopt our Mei Mei

in hand, "signed, sealed and delivered"

as our very best Christmas gift this year.

To finally be able to show her sweet face to you all,

to captivate you as she's captivated us.

But that wasn't how it all played out.

After weeks of glitches and delays,

after weeks of watching the trends

and seeing the "ranges of normal expectations" 

quickly come and then just as quickly go,

we still have "no new news."

Being "outside" the ranges of normal trending

is an uncomfortable place to be

when you know where your girl is

and what her daily life,

what her daily struggle to thrive in the midst of her environment

is likely to be like.

So last Friday, our Social Worker and I agreed

that a stronger intervention was required.

Inquiries coming from someone with bigger clout are in order.

But the office closures for Christmas created yet another delay

in even getting that influential advocacy for our process to happen.

So I am trying to wait patiently.

To trust quietly and steadfastly.

It's not easy.

My heart is raw.

My spirit feels weak and weary.

My momma's heart is working overtime

praying for my girl:

for health, for protection over her spirit and her mind.

For God's plans for her life to be accomplished

regardless of what the enemy might do to thwart those plans.

All while praying for and missing Shaggy.

Praying for my boy:

for health, for protection over his spirit and his mind.

For God's plans to be accomplished in him and through him

while he is off on his God Adventure.

This first Christmas season apart

has not been easy on any of us.

Lamentations 3:21-27

has been a refrain on my heart for many days now.

"Yet this I call to mind

and therefore I have hope:

Because of the Lord’s great love
we are not consumed,
for his compassions never fail.
They are new every morning;
great is your faithfulness.
I say to myself, “The Lord is my portion;
therefore I will wait for him.”

The Lord is good to those whose hope is in him,
to the one who seeks him;
it is good to wait quietly
for the salvation of the Lord.
It is good for a man to bear the yoke
while he is young."

As my sister shared as an encouragement

with me on Christmas Eve,

I've been holding on to this:

Proverbs 13:12
"Hope deferred makes the heart sick,

but a dream fulfilled is a tree of life."

and standing, albeit on wobbly legs on this:

I Corinthians 15:58

"Therefore, my dear brothers, stand firm.

Let nothing move you.

Always give yourselves fully to the work of the Lord,

because you know that your labor

in the Lord is not in vain."

Merry Christmas...

From Our Home

To Yours.....

O Come, O Come, Emmanuel

a Christmas hymn

O come, O come, Emmanuel,

And ransom captive Israel,

That mourns in lonely exile here

Until the Son of God appear.

Rejoice! Rejoice! Emmanuel

Shall come to thee, O Israel.

O come, Thou Day-Spring, come and cheer

Our spirits by Thine advent here;

Disperse the gloomy clouds of night

And death's dark shadows put to flight!

O come, Thou Key of David, come,

And open wide our heavenly home;

Make safe the way that leads on high,

And close the path to misery.

In Which I Try To Balance Brutal Honesty With Holiday Cheer

Tuesday morning's update about our anticipated LOA dispersal was basically a "no new news update." Which I know is as frustrating to my agency as it is to us.

I'm trying to be okay with that for now. It's not easy. With the crazy pace of school concerts, parties, shopping, wrapping, and baking we've been keeping, I'm trying to keep my heart and mind occupied. On the one hand, it feels like a giant holding pattern hovering over the days. On the other, I find myself creating a tightly planned schedule of events during the days and then crashing at night to wonder what I accomplished and where the day went. The contrast of it all is exhausting.

I know I'm not alone in feeling this but last week's tragic events are weighing so very heavy on my heart, in addition to what seems like an already hard holiday season for our gang. I'm confident in saying that I do NOT recommend that your first holiday for one of your kiddoes spreading his wings away from home is the best holiday season to also be waiting for another of your kiddoes to find her way home after two years of longing and waiting. Not that we could have managed it or planned it otherwise. But maybe it'll help you as your little ones grow. Sigh. (Sorry, my snark slipped out there a bit.)

When I slow down to think about it all, I am overwhelmed by the enormity of it all: the tremendous losses our nation has suffered, the anguish of parents and families all over the country, the unknown and even danger that Shaggy is facing, the remoteness and the intensity of his mission, the cold hard winter of Beijing, the fragility of Mei Mei's heart and mind... Oh my... I have to throw out a great big STOP sign and make myself change course. Change focus. Immediately.

I know you'll understand when I say that no new news" was not the message I wanted to hear from my agency yesterday. I'm grateful that they understand that, too. On top of all of the other "stuff" these last two weeks have brought, now this delay represents now weeks "lost" as we approach closures for the holidays here in the States. Which will be  followed by closures in China for their upcoming holidays. Waiting through the resolution of this "clerical error" has forced a conscious choice to keep trusting, to keep confessing that HE is sovereign and HE has not forgotten us. Any of us. HE has not. And on that I am standing.

Each time we sit down to the dinner table together in these last five days, I've found myself almost at a loss for words. Choking up at the privilege of having my kids around my table. Praying for my two that aren't home with us and begging God to grant them safety and health while we are apart. Thanking HIM for the honor of even getting to do a dinner together. I've been amazed at the gratitude I am feeling, even in the midst of the frustration and pain. May I be so humble and thankful moving forward when "normal" returns.

And so I pray. I cry, like I'm sure so many of you are doing this week. I sing Christmas hymns and replay over and over my iPod rotation of silly Christmas songs for Li'l Empress to sing along to. And now I'm off to cook and wrap and shop some more. The good news is that in my need to keep busy and NOT focus on Shaggy's absence, the delays to our process, and now the horrific sadness of the Sandy Hook tragedy, I am almost done our holiday preparations. Here's hoping that my Christmas Eve day can be spent relaxing and hanging out with my gang. We could all use the down time of jammies, cheesey Christmas movies, and free-flowing popcorn.

Don't Squash That Little Nudge

For the last two days, I've really struggled with the wait for our Letter Of Approval.

I mean, I've been bothered by the length of our wait for a while now but I haven't really paid it much mind until last week. Last week, somehow, I had fully convinced myself that our LOA was coming. I knew our agency had a "package on the way" and that we were "due." Over-due if one looks at the current trends on the charts. Which, I was doing. More than I really wanted to and certainly more than I had during waits between milestones previous to this wait for LOA. The last update we had gotten was that we were "in review" and that the next step would be the dispersal of our LOA. PLUS, last week, I was processing the imminent departure of Shaggy to Thailand. And the thoughts of celebrating Christmas without our boy were really hitting home. I think my melt-downs into puddles every couple hours on Thursday and Friday were some kind of internal release valve letting off the steam of it all.

But this struggle, these last two days, has been very different. It was more of a niggling doubt that everything was proceeding normally. An occasional twinge of "something isn't quite right" and not really knowing what to do with it. Frankly, I didn't do well with it. FRANKLY, I've been a bit like a bear with a thorn in her paw for the last two days. (I've made reparations to my family already. They love me and graciously forgive me. I'm so blessed!)

The gals in my DTC group (DTc means "Dossier to China:" this group is a bunch of comrades-in-arms who all sent their dossiers to China in the same season that we did, banded together for information and support) have been looking at our charts, too. A couple of us who are waiting had a chat or two over the last two days about the trends and it seemed apparent to us all that something indeed was not quite right. But I have tried so hard NOT to be a "day counter" or a "chart obsessor" and to trust the process. In doing so, I completely squashed that little nudge I thought I might be sensing. I pushed aside my niggling doubts and occasional twinges. Thus the "release" valve I mentioned. Sigh. One of these days, I will learn. I will!

Last night, I went to bed and fell asleep praying for Shaggy. Early this morning (as in 3:22 a.m. which would have been 4:22 p.m. Beijing time, IF I've calculated correctly. That's regular work-day hours there.) I woke again, praying for Shaggy. As I prayed, I had a sense that I needed to be praying for our LOA. For our dossier. And of course, for Brynna. So I did. I slept quite fitfully for the next couple hours until I finally just got up and started my day.

After I made a cup of coffee and got Li'l Empress settled with her cereal, I jotted off the following note to our sweet Social Worker:

"So, we are on day 75 of our wait from PA (157 from LID).... it's now inching up to the "longer" end of the wait from the DTC group I'm a part of. And when considering that our LOI went in with the request for expedite, we're wondering what's going on. Is there any chance, if you don't get a package today, that you can investigate this for us? I've just seen too many fellow-DTC'ers moving on from LOA even tho their numbers were trending like ours. When it starts to get too "out of the trend" is when these gals start seeing problems or delays with their files. We want to be sure it's not the case with ours."

To which I got an immediate response. This is how I summarized it to our families and some friends this morning, in a request for prayer:

Seems that our trusty SW was already feeling some concern. She had contacted her "on the ground" gal in Beijing on our behalf yesterday. (She was further tipped off when LHAA got a pkg yesterday of documents including one LOA for a family on the EXACT SAME TIMELINE as us.)  Here's what they think is happening: After the Eligibility Review #1 (also called Dept. 1 - which was our last up-date), it looks as  if our dossier was MIS-FILED  into the "Standard Program" (The Non-special needs program... which is currently running on a 6 year wait. Ummm, yeah. RUH ROH!).

If this had NOT been caught this week, we'd likely be waiting indefinitely. When our "on the ground" gal inquired, she was told that the only employee who can rectify that mis-filing is the one who is assigned to our file and that employee is out for the day. So she is going back tonight (our time) to follow up and get it moving.

Our sweet SW is NOTHING if not "ON IT" for our family. When she emailed me back, she had JUST finished getting the scoop from her Beijing gal. JUST! I have spent most of today feeling so humbled and blessed. Really. I mean, I could be feeling totally disgruntled and stressed or even angry at the glitch in the process. Indeed, I was ALL of that last week. And again for the previous two days. But now that we know what we're facing, I am instead feeling so awed that God gave us such a gift in this lovely Social Worker. I'm amazed that He was trying to speak to me all along, nudging me to listen to my gut and trust my instinct that something wasn't right. By the fact that He has given me this fierce momma's heart for my girl before I even know her. And finally by how I know He is going to work on our behalf.

We are expecting an answer of some kind tomorrow. Of course, the best possible answer would be our LOA is in the mail WITH the medical expedite being honored forthwith. But I have to be honest, I'm feeling pretty good about whatever answer we get tomorrow. He is always faithful to move on our behalf, in all the seasons and events of our lives. He's even faithful when I'm trying to squash that little nudge!

The Next Big Step

Well, the day has arrived. Today, Shaggy boards a plane with the other members of the team they have dubbed "Team Thaibodia" for the "Outreach" portion of their YWAM experience.  We F@cetimed with him last night, to chat, say good-bye and pray together as a family for his team and for him. NEVER in all of my life have I been so incredibly grateful for the technology that allows interactions such as this to occur. While I greatly dislike the inability to hug his neck and kiss him as he journeys off, I am so thankful that he got to hear our prayers over him. From Li'l Empress's prayer for safe travels all the way up to Dr. D's prayer for them to be used by God to The Boss's prayer for anointing and power in sharing The Gospel, the time together was sweet and one I will cherish in the many days ahead while we are missing his physical presence here in our home.

If you could, please pray with us for his team. There are 13 young people from YWAM Arvada heading out today to spend a month in Thailand and a month in Cambodia. They are being led by a young gal named Molly. Please pray with us for the following things:

• safe travels in each leg of their journey
• unity, health and physical protection for their team
• spiritual wisdom and discernment in light of all the new experiences they will have
• great opportunities to show the love of Jesus to the teams they are supporting and the work they will be doing themselves
• deepened intimacy and strengthening of their own personal faith journey as they follow the path God has set them each upon

Please also pray for the teams that Shaggy's team is partnering with while in-country. The work these teams are doing include things like campus ministry, ministry to victims of human trafficking and caring for orphaned children. There is much opposition to a lot of what the teams do each day, it's truly a supernatural spiritual battle they must face daily. Pray for strength and clarity in the face of the evil and opposition they face in their mission.

I have an update letter written by Shaggy that I would be happy to email to you if you are interested in what he has experienced and learned thus far. And the team leader will be sending weekly updates that I'd be happy to share with you and your family. Please just email me at the gmail address connected to this blog.

Thanks for praying with us for our boy. We are so proud of him and his passion to follow Jesus' calling on his life. My momma's heart would ask that you also pray for us who are left behind. There were quite a few tears here last night, as it sunk in to the littler kids that their big brother would be flying across the world today. It's a lot to take in and they are doing a great job of supporting him and praying for him. But we all miss him terribly. And all our holiday activities have that little tinge of missing him kind of lingering in the background. Thanks for that, too.

Sweet Give-Away Winner!!!

Good Morning all!  I'm excited to announce that Nicole from Living Out His Love is our randomly-selected winner of the Sweet Moon Baby book give-away. Her family's favorite adoption book is The Red Thread, by Grace Lin. That is a new title for me and one I'm sure I'll be checking out soon. Thanks, in fact, to everyone who shared their faves. I've got a whole list of recommendations to work with now as I build our family's library.

While I'm at it, if you haven't ever peeked over to my friend Nicole's blog, I highly recommend that you do so. She's a very gifted photographer and each time I visit her site, I'm amazed at the beautiful pictures she shares. She is also an adoptive momma who is home-schooling her three cutie pies, all while actively advocating for orphan care and supporting adoptive families in her network. I think you'll really enjoy cruisin' around her blog a little bit. Like she says, "grab a cup of coffee (or tea or whatever takes you to your happy place)...." and check it all out. For you readers who are local, you will especially want to look at her photography business. Tell her The Gang's Momma sent you to check things out!

Congratulations, Nicole!!!

I know you and your sweet little ones

will enjoy reading this tale together

for many years to come.

Love ya, girl!

*********************************************

If you are interested in purchasing your own copy of Sweet Moon Baby, may I suggest  that you enter Amazon through my friend Robin's Amazon link. (Please click on that link to be taken there directly.) She's a fellow Living Hope momma and is sewing her way fast and furious to a darling little girl named Gabi Grace. Her partnership with Amazon benefits their adoption to this sweetie pie.

If you would like to connect with the author of Sweet Moon Baby and keep up on the success of this charming little book, you can "Like" their F@cebook page. Consider letting the author know what you think of the book once you've purchased it.

Li'l Empress Makes An Observation

I very much needed to get out and about yesterday to take my mind off a "pending package" due to arrive at our adoption agency's offices. For a lunch break, we stopped at the (Very UPscale) Costco cafe. I know, you're all jealous of the decadent life we lead.  Anyhoo.... Li'l Empress and I shared a long picnic table with a Chinese mother and her sweet 6 year old daughter (who looked REMARKABLY like my Li'l Empress. It was uncanny, really!). With a five-year old as extroverted as Li'l Empress, there's no chance for an intimate, quiet lunch in a wide-open picnic table corral cafe like that. So as moms do, once the girls broke the ice, we chatted about age, size, etc. It became quickly apparent that she was gently and politely trying to get an idea of our story. Finally, I cut the sweet gal some slack and opened the door with a "when we brought her home from China" kind of comment. It was all she needed to jump right in and ask about adoption. It was a pleasant conversation and I regret that we both were so occupied with watching over our respective daughters that we neglected to get each other's names and phone numbers. But what happened next was one of those brief moments that I just had to capture while I remembered it.

After the pair left our table, Li'l Empress looked at me and said, "Mommy, that little girl looked a lot like I do." Ooooh, I could tell this was gonna be a good one. She looked so pensive when she said it.

"Yes, Li'l Empress, she does. Do you know why she looks so much like you?"

"Noooo...." she looked at me with puzzlement.

"Well, you look so similar because they are Chinese."

"HEY! I am from Chinese, too!"  Ummmm, yeah, we're working on that. I'm loathe to correct her often, as it's so stinkin' cute....

"Yes, Li'l E, you are from China and so is that Mommy and her daughter,"  I purposely separated them as Mommy and daughter to probe a little....

"Like you, Mommy? You are from Chinese, too?" she asked with cutely furrowed brow.

"Well, no, I'm not Chinese. Do I look like that Mommy? Do I look like you?" I poked a little bit more.

"YES!" She grinned mischievously and tilted her little chin up at me, daring me to elaborate. So I did.

"Well, let's see. What color hair did that Chinese mommy and her Chinese daughter have?"

"Mmmmm, black. Like mine. See? But mine is really longer, like Shayne's. Right, Mommy?"

"Yes, their hair was black. Like yours. What color hair do I have, Li'l Empress?"

"You have golden hair. It's short and pokey. And golden." She waved her hands all around her head to indicated said pokey-ness. Seriously? Short and pokey? I didn't ask for a style consultation. Harumph.

"Yup. And what color eyes did that mommy and that daughter have? What color does your Momma have?"

"Mmmmmm, brown. Like me. And you have green." As she pointed to my eyes, she just about bounced off her seat, much to the amusement of the older Indian couple sitting behind her. I think they were listening in!

"Yup. And Li'l Empress, what color skin do you have? What color do I have?"

"I have brown. You have white. Well, pink. Umm, white. Pink. White?"  (Yeah, umm, I'm kinda confused about that too, my dear daughter!)

"What color did that Mommy and her daughter have?"

"They have brown, too," she sighed. She was getting bored, I knew I had to wrap this up quickly and lead her to the point.

"That mommy and her daughter look a lot like you, Li'l Empress, because they are Chinese. Remember the momma said she lived in China for a long time when she was little? She was born in China, and so were you. Remember the name of the town where you were born in China?"

"YES! I was borned in Baoji! And Mei Mei is borned in Beijing!"  (We had discussed "home towns" earlier with the mother and her daughter, so the towns were fresh in her mind. I promise, she's not ordinarily that "on the ball" with those details!)

"So, that's a big part of the reason that you look a lot like that Chinese mommy and her daughter. You were born in China. You are Chinese too."

"OH! Thanks, Mommy. Can I have some french fries? Some different drink?"  And she was done. Just like that.

For which I am ridiculously grateful.  I don't know what I would have done if she'd thought deeper and probed more about the birds and the bees of Chinese mommies having Chinese daughters and Pink mommies having Chinese daughters. Costco's cafe is just NOT upscale and intimate enough for THAT talk.

But it didn't stop there.... Nooooo, she had one more observation up her sleeve. One kicker of an observation that burst out of her at the check-out counter. Apparently she'd been thinking still about the conversation at our table. As the lovely Hispanic clerk was checking us out and chatting with me about holiday plans and my cute little shopping helper, Li'l Empress tugged on my coat.

In a really loud voice, she asked me, "Mommy, WHY are there SO! MANY! Spanish and Chinese mommies and kids here today?" 

With her hands flailing and the dramatics in her query, you'd think the girl was straight-up Sicilian!  (The expressive talking with her hands thing? Perfect argument for the nature v. nurture debate!)

The clerk and I just looked at each other and grinned. Gaped, really. This kid does NOT miss a trick. In addition to her astute observations of the faces around her, apparently, she is already attuned to the many accents she heard while we shopped. It was indeed another melting pot experience with my fellow shoppers at that hour of the day.

I just answered her simply, "Well, Li'l Empress, all kinds of mommies all over town need to shop for their families and this seems like a nice sunny day to do it. They must all have had the same idea as YOUR mommy did."

And then she was done. And again, I was grateful... The clerks on each side of our check-out line grinned at me and one of them said, "Wow. You've got some tough questions coming out of that little one, don't you?"

Heh. He has no idea. No idea at all.