Wednesday, December 26, 2012

Stand Firm

We had really hoped to have
significant news of movement in our journey to Mei Mei
to share with you all by Christmas Day.

To have an official
Letter Of Approval
of our intent to adopt our Mei Mei
in hand, "signed, sealed and delivered"
as our very best Christmas gift this year.

To finally be able to show her sweet face to you all,
to captivate you as she's captivated us.

But that wasn't how it all played out.
After weeks of glitches and delays,
after weeks of watching the trends
and seeing the "ranges of normal expectations" 
quickly come and then just as quickly go,
we still have "no new news."

Being "outside" the ranges of normal trending
is an uncomfortable place to be
when you know where your girl is
and what her daily life,
what her daily struggle to thrive in the midst of her environment
is likely to be like.

So last Friday, our Social Worker and I agreed
that a stronger intervention was required.
Inquiries coming from someone with bigger clout are in order.
But the office closures for Christmas created yet another delay
in even getting that influential advocacy for our process to happen.

So I am trying to wait patiently.
To trust quietly and steadfastly.

It's not easy.
My heart is raw.
My spirit feels weak and weary.
My momma's heart is working overtime
praying for my girl:
for health, for protection over her spirit and her mind.
For God's plans for her life to be accomplished
regardless of what the enemy might do to thwart those plans.

All while praying for and missing Shaggy.
Praying for my boy:
for health, for protection over his spirit and his mind.
For God's plans to be accomplished in him and through him
while he is off on his God Adventure.
This first Christmas season apart
has not been easy on any of us.

Lamentations 3:21-27
has been a refrain on my heart for many days now.

"Yet this I call to mind
and therefore I have hope:
Because of the Lord’s great love
we are not consumed,
for his compassions never fail.
They are new every morning;
great is your faithfulness.
I say to myself, “The Lord is my portion;
therefore I will wait for him.”
The Lord is good to those whose hope is in him,
to the one who seeks him;
it is good to wait quietly
for the salvation of the Lord.
It is good for a man to bear the yoke
while he is young."

As my sister shared as an encouragement
with me on Christmas Eve,
I've been holding on to this:

Proverbs 13:12
"Hope deferred makes the heart sick,
but a dream fulfilled is a tree of life."

and standing, albeit on wobbly legs on this:

I Corinthians 15:58
"Therefore, my dear brothers, stand firm.
Let nothing move you.
Always give yourselves fully to the work of the Lord,
because you know that your labor
in the Lord is not in vain."

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