So You Want to Know About Adoption

I'm starting this series of posts in an attempt to answer questions that many of my friends and family have asked me over the last few years.  I must say up front that this is not a definitive discussion of the issues, by any means. Nor will it be scientific, theological, or academic in nature.  :)   (Cuz, gang, I am none of those things!)  Rather, I'm sharing from my own experiences and from the stories of folks with whom I have connected in our own journey to our Li'l Empress. I'm hoping that some of those very same folks will weigh in here on the conversation.  I must also say up front that I would like to give room for differing viewpoints and opinions. But I hope that it can all be conducted in a very compassionate and respectful way.

Several weeks ago, I gave a warm up to the topic and I think that the comments, particularly by my friend, Aus, bear some reading and thinking - especially if this conversation is important to you in your own journey. Click over HERE for the post and its comments. I gotta tell ya, Aus, I almost felt like I didn't need to write this series, so eloquent were your comments and thoughts!  :)

The first question that I often hear from curious folks is "How Did You Know Adoption Was Right For You?"  For a more fleshed-out version of our background story, you can start HERE and read through my archives. But a quick summary that I think will help you, wherever you are in your own journey, is this: We believe that God used a unique-to-me set of circumstances and planted a seed in my heart that eventually blossomed into a full-grown desire to be open to His plan and His Word for alternative ways to build our family. For me, it started with that book. But that book isn't the only ingredient in this mix that has become my life. And I think it is really, really important to point out that element of the story. Let me expand. . . 

Over the years of my life between reading that book and signing our first adoption application, there were countless experiences and events about which I had to make choices.

I had to choose to keep my heart and mind open to whatever plan God had for me and my future family, even if it meant that He didn't actually desire for us to adopt. It wasn't about the actual process of adoption in those early stages, rather it was about being willing to take the path He was opening and trusting Him for the bigger picture of our life and our calling as a family. For example, at our wedding ceremony, there was a prophetic word spoken over us that our marriage was not just going to be for our benefit and our family, but that it carried a higher purpose for serving and expanding His kingdom. Now, I believe that every godly couple has that same higher calling and purpose - every believer carries the mission to build His Kingdom, in ways and paths unique to that believer and the way God wired them. But to hear it spoken out loud in that vehicle, we had to choose to heed it and point our life in that direction as a mark of trust and obedience. And to know that almost 200 other folks heard it that day, too, was a huge sense of accountability and purpose.

I had to choose to look at the things that happened to me and around me as opportunities to learn more about the issues surrounding adoption, orphan care, international crises involving children, and so on. For example, in my freshman year of college, when given an opportunity to write a paper about timely social issues, I chose to research and study trans-racial adoption issues. In my senior year, I developed a business plan to create and staff and run an orphanage. (Oh, the ignorance of youth! I can't believe how naive I was in my planning!)

I had to choose to tell The Boss JUST HOW deeply I felt about the idea of adoption, as soon as I felt our relationship becoming serious enough to contemplate a life together. (I'm so thankful that he didn't go running the other direction when I told him I didn't care how big our family grew!) I had to choose to surround myself with other folks who would support that dream and help us wait for it in those years. Those friends and family were invaluable to this heart when it grew weary or numb with waiting.

I had to choose whether or not to open the door of my heart to conversations about the orphan crisis in Eastern Europe when The Boss and I would watch the news together in college.  I had to choose to dig a little deeper in prayer and conversation when I found myself completely undone after a church service that featured missionaries sharing about building churches and children's ministries and medical relief centers in remote Asian villages.  I had to choose what to do with information that friends shared about their life experiences in the foster system or their own adoptions.

I had to choose to keep watering what I thought might be a seed of a dream for my family, even when the circumstances of our life together didn't look as if adoption was ever going to be a path we'd take. Between the time that I first read that book and felt broken in my heart for the children who needed parents and parents who needed children to when I put my name on an actual application from Living Hope Adoption Agency was approximately 25 years. That's a long, long time to dream.

I don't say any of that to discourage you who desire to learn more about adoption. I share it to give some context. It was our calling. It was our mission for our family. It needed to be part of The Gang's identity. While I don't believe that one should be adopting children solely as a rescue mission or as some fulfillment of "The Great Commission" (a topic I am certain will be talked about in a coming post),  I certainly do believe that parenting any child God gives to our family is a life-long calling and a mission all its own. Building your family by any means is not for the faint of heart. But how does that answer the question posed? How did I know adoption was right for us?

Simply put, it wouldn't go away. Over those 25 years, it was in front of us as a possible path to pursue. It was around us. All the time. I can't think of even one single year, even when we were in the mad-dash rush of two and three little ones in diapers, that it wasn't in my mind. In my heart. It just wouldn't go away.

Many times, it was almost as if I was seeing things about a circumstance or event that no one else around me would see. Or I was seeing them in ways that didn't connect IN THAT WAY with those who were seeing and experiencing those same things. At other times, I felt like God had given The Boss and I a pair of adoption-lensed glasses. What we saw and experienced came through those lenses and always led us back to the desire, no, the need, to seek out that child He was planning for The Gang beyond the biological options. The choices we made along the way to pay attention to the things in our life helped us clarify the big question of whether adoption was right for us.

Now, let's hear from you who have already answered that same question for your family? Tell us, how did YOU know adoption was right for your family?

Sunday Snapshot

LadyBug is really a chip off the old Momma block.  For weeks now, she's been begging me to help her move her room around, to change things up a little. No real reason, except that a girl likes some renovating once in a while. And it's even more fun when it's free and not driven by necessity. Like another project that The Boss took on this weekend. {Cough Cough} Ahem. But that's another post entirely. . . 

Disassembling the room turned into some purging and organizing.

I LOVE it when that happens! I mean, I don't love that this child

seems to need that kind of help more often than other of my children.

But I do love filling up a garbage bag and moving it OUTTA HERE!

 We bought this used dresser when we first moved here

from neighbors who were retiring and down-sizing.

Over the course of its life, it's been teal, red, and mint green.

The mirror was free, from the master bath of our previous home.

It used to be gold. There's nothing like the power of pure white

paint to revitalize and re-purpose old furniture!

Moving the room around also prompted a heavy duty cleaning

of all the corners and radiators. The first Spring cleaning of the season.

The Boss found the nightstand on one of his morning runs.

It was 80's off-white with gold trim.

We really love white paint around here!

I found that mirror in a neighbor's trash pile this evening.

Once The Boss is finished the "big project" that keeps getting

bigger each time he heads in to work on it, he'll take it out

to the side yard and spray paint the frame and feet.

White, of course.

Here's a close up of my trash-treasure:

The carpets and walls are all dusted and clean and every surface is gleaming. Purses are sorted, toys are purged, and junk drawers are emptied. LadyBug is thrilled beyond words (literally, she couldn't speak when I brought the mirror in) with her "new" room re-do and I am thrilled to have taken out a garbage bag full of junk. I LOVE changing a room around. She really IS her momma's girl!

Link up HERE and join in

on Sunday Snapshot. If you leave me a comment, 

I'll come by and check out your pics, too.

Wordless Wednesday

Nothing says "Happy Valentine's Day!"

like a chocolate-chocolate chip brownie cake.

Unless you are an Eagles fan.

Then, it's all about the new team tee.

If you are a fashionista,

then funky tees speak loudly to you.

If you are a Momma, handsome sons

dressed to the nines (or not!) speak clearly, too.

And if you are the Li'l Empress over it all,

then a red doggie who rewards you with happy barks

and "Atta boys" works pretty well, too.

For more Wordless Wednesday fun,

head over and link up! 

Leave me a comment and I'll drop by.

Why I Love Valentine's Day

I love Valentine's Day.

I love the proliferation of hearts and flowers that take over the stores. I love seeing my and my neighbors' flags fluttering across the neighborhood. I love watching the flower trucks zooming past the house on their delivery routes. I love the love songs that the radio stations pull out from the archives, sparking memories as I listen. I love the sappy television commercials (Well, except for that dumb one with the couple looking out the window during a storm where the crack of thunder makes her jump. Ugh. Really? Puhleeze.) and all the Hallmark movies with all the Hallmark ads. I even loved watching the two managers of my local grocery store set up their annual flowers and chocolates display at the entry to the store and listening in on their banter while they worked.  I love it all.

I'm a sap. I know that. And I'm perfectly content with it. I like my sappiness. Frankly, I think that a few more people should give in to their inner sap more often. Instead, far too many folks seem to camp on their cynical, critical, jaded side. And this particular holiday seems to bring out the worst of it.

Oh, yes. I went there. I wasn't gonna do it. But I went there. And here's why.

I KNOW that what we experience as the "day-after-New-Year's" headlong media blitz and retail snow job called Valentine's Day promotion is overdone.  I know it and I don't like it any more than the rest of you.  But I don't buy into the commercialism of it all. I recognize that it's way overdone in the media. The car and jewelry and travel and chocolate ads are bent on selling us stuff we don't need.

(Well, okay, we all need some chocolate. And now that I stop to think about it, I might need a bit of a tropical vacation while I'm staring out at all the dirty snow in my front yard. But I digress....)

I also know we're "supposed" to show love and express love every day of the year. Really. And I do, every day. In countless, often menial and unnoticed ways. I mean, I am not scrubbing toilets and sorting stinky socks cuz I'm getting paid so well, right?

I also know that Hallmark and American Greetings and all the other card companies have been cashing in on the holiday. Yada yada yada. I know all that.

And I still don't care. I love Valentine's Day.

I LOVE VALENTINE'S DAY!

I think everyone needs to stop once in a while and play in the puddles of sappiness a little bit. I think everyone should pause and think about their first love for a moment. It is my firm opinion that everyone should take a stroll down memory lane and remember their favorite Valentine's Day. I think we all need a little mush. I am determined that we all ought to find a moment or two - or, say, a whole day! - to let the sentiments of all the glorious, lavish, crazy, sweet, innocent, and interesting kinds of love wash over us.

Husband and wives should take an extra minute to kiss a little naughty.

Don't worry, it won't kill the kids to see it - after all, it's Valentine's Day!

Parents should hug some extra and kiss the sweet faces

of their babies, no matter the age. And if you have teen boys like I do,

it might be the one day that they LET you be a little mushy

and maybe even be a little mushy back!

Siblings should stop and say "I love you" to each other

and acknowledge that the love they share

is vitally important to keeping a family healthy and growing forward.

Friends ought to take a moment and recognize

that their love is sustaining in good times and in bad.

You see, I come to this strong set of feelings out of a long history. My mom always made Valentine's Day special when we were kids growing up. A fancier than normal meal prepared just for the occasion. A card by our plate. A little box of chocolates or conversation hearts from my dad.  A special, usually decadent dessert to share together. It wasn't over the top. It wasn't sensationalized. It wasn't commercialized. It was a pause in the regular routine of our busy home to acknowledge that the everyday love in our home was to be celebrated. To be cherished.

Later, my dad started a tradition when I went off to college of picking out a Valentine's card and sending it to me with a little something that every college kid loves: cash. And while I really appreciated the moolah, what I really treasured was the card. It was all done by him. (I suspect that ours was like many other families - most of the correspondence was from both of my folks but usually carried out by my mom, so his handwriting on the card took on special significance to me.) And even now, when I get that card in the mail addressed to The Boss and I in my Dad's script, I still feel a little thrill.

When the grandkids came along, he continued the tradition by picking out cute little cards for each one of them and tucking a crisp dollar bill inside. And each year, my kids LOVE the anticipation of seeing his distinctive handwriting on the card, addressed to each of them individually. They smile and delight in their "monies" (as Li'l Empress called it this morning) and they revel in the feeling that Grandpa (and Grandma - he signs it for her, too!) loves them. Even though my two oldest are far past the thrill of a simple dollar bill, they tuck it in their pockets with soft smiles. They GET what that card means. They know that they are loved. 

And THAT, my friends is why I love Valentine's Day. It's a beautiful excuse to pause and appreciate the love you have in your life. It's the perfect reason to stop what you are doing and let the ones around you know in no uncertain terms how you feel about them. Celebrate love today. In whatever form it appears in your life - go and celebrate it simply or lavishly. Just be sure you do it.

Sunday Snapshot

We spent Saturday at my sister's house, just around the corner (I know, how cool is it that I live so close to not just one but two of my sibs?!). It was a grand celebration of my handsome nephew's 11th birthday. There were balloons, streamers, and food.

OH, THE FOOD!  My family knows how to do it right when feeding the ones we love. Two different kinds of home-made soup. Deli meats, chips, veggies, and dessert. Dessert in itself was a sight to behold. My mom made her Ricotta Cookies, frosted in pink and green and white. She also made sugar cut-out cookies in heart-shapes and frosted pink and white. There were big, thick, chewy Rice Krispy treats, chocolate-frosted cupcakes with mounds of sprinkles. Lots and lots of sprinkles. And lots and lots of sticky pink-colored kisses along the way.

But you'll have to take my word for it. I forgot my camera. The fuzzy, cottony, ick inside my head must have kept me from remembering to grab it on the way out the door. Drat!

However, I did catch this delightful shot when we got home and let the kids decompress in front of a favorite show.  How cute is our little Sleeping Beauty?

All that play time with her cousins wore her out. Especially since she was up so late the night before for our church's Valentine Dessert Night. And up early that morning. Skipping a nap for this one is usually a recipe for some serious grumpies the next day, so even though it was pretty late in the day to catch some Z's, we let her enjoy the slumber for a little while. Especially after we counted how many of Grandma's cookies she'd consumed. The crashing off a sugar high is even worse with an already sleepy girl!

And while she slept, LadyBug and I surfed the net for a couple good pics of Bono. Why, you ask? Well, LadyBug was invited to a Celebrity Dress Up birthday bash and she really got into her brother's suggestion to find a celeb that her other friends wouldn't automatically imitate. I was thrilled when she picked Bono. And even more thrilled that she seemed to know more about his "faith in action" activism than his music.  Here's the picture she chose to copy:

And here is the look we came up with to copy it.

Not his most current look but I think she pulled it off pretty well. And I was totally thrilled that she was all about his relief work and not just his music career. There were lots of other pop stars represented, but she was the only Irishman with a mission :)

We also started the planning and purchasing process of re-doing the upstairs bathroom this weekend. Took advantage of a big huge "Bath Event" sale going on at the local home improvement store. But none of you care about seeing pics of a boxed toilet. No matter how many stars it gets for flushing power, right?

I really need to be better at bringing my camera where ever I go. This week's boring Sunday Snapshot is proof positive!

Link up by clicking HERE

but leave me a comment before you go.

I'll come by your obviously-more interesting-

post-of-family-fun and leave you a comment too!

That Crazy Girl O' Mine!

Every so often, when things are getting too quiet around here,

I go looking for Li'l Empress.

And every so often, this is what I find when I go looking.

That cupboard normally looks like this:

But when Li'l E is bored, or when she needs to show a

certain member of this family JUST WHO IS REALLY THE BOSS,

she does this:

And stuck behind that open door, fortified with all the biggest pillows, toys,

and blankets that she can find to keep it barricaded "just so" 

is that previously mentioned family member:

I'm not sure just who needs therapy

more at this point: my poor diva kitty, Maggie

or that crazy girl o' mine?

Working Up A Post

I'm working on a post about adoption. I'm hoping it will be series of answers to some big questions I've been getting from friends and acquaintances in recent months. I'd like some of you to weigh in on the topics. Please leave a comment with your thoughts to some of (or all of!) the questions below.  Feel free to add your own questions, as I'm fairly certain that these few are NOT enough to get us started!

• How do I know if adoption is right for me?
• Why should I adopt?
• How do I choose what path of adoption is right for me and my family?
• Where can I go to learn more about adoption?
• How do I talk to my family (my spouse, my kids, etc.) about my interest in adoption?
• What do I look for in an agency? Do I even need an agency?
• What questions should I be asking to help me start the process of readying my heart and my home for an adoption?

This post (or series of posts) will be BY NO MEANS exhaustive. Or even authoritative. Rather, I'm seeking to answer from my experiences, to share the resources I've encountered, and to utilize the community of adoption-built families in a way that helps those who are seriously inquiring. I'm looking to put together some ideas, anecdotes from real life, and starting points for the folks who come to me with interest.  I doubt that everything I know will be ENOUGH for these folks, so I'd like to hear from you.

One of my favorite things to do is to network folks with resources and with other people who can be meaningful in their life journey. If you are interested in adoption, then this coming post might be for you.  If you enjoy sharing what you have experienced or helping folks connect with resources and information, then this post might be for you.  If you have done this process called adoption, even once, then this post I'm brewing up might be for you.

Come on, share away. Ask me anything.  Tell me your story. Share your tips and tricks and secrets. I'm anxious to hear from YOU!

A Give-Away!

Who doesn't love a little bit of free these days?  Especially if you've been stuck in the house with cabin-fever washing over you in waves of icy wet, antsy, ickiness.

Not that I'm feeling any of that.

Ha!

Head over to my friend's blog. It's brand new, encouraging, uplifting, and a great read.

And today?

Today she's hosting a give-away.

I think you might really, really like this one.

Go on. You know you want to.  Really. Go.

Wordless Wednesday

Scenes from the epic Ice Storm of 2011 . . .

Our front yard was a sheet of ice at 7 a.m.

I would love it if the pine trees at the corner

of our lot would just crack under the pressure.

It'd save us and our neighbors a lot of money

this coming summer!

My pretty little Japanese Maple

is holding up pretty well under all the

weight of this ice.

 The Boss captured all this frozen beauty

when he ventured out to check the drain pipes and gutters.

For more Wordless Wednesday fun,

link up HERE.

If you came by today, let me know

by leaving a comment.

I'm getting lonely for adult conversation!

FAIL!

Ugh. Double UGH. This one even rates a TRIPLE UGH.

UGH. UGH. UGH.

I completely forgot when I posted that last entry for those yummylicious cookies that my Kitchen Aid stand mixer?

Is broken. Again.

TWICE now in 13 months.

I'm so disgusted on so many levels.

I mean, I don't even make that many things that are super heavy and thick that the gears would have to labor so incredibly hard.

I don't even use it every day.

Truthfully, I don't even use it every week.

I really would have expected it to be more reliable.

More sturdy and capable of handling a simple double batch of oatmeal cookies.

Or peanut butter cookies.

With the butter and shortening completely melted to make the mixture easier to handle.

Bah!

I mean, considering it's sportin' the label "HEAVY DUTY" in big bold letters right across the front.

You'd think, right?!

You'd be wrong.

Last year's repair guy explained it all.

Plastic gears that break "more" easily to prevent the motor from burning out.

Plastic gears that are easier and more cost-effective to repair and replace.

Yada. Yada. Yada.

I'm disgusted.

There's not many double batches of anything that I can make that my dinky little hand-mixer can handle.

And Saturday? I was too irritated to even try after I realized the mixer was NOT. MOVING.

And smelled slightly like a diesel truck idling in the middle of my kitchen.

Which went over like a lead balloon with the kids.

Ugh. UGH. UGH!

The Fun Part of Fasting

I love the feeling that comes at the end of a time of fasting.  It's a celebration of sorts.  And this weekend, The Gang will be breaking their fast in all kinds of ooey-gooey style.  The first thing I'm making, after a big 'ole pot of dark, rich coffee, will be these treasures. They may be tiny, but they pack a mighty punch of flavor and decadence.  I have no idea just to whom I should be giving credit for these little bites of deliciousness, but I'm sharing this recipe with you and yours, hoping that you all enjoy the cookies (and the making, maybe even together?) as this Gang enjoys them.  Don't say I didn't warn ya - they are ridiculously scrumptious and worth the many steps of creating this fantabulousness. Trust me.

Peanut Butter Cookie Sandwiches

Cookie Ingredients:

1/2 cup butter, softened

1/2 cup creamy peanut butter 

1 cup sugar

1 egg

1 1/2 cups flour

3/4 tsp baking soda

1/4 tsp salt

Cookie Directions:

Beat butter, peanut butter, sugar and egg until smooth.  Add flour, baking soda and salt until mixed.  Roll 1 tsp dough into a ball and place 2 inches apart on un-greased cookie sheet.

Bake 10 minutes at 350.  Let stand 2 minutes and remove to cool.

Sandwich Filling:

3/4 cup peanut butter

1/4 cup confectioners' sugar

Make Filling:

Mix peanut butter and sugar.  Spread flat side of a cooled cookie with 1 tsp (-ish!) of peanut butter filling and top with another cookie.  Refrigerate until firm (about 30 minutes).

Dipping Chocolate:

1 cup semi chocolate chips

4 tsp vegetable or canola oil

Dip in Chocolate:

In microwave, melt the chocolate chips slowly and gently and add oil in small amounts at a time. Stir to combine.

While chocolate is still wet and warm, dip cookies halfway into melted chocolate and let excess drip off.  Place on waxed paper and drizzle decoratively with remaining chocolate.  Refrigerate to set and/or to store.

Can You Hear Me Now?

Our church has been in a season of fasting and prayer during the month of January. Normally, I don't talk to many folks about our fasting decisions, as they are really individual per person and per family. But most of you who come by here regularly know that one of the things that is regularly on my heart and in my "sights" spiritually is the plan and vision that God may have for the next season of This Gang's life. This year, our fast is no different.

The Boss and I have been praying for clarity regarding our home's vision and mission. Specifically, we've been praying about things that can make us more like Christ first within the walls of our home and then to the others that we encounter in our daily lives.  We've also been praying about our next adoption. It's never far from my heart or my mind, the deep-seated knowing that there's a little girl on God's heart that will be just the right addition to this big, loud, crazy Gang. I think about it all the time, really. I pray about it, I talk with the kids about it, I read all I can get my hands on regarding adoption and special needs. And I try to listen. To the Lord. To my husband. To the kids. To those who have traveled the journey before us, both in adoption and in life. The listening is hard for me. (yes, snicker away, go ahead... okay, composed and ready to resume? Good. Let's move on.)

The listening is hard for me for many reasons.  But in the last week or so, as I've been contemplating the ways in which we need to tighten up our home environment to provide a good listening environment for Li'l Empress, I've been struck by just how important it is that we be creating a good listening environment for The Gang. So that we can listen to The Lord.

Yeah. Let that one sink in with ya a bit.

I've been struck more strongly in the last week by just how hard it is to create and maintain a good spiritual listening environment in a busy home like ours.  In this culture of ours.  We do like our background noise, don't we? Radio on in the car. Morning news blaring in the background. Fancy ring tones for calls and different ones for texts. Songs stuck in our heads, leaking out our mouths (no matter how badly sung!) from this morning's radio alarm. Cell phones permanently attached to our fingertips for constant access to incoming texts. Immediate answers back to said texts. Laptops open in every room. Multiple tv's to avoid the noise of dissension over channel choice. Come on now, I know that it isn't just The Gang's Headquarters that sounds like this. You probably got some noise goin' on in your house, too. Don't ya?

Hearing lots but not really listening to anything.

Really. We can't handle the quiet can we?  And as the old saying goes, when I'm stepping on your toes, I'm bruising the bottoms of my own feet as I tromp. (Or something like that, anyway... I swear, I heard it somewhere.)

I was struck Wednesday afternoon by the utter silence and still in my home for all of 30 minutes or so. The Boss and Dr. D were at the gym (no doubt with iPods blaring in their ears to drown out the noise of the gym tv's!). Shaggy was in his room working on a school project. Li'l Empress was sleeping. And LadyBug and Baby BlueEyes were playing in the snow at their cousins'. I was alone (GOSH, that felt so weird in itself!). And IT. WAS. QUIET.  Just me and my book. Oh, and my Tigger mug o' tea, of course.

In that quiet moment, I realized that I could hear the snow falling outside the window.

I could hear my cat snoring.

I could hear.

I could hear.

I'm coming to the end of this season of fasting and prayer with a new-to-me revelation of my spiritual listening environment. It needs to be a lot quieter, a lot more often. It needs to be peaceful. It needs to be free of spiritual clutter. And purged of the white noise of my life. I need to hear Him. But in the hearing, I need to listen.

So when HE asks me, "Can you hear me now?" I can say, "YES, LORD! I hear YOU. And I'm LISTENING."

Wordless Wednesday

It's snowing again, here in PA.

I think even my happy little snowmen

are getting a little tired of the white stuff.

For more Wordless Wednesday fun,

head over to 5 Minutes for Mom.

If  you leave me some comment love,

I'll be happy to reciprocate.

While I'm huddled up with my hot tea

and heavy sweater!

Back on Track

In the months since Li'l Empress began pre-school, I have noticed in small and almost immeasurable ways that The Gang has gotten kind of lazy about maintaining some of the environmental changes we made in respect of her hearing issues. Nothing huge, just some creeping in of bad habits that barely blipped on anyone's individual radar when they were happening. Things like talking over each other at the dinner table (not in rude, interruptive ways, more like multiple conversations happening at once).  Or the iPod being on too loudly for too long.  Or leaving the morning news on while the boys were fixing their breakfasts and talking. Quite often, the microwave and/or the dishwasher and/or the washing machine would also be going all at the same time. Finally, there's been a return of the yelling across the house or up the stairs lately. Which easily (too easily?) became yelling for lots of other communications as well.  (Not even going to tell you how often I've fallen into this mode of communicating lately - suffice it to say that snow days, cabin fever, and hibernation are not always my friend! Ugh.)

As a reminder, unilateral hearing loss (hearing only from one ear) is a very easy special need to live with, and some of the adaptations that a family can make to create a good listening environment include the absence of "white noise" or cluttery-type background noises, speaking one person at a time (this is a tough one in a large family!), limited electronic noises (tv, iPod, stereo, computers, etc.), and face-to-face communication as frequently as possible when addressing the member with the hearing loss.

(Click here and scroll down to the section that says

"Profound Hearing Loss" for a great description of what Li'l E lives with daily.)

Unfortunately, if you are also a parent, you well know that these kinds of  bad habits almost always start small. With a slow creeping in that eventually feels large and looming when you let yourself finally acknowledge their presence.

Put all that together with the fact that we haven't really had a "normal" (for us) routine since before Christmas break and I was kind of knocked upside the head with a bit of awareness the other day that had been eluding me in the previous weeks.  I knew something was "off" for her, (not just for her but for The Gang in general if I'm being really honest about it all) and that her frustrated and often defiant behavior wasn't just about being three. I forced myself to observe her for the last couple days, and to observe the interactions between her and the older kids. What I noticed made me really sad. It felt a bit large and looming as I first mulled it over in prayer. But then I got determined to take back some ground. To get back on track, as it were.

There's been a return of some of her anxious behaviors, mainly manifesting itself this time in picking at some loose cuticles and dead skin around her thumbnails. Her poor little thumbs are just about raw. She's been obsessing about a couple things, and has been really really adamant about her favorite routines/rituals (like bed time or pre-school drop-offs).  She's also fallen into the habit of yelling "WHAT?" when we speak to her. Sometimes it's kind of funny, especially when she scrunches her little nose and is trying to concentrate on what she thinks she just heard. But the more I observe these (and other) behaviors, the more I'm realizing that we have got to be modeling the tenets of a good listening and communicating environment for her in more tangible and simple ways.

It's not surprising to me that these things are coming to the surface this month. I know that practically speaking, we just wrapped up an incredibly busy holiday season and every kid reacts to the changes and irregularities with similar behaviors. I also know that the older kids have been battling some selfish behaviors and egocentric attitudes that have made the dynamics between all of them very difficult.  Throw in a little cabin fever, a head cold or two, a lingering virus and two teens who can't really chew real food yet but are all the same just  positively rammy with hunger and let's just say that January hasn't been my favorite month.

All that being said, I must also say this:  It is no coincidence to me that it's all coming to the surface in the midst of this intentional season of prayer and fasting for The Gang and our church. Granted, I'm a little slow on the uptake, having only come to this ability to articulate the "ick factor" here in the house as recently as Saturday evening.  (Yes, I know, we've been fasting and praying since the 10th. I told ya, I'm a little slow!)

I know this stuff in my head. In fact, I could have even told The Boss that we should be geared up to expect some behavioral and spiritual battles early in the month. But I never followed up on the thought, nor on the preparations in my own heart and mind.  I regret that now; it sure makes for a rough start to the new year!  I do feel as if I'm coming out of the fog of it all a bit. Especially on Monday - while I sitting across from Li'l E in a crowded, noisy McDon@ld's.

So, I'm forcing myself back on track. Quieter daytime environment. (Sigh. I really have to go back to using my iPod mainly during naptime, I guess.) Re-directing and re-phrasing. Girding myself up for more consistent reminders to speak nicely to one another. And to do it IN THE SAME ROOM. Pulling out the big guns of serving one another for consequences of disrespectful or unloving behavior. Making mediation of their differences include reconciliation and repentance. Assigning extra jobs to those who can't get themselves back on track with my lead. (Counting to ten before yelling myself. Ugh.) 

If nothing else, the quieter more peaceful environment will return soon because certain little Gang members will be plumb tuckered out from all the jobs that they reap from sowing their seeds of dissension. And I'll have a clean house, to boot!

Sunday Snapshot

What to do when the frigid weather forces
The Gang to hibernate for

the entire weekend?

Why, you have a Pl@y-Doh
Cake Decorating Contest, of course.

Hope you all are finding creative and
colorful ways to stay warm and stay IN!

Link up over at Sunday Snapshot

and join the fun.

Leave me a comment 

and I'll come by for a visit 

over some hot tea!

Wordless Wednesday

Eating a Fr*sty with no feeling in your

whole lower face takes great concentration.

He actually asked for a mirror so he could

see where he was putting the spoon!

For more Wordless Wednesday fun,

head over to 5 Minutes for Mom and join in!

Leave a comment and I'll drop by 

to say hi and return the favor.

Sunday Snapshot

... on a Monday!

Fun in the snow on a sunny Sunday. . .

Baby Blue Eyes is manning the ship, steering them

safely down our mini-hill in the backyard.

 There's nothing quite like the bond these two share.

Already whispering secrets and giggling over silly clothes.

Even through chattering teeth and bracing wind!

Join the fun over at Snapshot Sunday!

Leave a comment and let me know

you were were. I'll come by for a visit

and do the same. . .

Where Have I Been?!

Omigoodnessgracioussakesalive!  Have you SEEN how long it's been since I last posted a blog entry? It's been 11 days. EEEE.LEV.EHN. I think that is quite possibly the longest I've ever gone without a post. I have no idea where the time all went.  In the days since we last spoke (Yes, I know we don't really speak here, but I like to feel like I'm chatting with you all when I'm writing. That okay with you? Good. Moving on...)

In the days since we last spoke, I've attempted a beginning of the year cleaning/purging/organizing that got seriously derailed by, well, life. The cd cabinet did get purged (not nearly enough but it's a start), closets got cleaned and then, well, life happened. I canNOT believe just how much grocery shopping and meal planning I had to do in that first week of the month, just to get us caught back up and on track from the holiday routines! Does anyone else have that problem with their meal planning?  We only had a couple "out of the ordinary" meals and special treats, but somehow I was so off-track with some of that stuff that I was starting almost from scratch.  So I've been cooking. ALOT. We had our first snow day - nothing like a snow day to completely throw a Momma's routine out the window, huh?  Our local church family also began our annual 21-day season of prayer and fasting . . . obviously not a ton of stuff to "DO" with that, but my focus has been different this last week, for sure.

And as of Thursday morning, Shaggy and Dr. D are now 8 wisdom teeth lighter between the two of them. Once they are back on their feet, I think I might be able to resume some of the plans I had for those annoying little drawers and cubbies that I've been ignoring far too long.  So. All that to say that I've been pretty pre-occupied and great blog post ideas would pop into my head when I'd finally fall into bed exhausted at 11 p.m. But we all know once a tired Momma is warm and snug in her bed, it doesn't even matter how great that blog post sounds inside her head. The ZZZZZZ's are calling louder. Oh, the call of the ZZZZ's. The call has been strong these last two weeks, I tell ya.

On a happy note, I'm thrilled to report that the pathology report finally came back on my moles that were removed before Christmas and everything came back clear. I wasn't entirely aware of just how nervous I was about the results until I got that call. The happy tears were a relief to cry.  And, my mother-in-law came through a lumpectomy with great success recently, after several delays due to a nagging infection in her lungs. Finally, one of my favorite guys in the whole world (you met him and his family here) came through a rather unsettling medical crisis with flying colors and God showed Himself strong and faithful even in the face of military procedure and logic.

With all that has gone on here in The Gang's house since that first week of January, I am honestly startled and not just a little dismayed to look at my calendar and note that we are ONLY half way through the LONG.EST. month of the year.  I'll be quite content if we don't have any more snow, or snow days for that matter. But if we do, the fridge and the pantries are finally all re-stocked. The meals are planned. And since The Gang is fasting all sweets, treats, and sugary-snacks together, I don't have to bake at all this month. Which should leave me with plenty of time to get back into the groove of hanging with you all, blogging to my heart's content again.  And aren't you all so glad for that?!

Wordless Wednesday

  Cupcake Creations in the Kitchen

 One must be properly attired in a pink tutu

to create the perfect cupcake!

For more Wordless Wednesday fun,

link up at 5 Minutes for Mom!

Let me know you were here 

and I'll come by to peek in at your WW post.

Making My Heart Race!

You might have heard about a new little network debuting this weekend . . . you know the one. Formed recently by that famous lady that folks talk about all the time? You know, around the water cooler, over coffee with friends, in the grocery store with strangers? The one who is responsible for most conversations that start like this,   "So, did you see Oprah this week?"

You might remember that I've had my own love-dislike relationship with her over the recent years of this blog. (Here's a post about a show I loved. And here's one about a show I disliked.) No matter how you feel about the amazing Miss O, I'm pretty sure you've had at least one conversation recently about her or about one of her shows. We all have, whether or not we can overcome our pop-culture snobbery enough to actually admit it.  (Ouch, was that my toe I just stepped on?!)

Here at The Gang's headquarters, I can't stop talking about one of the new shows that premiered over the weekend on her new network. In fact, when I watched the first episode in full, I was so excited and motivated, I could hardly fall asleep when it was over. Which, as a night person already, is really not a great thing at 10 p.m. Especially when your sick, morning-person hubby is staggering up the stairs for bed and the bed isn't even made yet.

(Earlier that morning, I was highly motivated to clean my room because The Boss has been sick. I "NEEDED" to strip the sheets. RIGHT. THEN... And wash all the towels. And everything else he might have touched. Or breathed upon. Or near. Yes, I am The Gang's Momma and I am a germ-a-phobe.)

So, anyhoo.  (I never really say that. But it sounded so, so, Australian. Didn't it? Did it? I'm going with a big fat "yes.") So. I've been anxiously awaiting this new show for weeks now. As soon as I heard that my hero of home-organization was coming back to regular television programming, I was over the moon with joy. You may remember him from this little gem of a show:

But this new show? Is giving me palpitations. And I've only seen the sneak peek previews and one full episode. My little heart is going crazy with skipped beats and "a ha!" moments. I've already purged a couple jewelry boxes, Li'l Empress's closet and dresser, my desk organizer, my make-up stash, a huge pile of paperwork, and a couple random drawers. Next up is our huge collection of cd's, dvd's, and vhs tapes.

(And by the by, if you have any leads other than cr@igslist

for a great way to unload those kinds of items and fill our little Adoption Jar

with some extra change, I'm taking suggestions!)  

I even got the kids in on the action by making them sort and purge their arts and crafts bin. Whew! We filled three kitchen garbage bags of that sort of stuff just from Sunday night till their bedtime on Monday night. In fact, after seeing the sneak peeks of my favorite new show between football games on Sunday, I even ordered my whole Monday schedule around how to best and most efficiently run my errands, do the holiday returns/exchanges, and purge through some more paperwork in order to be able to sit (guilt-free!) with a big mug o' chai and absorb all of Peter's wisdom undistracted by my workload.

Yes. Yes, I am talking about Peter Walsh and his awesome new show.  If you haven't caught it yet, you really must find it. Then, DVR it. Prepare a mug o' hot drink of choice for yourself and take it all in. Seriously. There's something for everyone. Even The Boss sat and watched it with me, commenting and agreeing with points along the way. (Whether he actually implements any of the tips and tools for his own stash of "STUFF" remains to be seen. Although I will give him props. Over the weekend, he did clean out his closet and got rid of a couple t's and some old socks. Santa brought him new socks this year.)

I was oooh'ing and aaaah'ing over his sage insight (Peter's, not The Boss's!) and strategizing in my head what I would be able to do with what I was taking in. Oh, and the beautifully organized, focused, intentional living space was making me positively teary by the show's end. What a lovely room. What a gift to give that family. What a delightful jump-start for their new perspectives. Sigh. I've already set the DVR to record each and every episode. I canNOT miss even one. And look at that, I'm being super-time efficient by dvr'ing them too - no commercials detracting from the mission of my viewing pleasure and only a portion of an hour taken up in my day. I'm so proud of myself!

I've decided to ride that wave and keep feeding the thrill that I feel every time I throw something out. I'm gonna ride the crest of accomplishment that soars inside when I clean a shelf or  re-organize a cupboard after a good purging.  I'm hanging on to the high I get whenever I down-size a drawer. (Wow, that was some kickin' alliteration, there! Look what an un-distracted 48 minutes with Peter Walsh has done for me!)

(Well, really, I've loved his work for years

but this show has catapulted

him to celebrity crush-dom.

I wonder if he knows

how auspicious that is?)

Sunday Snapshot

Well, I'm back from my self-imposed break. You missed me, didn't ya? We had a unusually busy holiday season for our Gang, with travelling to both sets of parents and hosting family in between the stops. Unfortunately, we also had some sickness following us on all our various sundry stops along the way. The Boss is (hopefully) the last of us to suffer through a nasty head/chest cold that has been dogging the household since the middle of December. He always gets it the worst, even though mine always turns to a sinus infection right away. He should be on the upswing by the end of today, I'm praying....

My Sunday Snapshot is all about football. In addition to our raging, rabid Eagles-mania here at the Gang's house, The Boss and Dr. D also joined a fantasy football league with one of their uncles and a couple cousins. It's been fun for them, connecting with the cousins and there's been lots of old-fashioned ribbing along the way.

I'm not entirely sure I like the way it's changed how we watch games:

all that stat-checking and rooting for one player vs. just rooting for our team.

But that's alright, I guess.

I root for my Eagles and occasionally the random underdog here and there.

Anyway. Dr. D found out last night at the end of our decidedly lackluster game

with the Cowboys that he won the fantasy league's championship.

He gave himself a "Gator-ade" bath in the driveway to celebrate.

Yeah. Ummm, I nixed the artificial stuff and he used a tiny cup of regular water.

After all, it was really, really cold out there.

 He was jubilant. Even in the virtual world of sports,

he's super competitive and NEEDS to excel.

He also loves to ham it up and make us all laugh

at his antics. He was in rare form last night.

And, it appears, he needs to congratulate himself.

This is a funny trophy he made in an elementary art class quite a few years ago.

He pulled it out tonight and paraded it around the house,

chanting as if he won some national championship or something.

He even made himself a screen banner that he can look at everyday.

Or at least until he has something else for which to applaud himself!

Come on over and join the Sunday Snapshot fun.

Even if you post on Monday like me!

Leave a comment, let me know you were here.

And I'll drop by later. After the coffee takes effect

and I've adapted to the idea of Monday.