I know I promised a post soon on what I learned in taking A Year Off. But a couple other really noteworthy posts have come to my attention lately. Basically, they are variations on the themes I shared with you. My point in sharing all these things with you is to further spread awareness about just how HUGELY important it is for each family to find their own groove when forging the bonds of attachment. I'd really like it if you head over to there and soak in what this precious mom is sharing.
Special thanks to my friend, Stephanie for sharing this perspective with me. I've got another link or two up my sleeve that I think might be of benefit to some of you who are interested in adoption. I'll let you know if they pan out for sharing.
2 comments:
Good morning - great post - and she's right on top of the game! It takes 22 to 24 weeks to train adults to respond correctly to and emergency when they are under stress - and then a year or more of field practice before the really perform well. Most of those weeks are spent 'unprogramming' responses they've learned during their entire life! (And some never get it!)
With kids (who have way less life experience) it still takes a lot of time and effort to help them 'unlearn' survival skills and then learn family skills...but most importantly - parents / family / caregivers need to remember that some of the memories never really go away! Want to make Braelyn cry? Say 'bu' or 'no' in your command voice (we all have a command voice BTW!) - she'll cry in a second. Why? I don't know for sure - but - I'm thinking there is a deep fear of someone from her unknown past and this reminds her of that experience. It's been a little over 2 years....she'll never fully unlearn that response - but it will get better over time!
Mostly - adoptive parents need to know that the decisions they make in the best interest of their kids are the right ones - and friends / family / etc - just have to deal with that!
hugs - aus and co.
:o)
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