Another Special Anniversary

I'm sitting here in my cozy home, listening to the sounds of my Gang cheering on the Eagles. Li'l Empress is soundly tucked in her crib sleeping off the emotions of another hard morning transitioning into her 2 year old class. There were a lot of tears and a near-meltdown. It was a hard morning for us both.

Poor kid, change like this is never easy for any two year old. But we complicated it by being absent from church for much of August and now she's starting from scratch in a new class to boot. I'm trying hard to be patient, knowing in my head that she needs the comfort of Mommy near by to ease the tension and confusion she feels. Knowing that she can handle the new noises and new faces better if she can look up and see my face or hold my hand while she listens to the story. But it is very emotional for her and therefore for me.

Our last night in China

I'm full of thoughts and feelings today as I remember all the changes that this little girl has been through in just this past year. Yes, today is the anniversary of the day we brought Li'l Empress home. One year ago today, we landed (just about now to the hour!) on US soil. One year ago today, our precious girl added to her identity the tag of "American citizen." One year ago today, this little dumpling met her big brothers and sister. One year ago today, she came HOME.

The new citizen. A real American beauty.

It's a lot to take in. In her little life of just two years, this child has had many caregivers. She's had a birth mother, a foster mother, and now me. She's been in an orphanage, a group home, a foster home, a series of hotels, and now her forever home. She's had so many changes. It almost embarrasses me that I got so frustrated this morning in her class, with her clingy demand that I stay nearby.

And then. Then, she went to the next level with her crying and into a near melt-down. I swept her up and held her tight, singing and whispering in her ear. Reminding her that Momma is here. Momma isn't going anywhere for now. Momma is with her. Momma loves her. And the frustration melted away. The reality of all that has changed in her little life sank in. None of these changes have been of her choosing. None of these changes have been happy or pleasant at the start. None of them were comfortable for her. And certainly, none of them were easy for her to understand.

Every day, at nap and bed time we pray and thank Jesus for our family. For our HOME. Every nap and bed time, she looks up at me and says "Momma" to which I always reply, "Yes, I am your momma. I love being your momma." Every time.

And in my heart and my mind, every time, I thank the Lord for the privilege that being MOMMA is. I get to teach her that these new changes aren't so bad. That change doesn't always mean loss. That while at times it might be painful, change can also be good. Change can mean greater growth. And that she'll never have to experience such hard changes alone, ever again. She has a family now. She has a family that will point her to Jesus. And I get to be her Momma for all of it.

Happy Home Day, Li'l Empress. Your presence has changed us all for the better, with the joy and laughter that you carry with you. We love you.