Last night, while sucking the last dregs of life out of our Mommy-proclaimed "Jammy Day," a beautiful thing happened.
Li'l Empress clambered up into my lap. And asked for a "hud" ("hug" in her two year old speak). Not terribly rare, as she is an affectionate little thing. But then she surprised all of us and asked for "Keesh" (her speak for LadyBug) to join us. And wonder of wonders . . .
For the first time in the 14 months that we have been home together, Li'l Empress initiated, tolerated and, I daresay, reveled in a hug shared between all three of us girls. I even snuck in a few kisses on all the little cheeks resting against my shoulders and arms.
I got to sit on the couch, hugging both my girls at the same time. With no crying. No jealousy. No pushing away. No hitting or scowling. Just a warm, cuddly hug.
It may not seem like a big deal to some of you. But here at The Gang's house, it was actually a fairly important milestone. You see, Li'l Empress has been very comfortable giving and receiving affection to all of us in the house, INDIVIDUALLY. But catching sight of me hugging The Boss, or worse, one of the other kids, has caused anxiety and jealousy for her since coming home to us. We've been careful not to antagonize the jealousy or increase the anxiety while still expressing healthy affection toward each other. She has had to be reassured each time that I am still her Momma and that I love and cherish her, too. Sharing me over these last 14 months has been one of those lingering adjustments that came along much more slowly than other adaptations she's made.
I don't know what prompted yesterday's change. I don't know why all of a sudden last night was a good night to decide to share Mommy. It might have been the scads of free-floating testosterone after all the football on Sunday and all the baseball on Monday. Maybe she was needing the reassurance of female connection. I don't know. But I'll take it.
We celebrated by sharing hugs all around. It was a good night for hugging.
Li'l Empress clambered up into my lap. And asked for a "hud" ("hug" in her two year old speak). Not terribly rare, as she is an affectionate little thing. But then she surprised all of us and asked for "Keesh" (her speak for LadyBug) to join us. And wonder of wonders . . .
For the first time in the 14 months that we have been home together, Li'l Empress initiated, tolerated and, I daresay, reveled in a hug shared between all three of us girls. I even snuck in a few kisses on all the little cheeks resting against my shoulders and arms.
I got to sit on the couch, hugging both my girls at the same time. With no crying. No jealousy. No pushing away. No hitting or scowling. Just a warm, cuddly hug.
It may not seem like a big deal to some of you. But here at The Gang's house, it was actually a fairly important milestone. You see, Li'l Empress has been very comfortable giving and receiving affection to all of us in the house, INDIVIDUALLY. But catching sight of me hugging The Boss, or worse, one of the other kids, has caused anxiety and jealousy for her since coming home to us. We've been careful not to antagonize the jealousy or increase the anxiety while still expressing healthy affection toward each other. She has had to be reassured each time that I am still her Momma and that I love and cherish her, too. Sharing me over these last 14 months has been one of those lingering adjustments that came along much more slowly than other adaptations she's made.
I don't know what prompted yesterday's change. I don't know why all of a sudden last night was a good night to decide to share Mommy. It might have been the scads of free-floating testosterone after all the football on Sunday and all the baseball on Monday. Maybe she was needing the reassurance of female connection. I don't know. But I'll take it.
We celebrated by sharing hugs all around. It was a good night for hugging.
5 comments:
Aww, that is so great. I am so happy for you.
HUGE DEAL!!! We have "family" hugs and Sophie will call for everyone...Ben and Hannah. Good stuff:)
Love it! What a precious moment.
Isn't that so precious - when their little "love-cups" get so full that they have enough to overflow and you see them taking joy in being part of a FAMILY.
That? Is awesome! So happy for y'all.
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