I Gotta Get a Life!

I know, I know. . . believe me, I know. The fact that I've posted four times in less than two weeks about our adventures in potty training Li'l Empress speaks to many issues. NOT the least of which is the fact that I have no life right now.

Which isn't entirely true. I do have a life. It's just stuck in this weird summer-not summer limbo. With a dash of potty training obsession thrown in for giggles. I have the two older boys home with me and Li'l Empress all day long, finished with their schooling for the year. They're sleeping in, begging for Wii time, and coming thiiiiiiiiiiiiis close to uttering the dreaded words, "But I'm boooored." (They haven't yet, but when they do, I'm ready. The boredom busters are lining up in my mind even as I type!)

But I also have this annoying thing called SCHOOL that wakes me at the crack of dawn every morning. I mean, the waking occurs at the prompting of my alarm-radio. So that I can experience the joy and delight (insert snarkiest tone here!) of waking Baby BlueEyes. After he turns off his own alarm and falls back into bed whining and moaning.

We tip-toe quietly downstairs while Li'l Empress and the big brothers slumber away, all the while resenting the division of the day. Well, I resent it. I would rather be sneaking in another half hour or so of sleeping. Sleep that I know Li'l Empress would indulge in if the hall floorboards weren't creaking and doors weren't opening and closing. Sure enough, as soon as I get downstairs and am counting scoops of coffee into my beloved Happy Machine (read: coffee-maker), I hear her little voice calling me.  It's a darned good thing this kid wakes up happy and smiling most mornings.  It's a blessing for her that she's really cute. Cuz the level of EXCITEMENT! and EXUBERANCE! that she brings down the stairs with her is enough to make me want to crawl under the table and weep.

And since we started the potty training?  Well, that EXCITEMENT! and EXUBERANCE! has gone up a notch or two. Or 20.  Every time she potties successfully (which, in the morning, seems to be every gosh-darned 10 minutes), she jumps up and down, yelling, "I did it! I did it! Yay! Yay! Yay!"  She's so excited by her accomplishments, she doesn't even need the reward of the M&M anymore.

But I do.  Cuz the coffee isn't ready yet and when I'm looking at her sweet, little, mostly nekked body jumping around the kitchen in all her EXCITEMENT! and EXUBERANCE! I see three of her. In slow motion action, blurry and loud. Really, really loud.  (Yes, without my coffee, I think I "see" her loud. I do. And the sleeping brothers hear her. Evil laughing ensues on my part.)

We're well on our way to diaper free around here. All the chanting of "three for pee!" (3 M&M's per successful attempt after weaning her off the 1 just for trying). In fact, she's been in "big girl panties" for two days and stayed dry!  And whatever fear she might have experienced over p**ping is completely gone. Thanks to tons of apple slices, fresh carrots and a slight adjustment in the water to juice ratio in the kitchen!

I'm happy to say that she's been accident-free since last Thursday.  Me? Not so much. I've spilled coffee down the front of me, dribbled M&M's on my shirts, and tripped with almost disastrous consequences while carrying the little pot to the big pot for emptying and cleaning.

All of which left me wondering this morning just why I haven't figured out how to program the Happy Machine to be ready when my alarm goes off in the mornings.

Huh. I guess I was wrong. I really don't have a life anymore.