Tuesday, June 15, 2010

I Gotta Get a Life!

I know, I know. . . believe me, I know. The fact that I've posted four times in less than two weeks about our adventures in potty training Li'l Empress speaks to many issues. NOT the least of which is the fact that I have no life right now.

Which isn't entirely true. I do have a life. It's just stuck in this weird summer-not summer limbo. With a dash of potty training obsession thrown in for giggles. I have the two older boys home with me and Li'l Empress all day long, finished with their schooling for the year. They're sleeping in, begging for Wii time, and coming thiiiiiiiiiiiiis close to uttering the dreaded words, "But I'm boooored." (They haven't yet, but when they do, I'm ready. The boredom busters are lining up in my mind even as I type!)

But I also have this annoying thing called SCHOOL that wakes me at the crack of dawn every morning. I mean, the waking occurs at the prompting of my alarm-radio. So that I can experience the joy and delight (insert snarkiest tone here!) of waking Baby BlueEyes. After he turns off his own alarm and falls back into bed whining and moaning.

We tip-toe quietly downstairs while Li'l Empress and the big brothers slumber away, all the while resenting the division of the day. Well, I resent it. I would rather be sneaking in another half hour or so of sleeping. Sleep that I know Li'l Empress would indulge in if the hall floorboards weren't creaking and doors weren't opening and closing. Sure enough, as soon as I get downstairs and am counting scoops of coffee into my beloved Happy Machine (read: coffee-maker), I hear her little voice calling me.  It's a darned good thing this kid wakes up happy and smiling most mornings.  It's a blessing for her that she's really cute. Cuz the level of EXCITEMENT! and EXUBERANCE! that she brings down the stairs with her is enough to make me want to crawl under the table and weep.

And since we started the potty training?  Well, that EXCITEMENT! and EXUBERANCE! has gone up a notch or two. Or 20.  Every time she potties successfully (which, in the morning, seems to be every gosh-darned 10 minutes), she jumps up and down, yelling, "I did it! I did it! Yay! Yay! Yay!"  She's so excited by her accomplishments, she doesn't even need the reward of the M&M anymore.

But I do.  Cuz the coffee isn't ready yet and when I'm looking at her sweet, little, mostly nekked body jumping around the kitchen in all her EXCITEMENT! and EXUBERANCE! I see three of her. In slow motion action, blurry and loud. Really, really loud.  (Yes, without my coffee, I think I "see" her loud. I do. And the sleeping brothers hear her. Evil laughing ensues on my part.)

We're well on our way to diaper free around here. All the chanting of "three for pee!" (3 M&M's per successful attempt after weaning her off the 1 just for trying). In fact, she's been in "big girl panties" for two days and stayed dry!  And whatever fear she might have experienced over p**ping is completely gone. Thanks to tons of apple slices, fresh carrots and a slight adjustment in the water to juice ratio in the kitchen!

I'm happy to say that she's been accident-free since last Thursday.  Me? Not so much. I've spilled coffee down the front of me, dribbled M&M's on my shirts, and tripped with almost disastrous consequences while carrying the little pot to the big pot for emptying and cleaning.

All of which left me wondering this morning just why I haven't figured out how to program the Happy Machine to be ready when my alarm goes off in the mornings.

Huh. I guess I was wrong. I really don't have a life anymore.


Aus said...

You are a hoot! I like the 3 for pee line too, might need to try that with Chase soon. Regardless, getting the coffee pot programmed is the top priority - it's the oil that keeps my machine running!

Mississippi Zen and co. were buy for pizza last night (they are La Rosa's fans too!) and all are doing well - she passed along your greetings - so HI back!

And you do have a life - as do we all....and as tounge in cheek as you'd care to get....sound to me like you are living it!

hugs - aus and co.

Chris said...

You are so funny!!!!

Congrats to Li'l Empress on wearing 'big girl' panties!! I am sure she is very proud of herself!!

And yes, you really do need to program that Happy Machine of yours...it is pure bliss to wake up to coffee that is brewing & ready to drink!!!

ComfyDenim said...

You Rock.
I'm so glad you're not penning this to sound all rosey blossomed. You're real and I love it.

Potty training is all invasive and all inclusive. It just is.

All mine are potty trained -- but the youngest one has decided to forgo poop. So she holds it in until I make her sit.

The screaming and the tears and not just from her...but it takes us a fight every time.

Every stinkin' time.

It's life. And sometimes it's about poop.

Joan said...

that's really funny that she's been accident free whereas you "haven't".

I also enjoy the rhyme "three for pee"

thanks for sharing!

Cindi Campbell said...

Yes, you are so funny. Glad to see she is accident free. We are s till in potty-training mode too and if I could stay home more thatn a few hrs. she COULD be dry too. Naomi knows not to wet her training pants but when the pull-up is on....well it's all over. I'm just not brave enough to let the pull-up go when we leave the house.