Saturday, September 22, 2012

This Momma's Heart

I've said it before and I'm sure I'll say it again. My happiest days are the ones where my family gathers together to celebrate. This time, we were celebrating Baby BlueEyes. Who turned ELEVEN on Friday. Yes. Eeeeee.LEV.EN! How on earth did that happen. I can't believe it. Which is trite and redundant because every mom says it, but it's true. I can't believe he's 11 already. This momma's heart was brimming all day at the true gift our boy is to us all.

We had a huge pasta dinner and some yummy pumpkin spice cake with cream cheese frosting. It's his traditional favorite and of course, seasonally super appropriate. He got some awesome gifts and then we took some time to share what we all individually loved about him. Oh, my momma's heart was overflowing... Such loving, encouraging, and character-strengthening things were said to and about my little guy.

Another part of the gathering was for the family to spend a bit of time with Shaggy before he leaves next Sunday (sigh.sob.) for his YWAM experience. My sister left her two oldest boys here overnight with my folks to allow the older cousins some hang out time. And again. Oh, my momma's heart... Somehow, these kids all got grown up on us. But what fun to see their friendships deepening and and taking on a life of their own. I got the biggest kick of just sitting back and observing their interactions together. It's especially meaningful knowing that this season of their lives represents so much change and transition. I love that they have similar, concrete foundations to come back to and to build upon together as they continue to grow and discover the path God has for them. They will always have each other and I'm tears-at-the-back-of-my-throat grateful.

If you are thinking of the Gang in any way this week, we'd ask that you remember us in prayer. First, the next release of the Shared List is scheduled for this Monday, the 24th. We'd sincerely love for our Brynna to be found on this month's list. This momma's heart deeply desires for Shaggy to be a part of the process of adding a sister to the mix as much as possible. At the same time, I'm also trying to remember that HE knows my heart and HIS plan will unfold in HIS timing.

And speaking of Shaggy, we could all use your prayers in these final days of having him home. Shaggy is ready to move on to this season of his life. We are confident that he is ready, we are grateful for, and proud of, (is that cheeky to admit?) the training and work we've done to help him get ready. We know, if only in small part, that the many years of molding and shaping his character and stewarding his heart for the glory of our Father have led to this week. 

But this momma's heart is no longer swimming happily in the river of De Nial. This momma's heart is starting to grieve the reality of long weeks between super great bear hugs and thoughtful late night conversations. This momma's heart is freaking out at the idea of days without any chatting or checking in. I'm not okay right now. No, I'm a blubbery mess. And I'm not even trying to hide it anymore. So, if you ask me this week how I am, I might not have a lot of words. But you might want to have a tissue on hand. I will need it, I'm fairly sure.

This momma's heart will be okay. I know it, just as I know this is what He created me to do - to ready my Gang for the world and the calling God has wired into each of them. I knew that the journey would be long and hard. I just never pictured it being so.danged.hard. to actually do. And it's still a week away.

1 comment:

Selma said...

Really, reading this makes me want to cry for you. Seriously. I want to cry. for. you. I know, know, know that you will be fine and that this what you are supposed to do and yadda yadda yadda. But I also know that your heart is in love with your children and being mama to them. I get that. And frankly if I were in your shoes right now, I'd be crying to. So girl, grab a box of tissues. Let the good tears flow. And know that He is holding your hand in the midst of all of this. I'll be praying for you, that is fo sure!