Saturday, January 12, 2008

Wings and Womance

Today, The Boss came with me for a couple errands and some "alone time" together. We are in the FANTABULOUS stage of life that affords us a built-in babysitter. Sadly, we find that we are rarely taking advantage of this stage for "couple time." It's become a very utilitarian benefit: "Shaggy, can you watch the kids for an hour while I work out and pick up a couple groceries?" Or, "Shaggy, Dad and I have a meeting for church tonight, can you put the kids to bed for us?" We are trying to break Dr. D into the responsibility but have to proceed differently and with caution. After all, who can bother to check that LadyBug and Baby Blue Eyes are safely occupied when one is engrossed in a Calvin and Hobbes anthology?! (He spends way more time "in his head" than Shaggy does, so the caution is well-warranted!) Anyway, I digress. . .

While we were enjoying our time out (can you really ENJOY a crowded Saturday afternoon at the local Wal-Mart?), we talked about this stage of life that we are in. We can safely leave our children in Shaggy's care for several hours (we always stay very local), call occasionally to check in with them, and enjoy some time holding hands and talking without interruption. So why aren't we doing it more often? Why do we wait till our To Do lists become the driving force that propels us out the door and forces our "dates" to become practical, too? The usual answers - pace of life, increased family busy-ness, increased individual activities, and so on - are just too easy for me. The number of hours that are spent planning, executing, and maintaining our family's calendar, budget, and identity is exhausting. And in that planning and executing, no matter how meticulous we are, some things just fall through the cracks. Recently, time alone together to talk and re-connect has been slipping through the cracks. Neither of us really like it, but it's been so busy that we haven't had a chance to even sit and talk about it until today!

So, after our errands, we stopped at a local Mom and Pop pizza shop for a snack and time to sit away from the crowds in the shopping plaza. We took the time to talk about our adoption process, raising the finances for the process, and what the Lord is speaking to us about that process. We have so much on our hearts and minds. The longer we are part of this new international adoption community, the more we realize we don't know about the details of the process between countries. This brings up more questions about individual nations, agencies, and the journey we are on to bring our daughter home. Our little lunch together brought some answers for us personally; but even in finding those answers, we have discovered a whole new set of questions to be pursued. That's okay, I'm learning a lot and I think he is too. It's a tough journey, but we're in it to learn all the Lord has for us, spiritually and otherwise. It's opening our eyes every day to more that He may have for us in the future.

I came away from the conversation feeling energized on many levels: first, time alone with my husband always energizes me. As much of an extrovert as I am, I love the times I can pull away with just him to talk and be talked to. Second, I feel excited about the level of agreement we were able to reach without very much "back and forth" discussion or debate. That tells me that our hearts are still on the same page, moving forward. And finally, I am incredibly thankful that we made the time to do this. It was a rocky start, as I really bristled this morning over another "utilitarian" date. That was all me, expecting him to read my mind and make it more than I had suggested, without telling him that I wanted something more romantic. I knew better, but I am so grateful we pushed past it and went anyway.

For The Boss's part, he's just really, really glad we stopped to eat. He found "the best wings (he's) had in years" and still hasn't stopped exclaiming to the kids just how amazing these wings were! Who knows, I may be able to milk this one for a while and go back there again and again for wings and my own brand of womance! :)

6 comments:

Heidi @ GGIP said...

That's great that you got to go out and spend some alone time together.

I figure that by the time we get to that stage (IF THAT EVER HAPPENS), I will simply be in such a state of shock that it will put off such outings indefinitely;)

TCC said...

Hooray for you!

I love going out on dates with Simms. There even more fun now - and definitely cherished!

Livin' Life said...

It's so needed for us as couples to connect, but your right it's the one thing we tend to let fall through the cracks. It's an encouragement to hear how you guys are working it out. We have a few more years until our Shaggy could do the same.
He sounds very responsible!!!

Carol said...

2 more years and we will be able to do just that! Really excited about going out, just the two of us! Those days are very few and far between....

Carol said...

Just read your comment to my blog. Emily is going to Children's Hospital in Upper Marlboro, MD...

We switched to sn, so if you have any questions, let me know!

Katrina said...

We are guilty, guilty, guilty of not setting aside enough time alone together. Glad you and your hubby were able to snag some of that time and reconnect!